Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law
by Caleb1
Summary: Shampoo will stop pursuing Ranma if he'll help her fulfill the spirit of her tribe's law. Maybe Ranma should have checked the fine print before so quickly agreeing.
1. Prologue

[fic][Ranma][Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law]  
By: Caleb  
if you like this fic or have CC let me know at   
caleb_david@angelfire.com; ego gratification and self improvement   
are what keep me writing  
Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creation and property of   
Takahashi-sama and various other entities. I'm just borrowing them   
without permission. I promise to put them all back when I'm done...   
except possibly for Shampoo:)  
  
  
Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
  
Prologue  
  
  
All was dark and quiet in the forest, save for the crackle from a   
solitary campfire. It was barely visible through the thick ring of ancient   
trees that towered over the small clearing like menacing sentinels, ready   
to rend to shreds with ragged branches any who would dare intrude   
upon the personal and sacred ritual taking place. Still, the figure beside   
the fire would be enough to make any youth overcome his fear and   
brave the stinging nettles and poison ivy of the underbrush to get a   
closer look.  
  
In the middle of the clearing sat a girl meditating in the lotus   
position. She was an exotic beauty; unbound purple hair cascading   
down a shapely and entirely nude body. Her proximity to the fire made   
her smooth skin glisten with sweat, and the deep breathing of her   
meditation caused her ample chest to rise and fall in such a way that any   
youth would gladly accept tender cuts and itching rash as well worth the   
view.   
  
But there were no peeping toms. There were not even the usual   
rodents and owls who hunted them in this clearing. Shampoo was all   
alone with herself tonight, as she had been for the last six nights of   
purification and penance. And, as she was beginning to become   
painfully aware of, as she had been for most of her life.   
  
In fact, there were many things Shampoo was becoming painfully   
aware of. She'd always been so confident that she'd never bothered   
much with introspection; why examine yourself when were surely going   
to win someday? No, to even do so would be to admit that there might   
be a chance that you'd lose.   
  
But Shampoo _was_ losing to that girl. No, there she went trying to   
delude herself again. She'd lost to Akane. Hell, she'd never even been   
a competitor. Goddess, it still hurt just as much as it had when she'd   
first admitted it. That was the reason she'd come out here. To start her   
penance for her failure. To try and figure out how the she'd lost and   
what the hell she was going to do next.  
  
"You're a powerful Amazon, Shan Pu." The intruder's Mandarin   
was like cold steel, whose hard edge cut off the sound of the chirping   
crickets and the flow of heat from the fire; cold silence was all that   
remained in its wake. "If she's an obstacle, why don't you remove her?   
After all, obstacles are for killing, are they not?" A shiver ran down   
Shampoo's spine. The intruder was really good to have snuck up on   
her like this. Shampoo slowly reached into the folds of nowhere and   
gripped her bonbori as her eyes opened, then widened in shock.  
  
There wasn't just one intruder. She was surrounded! Through the   
transparent Amazon in front of her she could make out a ring of elders   
kneeling at the perimeter of the clearing. But most surprising was the   
identity of the warrior holding a sword toward her. Shampoo would   
never forget those eyes. She hated that cold unforgiving glare that   
looked down on her, yet she couldn't help but admire the fierce pride   
and determination that burnt beneath them. "K-ka-san*?!"  
  
*SLAP* "How dare you address me like that!" Shampoo blinked   
back tears in surprise. Her mother's body was even slenderer and faster   
than her own. And apparently stronger despite its dainty limbs. Her   
mother's blow had landed before she'd even had a chance to react.   
  
And what a blow. Not just her cheek, but her whole lower face was   
crying out in pain, as if she'd been struck with such force that the   
assaulting hand had gone through her, which, on looking back at her   
transparent mother with a pained expression (and not just from the   
difficulty of turning her strained neck), Shampoo figured it had.   
"You've been wasting so much time with these japs that you even   
sound like one now. And that expression..." spat Shampoo's mother   
with disgust, "You've gone soft, Shampoo. This is what happens when   
you spend too much time with outsiders."   
  
The elders began to murmur their concurment. Shampoo wasted   
no time in defending herself. "Me under order from matriarch to no   
speak native tongue in Nippon. Shampoo must practice Japnese, still   
need much work."  
  
"Does it ever." Shampoo wasn't sure which of the elders said that,   
but it caused the rest of them to snicker. Shampoo gritted her teeth and   
forced a sheepish smile. Mocking was better than murmuring. At least   
they all seemed to accept her excuse. No one could fault her for   
obeying the matriarch. Well, except maybe for one who always seemed   
to find fault.  
  
"Oh, so I see our great grandma still has her strange obsession with   
all things foreign. She's even taken it so far as to actually abandon our   
village, the village she's supposedly in charge of, and live abroad."   
Murmuring broke out again, but this time Shampoo was glad it wasn't   
directed toward her, though she found it unsettling that it wasn't entirely   
one-sided. It appeared though that the majority seemed displeased with   
what had been said.   
  
Shampoo's mother took the hint and shrugged her hands in   
submission, "I was just looking forward to hearing my daughter's   
graceful Mandarin, and all I get is this childish barbarian tongue. But if   
our oh so great matriarch says so, it must be, even if it means breaking   
your poor mother's heart, eh?"   
  
"Damn it," thought Shampoo angrily, "Why she always make   
Shampoo feel so much guilty, as if me and Grandma bad guys. SHE   
one should feel guilty. HER training what make Grandma custody   
take." Why was she letting this get to her so much? It probably wasn't   
even happening. Much more likely that the purification herb used in   
this ritual had psychedelic properties than that her ancestors' spirits had   
come to pass judgement on her.   
  
"Oh, you think I'm not real, Shampoo? That this is just a   
hallucination? Then I shouldn't be able to hurt you..."  
  
"No, you hurt Shampoo every time you speak," thought Shampoo.  
  
"I'm sick and tired of your disrespect, child. YAAAA!" With a   
sudden charge Shampoo's mother came at her, sword trailing along the   
ground behind. Even if this was a hallucination, Shampoo wasn't going   
to take any chances, besides, the chance to beat her mother was to   
tempting to resist. Such a simple charge, she'd have expected   
something more subtle from Mom. The only viable attack from it was a   
full arc swing, which while powerful could easily be dodged by   
someone like Shampoo who saw it coming, and then her mother would   
be left wide open. Shampoo decided to duck in low, setting herself up   
to counter with an uppercut. Such a close range attack would put her in   
to close for her mother to effectively use her sword, switching the range   
advantage to Shampoo.  
  
As soon as her mother started to twist her body back to strike,   
Shampoo ducked, and played right into her opponent's hands. As her   
mother's other hand snaked under her black and silver shirt Shampoo   
realized the charge had been a feint. With blinding speed Shampoo's   
mother drew her concealed sword in a battoujitsu* attack which   
Shampoo couldn't dodge.   
  
"What a disappointment you've turned out to be, daughter."   
Shampoo stared in shock at her bleeding right arm, blade imbedded in   
it's ulnar marrow, blade which had been going for her neck before she   
barely blocked it. How could she be bleeding? A psychosomatic   
effect? Or was this really...   
  
Shampoo trembled at how close she'd came to being killed. If   
she'd tried to deflect the attack with her bonbori the slight delay from   
drawing them would have been fatal. Her mother's lack of mass   
seemed to be giving her a deadly speed advantage.   
  
"If you'd have been so pathetic as to have let that blow through,   
you'd have deserved to die," stated Shampoo's mother coolly as she   
removed her weapon from Shampoo's bone and casually flicked the   
blood into the fire, which crackled and hissed pleasurably at the   
offering. "You know I brought this first blade for you, Shampoo,"   
scolded Shampoo's mother as she once again held the sword out toward   
her daughter. "Don't you recognize it? It's the first blade I gave you   
when you were finally strong enough to hold up a real sword. You   
should have known I'd have one of my own blades on me too, stupid   
daughter." Shampoo's mother then planted the sword into the ground   
before her daughter. "As I was saying, this blade is for removing   
obstacles, not you. Now take the sword and fight like a true Amazon!"   
  
Shampoo looked at the blade. Then at her mother, who was waiting   
eagerly in combat stance. Her blood boiled in response and she   
grabbed the hilt of the sword. She'd show her. She was the better one!   
Her mother's lips turned up in a pleased smile. As Shampoo hefted the   
sword a spurt of blood from her wrist landed on the blade. Shampoo   
gasped at the pain holding the sword was causing in her wrist. As she   
gritted her teeth and tried to ignore the pain the blood on the blade   
caught her eye. Her eyes widened in shock as it slowly dripped down   
the blade onto her palm. She let go of the sword in alarm and gazed in   
horror at her blood-stained hand.   
  
Shampoo's mother snarled and advanced on Shampoo, but before   
she could speak or strike Shampoo looked her in the eye and firmly   
said, "No." Her mother was taken aback by her daughter's defiance, so   
Shampoo quickly continued before she could recovered. "Shampoo no   
fight. Shampoo no can win this battle, specially no like that. I already   
hurting. That make Shampoo hurt even much more, if no cost me life."  
  
The elders once again began to murmur. "Coward!" screamed her   
mother in rage. "So you're going to just let go of your obligations to   
our law?! You know our law is what makes us Amazons strong and   
rids us of weakness. Without the law we would degenerate; becoming   
dispersed and dominated like ordinary weak women! If you will not   
fulfill our law then you are weak and it is my duty to rid the Amazons   
of you! Now fight, or you will truly cost yourself your life!" Shampoo   
jumped back as her mother swung at her in fury.   
  
Ducking and dodging, Shampoo tried to keep away from her   
mother's furious blade. Unfortunately she all too quickly found herself   
backed up against the elders. Now that she was closer she saw that they   
too were transparent. Taking a deep breath, Shampoo hoped she'd be   
able to pass right through them, but as she backed up they raised their   
staves and fenced her in; these spirits would see that she faced the law.   
Here she was haunted, hunted, by spirits of the law... spirit of the law...   
!!  
  
Shampoo suddenly turned her back on her mother and faced the   
elders, trying to look as confident as she could. "You listen, oh great   
Spirits of Law. Shampoo will do honor to law." Then she turned and   
faced her seething mother who was holding her blade inches from   
Shampoo's throat. "You say law what make Amazons strong, and you   
right. But you wrong despise outside, for brining back what is best   
from outside what letter law try do to strengthens Amazons. But letter   
law Shampoo no can fulfill." Murmuring arose once again and her   
mother's blade began to press against her flesh. "But Shampoo can   
spirit of law fulfill! Would yous kill Shampoo here, or have Shampoo   
try obey law and gain nothing for tribe... or let Shampoo let go of letter   
law so can fulfill spirit of law and bring back tribe what purpose behind   
law?!"  
  
A great wind suddenly picked up and blew out the fire and engulfed   
the clearing in darkness. After a moment Shampoo realized she'd been   
holding her breath to try and keep her throat from expanding on to her   
mothers blade, which was no longer there. Shampoo sank to the ground   
as she let out her breath in a sigh of relief. The clouds overhead cleared   
and Shampoo could see the stars twinkling clearly above her. Their   
small light revealed that she was once again alone in the clearing.   
  
The starry night sky was so beautiful, Shampoo laid back on the   
grass and just gazed into its infiniteness as silent tears of relief ran   
down her face, to be left in the clearing, left with so many other things,   
when she'd leave at dawn. There was so much to get started on   
tomorrow, but for now, for now she'd lie here and watch the stars.  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
* Ka-san: The common form of mom. Shampoo's mother is doubly   
insulted because Shampoo didn't address her with the upper class   
refined form of mother, Ohawe (spelling may be off) Not particularly   
fair to hold that against Shampoo; it's doubtful her limited knowledge   
of Japanese makes her aware of the distinction.   
  
* Battoujitsu: If you don't know what this means you need to watch   
more Ruroni Kenshin (or at least the Kyoto Arc:) *ahem* The art of   
attacking your opponent off the sword draw. The Japanese actually   
have an entire school of martial arts devoted to killing off the initial   
sword draw. It's very detailed, even down to how to properly flick the   
fresh blood off your blade after you've make the kill (so there's less   
corrosion and the blade lasts longer) 


	2. Chapter 1

Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
*CHRING* Those who lived between the Cat Cafe and the Tendo   
Dojo had long ago come to dread that particular sound which sent them   
instinctively diving for cover. Shampoo paid them no mind as she   
zipped down the street while humming a pleasant ditty that was quite in   
contrast to the panicked screams of those scrambling to avoid what the   
locals referred to in terrified whispers as "The Bicycle of Death." Even   
the motorists went out of there way to avoid the purple haired cyclist,   
for those who dared to challenge the bike's right of way, confident that   
it would yield to their superior size, had discovered themselves the ones   
totaled in the resulting collision, and the bike miraculously unscathed.   
  
Shampoo smirked at the rabbles panic. However unnecessary it   
was, it helped heighten the thrill that made biking so enjoyable. In   
truth, she was the cyclist who posed the least inherent danger to these   
cowardly commoners (indirect danger from panicking pedestrians and   
vehicles was another matter). Her bike and her were like one entity in   
perfect harmony. It's every movement was a perfect reflection of her   
will. No one would be hit, unless, that is, she intended to hit them.   
Speaking of which, she had reached the Tendo Dojo. And on the other   
side of the wall she could hear the angry yells of Akane as she   
demolished defenseless bricks.  
  
Smirking even more, Shampoo carefully aimed her bike toward her   
target and sped straight toward the thick brick wall at what appeared to   
be a suicidal speed. But Shampoo did not splatter against the wall.   
Instead, in apparent disregard to physics, the wall exploded before the   
exuberant amazons charge. Akane heard the wall give way behind her,   
but she knew that meant it was to late to do anything but flinch and   
extend her pinkies/index fingers.   
  
All she felt was something brush quickly through her hair... and then   
nothing?! It took a moment for Akane to realize she hadn't been hit.   
"Wha...?"  
  
"Hehe. Akane should seen face. Shampoo make flinch good!"   
gloated the Amazon, hands on the handlebars that she'd turned to the   
side at the last moment.   
  
"Why you little..." growled Akane as she advanced angrily toward   
Shampoo, then let out an EEP! as the Amazon popped a wheelie that   
came within a hair width of taking off her nose.   
  
"Shampoo gottcha'gin. Akane never learn it seem," laughed the   
Amazon as she teased her hyperventilating rival.   
  
"I'm going to kill that bike!" screamed Akane as she attempted to   
introduce Shampoo's bike to her mallet (her anger level having just   
reached the critical mass needed to summon it). All she hit was air of   
course, the veins popping up all over her head had given Shampoo   
plenty of advance warning. And now Akane had taken the first serious   
swing, which made her fair game; if anyone asked it could be excused   
as self defense. Or rather bike defense.  
  
As Shampoo flipped over Akane the back wheel of the bike collided   
with the back of Akane's skull, knocking her flat on her face. To add   
insult (and more injury) to injury, Shampoo landed the bike on top of   
her fallen foe. "Akane should no threaten bike, even bike fight better   
than Akane. Way to go bike! You teach violent girl lesson good,"   
crooned Shampoo as she patted the handlebar with mock affection.   
  
Whistling a little victory tune, Shampoo started to walk over to the   
house, then stopped as she felt someone staring daggers at her back.   
"D-don't... think... I'm... beat... yet..." snarled Akane as she rose slowly   
to her feet.  
  
"Hmmm. Shampoo give you credit, Akane tougher and dumber   
than me think. When you learn no can beat Shampoo?" Akane knew   
Shampoo was right, but there was no way she was going to hear, or   
accept, it from that bitch. Her fingers curled up into a trembling fist.   
All she asked for was one clean hit. She'd gladly get the crap beat out   
of her if she could just deck that arrogant Amazon's smirking face.   
With a desperate battle cry Akane launched herself at Shampoo.   
  
"Akane?" said Shampoo, slightly concerned, as she evaded blow   
after blow. "Shampoo thinking you taking way to serious."   
  
Taking serious. It was all some game to them, wasn't it? They   
never took her seriously. With each blow that Shampoo casually   
dodged, Akane could feel her anger building. She hated it when they   
toyed with her, just to remind her how inferior she was. Damn it, she   
used to be the Martial Arts Queen of Nerima. Now she was just a joke.   
She'd show them.   
  
"Hmmm. You _is_ serious, neh? Akane have warrior spirit, but   
waste to much time what with breaking bricks..." suddenly Shampoo   
slipped past Akane's fist and the two girls were face to face, "Against   
moving target need aim where going to be, not where is."  
  
Shampoo's words hit Akane full force and momentarily stopped her   
as she blinked in surprise. So that was her mistake. She could break all   
the bricks she wanted and it wouldn't do her a wit of good against agile   
opponents like Shampoo and Ranma. Her problem was none of her   
opponents had ever required her to improve her aim. Her dad had   
became useless for practice years ago because he couldn't fight her for   
real. The mob of boys at school had just been chaff far below her level.   
Kuno was so deluded in his invincibility that he saw no reason to lower   
himself to dodging. And there had been no way in hell that someone   
could miss the dojo destroyer.   
  
But why was Shampoo... "I'm so pathetic that your taking pity on   
me, is that it?" thought Akane angrily. "Your feeling sorry enough for   
weak little Akane that'll you'll stoop to giving her advice, neh? I'll   
show you. "Aim where going to be", right?" Akane stepped back and   
launched a double fisted attack at both sides of Shampoo's head. She   
didn't care that'd it'd leave her wide open. All she wanted to do was   
for once hit that arrogant bitch.   
  
So she was quite disappointed when her two fists landed beside   
Shampoo's face. "Wha... No fair! Y-you... were supposed to... try and   
dodge," sputtered an incredulous Akane at the unmoved Amazon.  
  
"Foooled you!" announced Shampoo as she tapped Akane on the   
forehead with just enough force to knock the overextended girl off   
balance. Akane windmilled her arms in a desperate attempt to right   
herself, but gravity and inertia won out and sent her crashing down into   
the dirt once again. As the dust cleared she was greeted by the sight of   
Shampoo trying (rather unsuccessfully) to hold back her giggles.  
  
Akane still had a dumbfounded expression on her face, but then to   
Shampoo's surprise her lip half curled up into a smirk. "Heh. Okay.   
That was a good one Shampoo, but cheap. HIYAAH!"   
  
Shampoo noted that Akane was trying to track her movements. At   
first her blows were uneven and awkward, as she tried to adjust to the   
different mindset that anticipatory attacks required, but with each   
passing moment they became more rapid and confident. Soon Akane   
was grinning as she unleashed a torrent of fists and feet against   
Shampoo, who actually had to put some effort into her dodging. This   
time Akane's defense wasn't full of holes big enough for Shampoo to   
ram her bike through either.  
  
Finally a split second arrived where Akane realized she knew where   
Shampoo was going to be. "I've got you!" yelled Akane in triumph as   
she unleashed a full force roundhouse.  
  
"Heh. Not bad," huffed Shampoo, a single sweat drop appearing on   
her forehead. It was almost frightening how quickly Akane had   
improved during this short match. "Akane actually make Shampoo   
need block." Panting from exhaustion, Akane stared in disappointment   
at the low block which had countered her roundhouse. Still, she   
couldn't help but feel a little bit of triumph. Wiping the sweat from her   
brow, she looked back up at Shampoo, cautiously smiled, and started   
to open her mouth, but before she could speak Shampoo grabbed her   
ankle and gave her an evil grin. "But Akane no get too cocky," with a   
flick of her wrist, Shampoo sent Akane spinning through the air. "You   
still no where near be hitting Shampoo." Akane's sense of triumph and   
start of a good mood died right there in the dirt. Her skill was still   
nothing next to that jerks!   
  
"Oh. Hello Shampoo-chan. You came over here to play with   
Akane?" asked Kasumi as she came out of the house.   
  
"Hello Kasumi! Shampoo actually here for see mom-in-law. She   
here?"  
  
"Mom-in... oh. She's in the laundry room right now."  
  
"Thanks," said Shampoo as she started to unload the take out cart   
from the back of her bike. Reaching inside she pulled out a sweet bun   
and offered it to Kasumi. "Here. Right before me leave great grandma   
finish batch, so Shampoo bring some over."   
  
"Thank you Shampoo-chan," said Kasumi as she took a bite.   
"Mmmhhh. These are really fresh. Give your great grandmother my   
compliments. Was there something else I saw in there?"   
  
"Hehe. That surprise for Mom-in-law. Hey Akane! You wanting   
sweet bun?" Shampoo asked as she offered one to Akane, who was   
busy trying to brush all the dust off her gi.  
  
"Hell no!" snapped Akane as she slapped Shampoo's hand away.   
"Knowing you, it's probably poisoned or something!"   
  
"Suit self," shrugged Shampoo as she stuffed the bun in her own   
mouth. "Mmmhhhmmhh. Is too to good," enthused Shampoo over her   
shoulder as she walked briskly away from Akane. The Amazon started   
to head toward the house, but then stopped and cocked her ear toward   
her bike. "What that? You no want me leave out here with nasty mean   
violent girl?" Shampoo nodded her head several times and then   
replied, "True, true, she what threatening for to kill you. There, there,   
Shampoo no let violent girl touch you," assured Shampoo as she patted   
the handlebars. "Kasumi, can Shampoo take bike in house?"  
  
"Certainly," replied Kasumi with a smile. Then she leaned over   
toward the bike. "Don't worry bike-san, you can stay on the dining   
room deck. I'll be right across the hall in the kitchen, keeping an eye   
on you."   
  
"Not you too onechan!" protested Akane. "I'd expect this type of   
childish stupidity from Shampoo, but from you..."  
  
"Hush Akane, I can't hear bike-san. What was that? Oh. No, it's   
my pleasure to make sure your safe. Yes, she does have a short   
temper..   
  
"Onechan!!"   
  
"But she's really a good girl. I hope you'll forgive her, you two   
could get along well. Maybe you'll let her ride you some day, neh?"   
Shampoo suddenly went bug eyed. "Oh my, did I say something   
wrong?"   
  
"U-uh. No," replied Shampoo nervously as she tried to figure out if   
there was anything hiding behind Kasumi's innocent smile. Was this   
girl just a naive homemaker, or something much more devious?   
Shampoo hastily decided she was reading far to much into this.   
  
"Honestly, treating that bike like a guest," muttered Akane as   
Shampoo quickly wheeled her bike into the Tendo residence. "I can't   
believe you'd team up against your own sister like that."  
  
"Shampoo's changed, hasn't she?" commented Kasumi as she   
watched the Amazon disappear inside the house.   
  
"Hmph. She's still the same ol childish, arrogant bitch she's always   
been," huffed Akane as she headed toward the house. Tire stains were   
such a pain get out. Best to get her gi in the wash rig... Akane stopped,   
deciding that was the last place she wanted to be right now. Grumbling,   
she turned around and started looking for more concrete blocks to   
smash. 


	3. Chapter 2

Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
Disclaimer: See prologue  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
Nodoka frowned as she took the first outfit from the dryer. Had she   
shrunk the load? It was to small for Akane to wear... except strangely   
enough the chest was to big. But it couldn't be Kasumi's or Nabiki's,   
they were far to tall for it. And none of the other clothes gave any   
indication of having been shrunk. But this was definitely a girl's outfit.   
So who did it belong to? Shampoo could hear the gears slowly grinding   
away even through the wall.   
  
"Nihao!" greeted Shampoo as she slid open the door to the laundry   
room.  
  
"Ah! This must be yours!" said Nodoka with relief as she thrust the   
outfit at a confused Amazon. The chest was about the right size,   
thought the dress still seemed a little short. But on further examination   
of Shampoo's current attire, Nodoka concluded that the Amazon would   
have no compunctions about wearing a _very_ short skirt. "You came   
here to pick up your clothes, didn't you? Is there anything else of yours   
in here?"   
  
"What you talk about? No Shampoo laundry here."  
  
"Wash laundry with shampoo? Don't worry, I used normal   
detergent, so your cloths should be fine. Do they really use shampoo on   
clothes where you come from?"  
  
"No! Shampoo Shampoo!"   
  
"Uh..."  
  
Shampoo sweatdropped as she realized agitation was causing her to   
forget her pronouns; it took a conscious effort to use them, they just   
didn't seem to come naturally. Once again she tried; "Shampoo me!"  
  
"Um, you want me to wash your hair?" Perhaps the Amazons got to   
know strangers by exchanging a hair wash. Mrs. Saotome had heard   
that their customs were pretty strange, but for some reason no one ever   
wanted to elaborate on them. No one had seemed to want to elaborate   
on the Amazon's relationship to this household either, though Mrs.   
Saotome got the sense that there was some sort of connection between   
her son and this girl. It would be a good chance to find out just what   
was going on, and also get an outside view of Ranma. Plus, her hair did   
look like it would be fun to do up. It was so long and beautiful. "Well,   
I suppose we could do that, the bathroom's just over there," said Mrs.   
Saotome as she headed to the nearby door.   
  
"...." Shampoo helplessly followed Mrs. Saotome into the   
bathroom. So far she was _not_ making the first impression she'd   
hoped for.   
  
"The last time we met you were so busy leveling my house that we   
didn't really get to talk," said Nodoka as she unfastened her obi.   
  
Now Shampoo remembered; she'd already made a much worse   
impression. "eh... heh," laughed Shampoo nervously as she began to   
disrobe, "yeah, I guess Shampoo, _crazy flower girl_, and _Ukyo_ got   
little bit carried away, sorry bout that," apologized Shampoo,   
emphasizing that there _had_ been other girls there too, though   
admittingly her tendency to go through walls as if they weren't there   
probably was what had caused the house to collapse. "When we's fight   
over Ranma it get out of hand."  
  
"Oh. That's what it was all about... so are you all Ranma's   
girlfriend or something? *sigh* I guess my sons so manly that woman   
can't help but fight over him," beamed Nodoka with pride as she filled   
up a wash bucket.  
  
"Uh, could you hot water use. Me no like cold water. And we's all   
Ranma fianc‚, excepting crazy flower girl," explained Shampoo as she   
removed her purple lingerie and tossed them atop her pile of clothes.  
  
Nodoka conveniently dropped the wash bucket full of cold water in   
shock. "D-did you say fianc‚'s?" The wash bucket took advantage of   
this distraction and started scooting toward Shampoo's clothes. "T-  
that's impossible. Ranma's already got..."  
  
"Akane? But also got Ukyo and me. Ranma too to many fianc‚'s   
have. Is quiet the problem," said Shampoo as Nodoka emptied a wash   
bucket of hot water over her. The other wash bucket stopped it's   
scooting to momentarily admire the rivulets of water as they coursed   
down Shampoo's beautiful and buxom body.  
  
"Wait, Ukyo's a guy's name, right?! Even if he's sometimes got a   
girl's body, Ranma can't possibly consider some other guy a fianc‚, can   
he? asked a trembling Nodoka. Shampoo started when she noticed that   
a sheathed katana had somehow made it's way into Mrs. Saotome's   
hands.   
  
"Yeah, Ukyo very much bad match, sure Ranma is no interested,"   
assured Shampoo as she warily eyed the trembling katana. The wash   
bucket eyed the katana nervously too as it continued stealthily scooting   
across the bathroom floor.  
  
"Of course not," agreed Nodoka with a sigh of relief. "So that just   
leaves you and Akane. Who are you again?" asked Nodoka as   
Shampoo unbound her hair and let it cascade onto the tile floor.   
Nodoka couldn't help but her run her hand through the fine purple mass   
in admiration.   
  
"Shampoo!" explained Shampoo for the third time.  
  
"Oh, right!" said an embarrassed Nodoka as she realized her   
admiration of this girl's hair had caused her to momentarily zone out   
and hold things up. These Amazons certainly were impatient, or   
perhaps she was just agitated by the presence of the katana, which   
Nodoka just now realized she was holding. Blushing, Nodoka quickly   
reached behind her, and when her hand reappeared it held a bottle of   
lavender shampoo instead, which she immediately worked up into a   
generous lather and began vigorously applying to Shampoo's scalp,   
causing her to sigh with pleasure. Seeing as the girl seemed receptive   
now, Nodoka began as gently as she could, "I'm afraid Akane's claim   
surely predates yours; our two houses were pledged to unite before   
Ranma was even born."   
  
"True, but age alone no mean best necessarily. I is young, but best   
of amazon warriors* and their Champion. And Akane no by law bound   
for marry Ranma like I is. If Akane no is marry Ranma nothing to her   
happen, but me is to be punished when fail Ranma win."   
*the warriors are a separate cast from the elders  
  
"Law? Punishment?" asked a concerned Nodoka. This was   
looking like it wouldn't be so easy to resolve.   
  
"Is Amazon way marry strong... manly man," Shampoo was   
pleased to note that her careful choice of words had the desired affect of   
pleasing Nodoka. "If outsider man defeat we's to marry. Keeps tribe   
strong."   
  
"Very eugenic, but effective. What happens to those who break the   
law, I'm sure some of your poor maidens get engaged to brutes they   
find repulsing."  
  
"Hehheh. You's speakings from own experience? OW! Is joking!   
Shampoo joking!" Yelped Shampoo as Mrs. Saotome stumbled across   
a snarl in the amazon's hair. "Some grooms is very repulsive. Great   
Grandma say husband most repulsive little creep imaginable, she get rid   
of as soon as pregnant." Fortunately for the washing bucket, no one   
was looking it's way when it's surface erupted in engorged veins.   
  
"Poor thing. Wasn't she punished by the tribe for that?" asked   
Nodoka as she took down the detachable shower head and began to   
rinse out Shampoo's hair.  
  
"Actually, tribe help get rid of little troll, so no could give more   
than slap on wrist to Grandma. Rare is law breaking, so case by case   
punishment can council make," said Shampoo proudly as she tilted her   
head from side to side, savoring that feeling of cleanliness left in the   
shampoo's wake. "But punishment for no marry must be severe for   
keep Amazons from disregard."  
  
"How severe?" asked Nodoka, not sure she really wanted to know.   
  
"Saw one woman of womanhood stripped."  
  
"...By stripped of womanhood you surely don't mean...?" asked   
Nodoka, fairly certain now that she did _not_ want to know, and yet   
morbidly curious.   
  
"Hysterectomy and... and r-removal of.."   
  
"HOW BARBARIC!" Interrupted Nodoka hastily before Shampoo   
could finish. Mrs. Saotome couldn't help but feel a little sympathetic   
for this girl. She was tough, but hadn't quite managed to keep fear over   
her possible fate from creeping into her tone, and Nodoka could hardly   
blame her. "It'd be a shame if such a bright and beautiful girl as you   
didn't get to have any children."  
  
Shampoo smirked at the success of her feigned fear. While the   
thought of what the council would do to her if she were put on trial   
today was not a pleasant one, she seriously doubted they'd carry it so   
far. While she wasn't very popular in the tribe, as the other unfortunate   
amazon had been, she had honestly attempted to win Ranma over, while   
the other amazon had preferred murdering to marrying her groom, but   
there was no need to bother Mrs. Saotome with all the little details.   
"Yes, too to tragic if happen. *sniff* Great shame to Amazon for be   
childless," sniffed Shampoo as she placed her smiling face in her hands   
for added effect. The stage was being set more perfectly than she'd   
dared to hope for.   
  
  
End of Chapter 2  
Please send C&C to caleb_david@angelfire.com 


	4. Chapter 3

Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
Disclaimer: See prologue  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
"There, there," consoled Nodoka as she lightly held the sniffling   
Amazon. "You said your people judge on a case by case basis, right?   
I'm sure you could persuade them to be more lenient with you. You've   
tried your best to honor your law. It's not your fault that Ranma will be   
marrying Akane; it's only natural for him to give more weight to a   
promise made by his family than to some alien law, for promises and   
family honor are as binding as law to us Japanese. I understand that   
your bound by honor to continue pursuing Ranma until he makes his   
choice clear, but surely you and your tribe can understand that Akane's   
claim has greater sanctioning of tradition. Ranma's duty is first to his   
native Japanese tradition, in which arranged marriages have a long   
precedent."  
  
Shampoo couldn't resist taking a shot at this edifice of tradition.   
"Ranma feeling matter any? Shampoo think he should marry for love,   
not obligation. But if that way you judge, fine. Ranma then need be   
marrying Ukyo, since Ranma Dad already what take and use up dowry,   
while Ranma not yet received Dojo. Certainly "tradition sanction"   
engagement which dowry already taken for than one that not. neh?"   
  
"... OHOHO! Did I say obligation was the sole deciding factor?   
After all, it takes a strong man to choose love over tradition, right?"   
laughed Mrs. Saotome nervously. Then, as she drew her katana, her   
face became deadly serious. "GGENMAA!"  
  
Grabbing Nodoka before she could go on the warpath, Shampoo   
blurted out, "Panda thief not here right now!" hoping that it wasn't a lie.   
"Beside, Shampoo need tell reason came. I willing let go claim to   
Ranma if he help fulfill spirit of the law so tribe on me go easy." That   
got Mrs. Saotome's attention.   
  
"Ranma... Ranma love Akane, not me," this time Shampoo didn't   
need to feign her sadness. "So... no get in way. But no can afford go   
home empty handed again. Already broke law once for save Ranma   
life. Tribe be extra harsh if I completely fail again."  
  
"Broke a law... to save Ranma's life? Sounds likes there's quite a   
story there. Here, lets move to the hot tub for it. I need to relax. On   
my sons' wedding day, I realized his life was complicated, but I'm only   
starting to realize just how," sighed Nodoka as she and the amazon   
settled into the steaming bath.   
  
Shampoo, sensing Mrs. Saotome was preoccupied, decided to just   
enjoy the bliss of the moment instead of fret it away going over what   
she'd say next. Nodoka felt slightly envious at how quickly the   
amazon's sadness melted away with a pleasured sigh. In general,   
civilized adults, who spend so much neurotic time in the past and   
future, envy youths and tribal people their effortless ease of being in the   
now.   
  
Following the amazon's example, Mrs. Saotome tried to relax and   
gather her wits. Here was a chance to help Ranma out and bring some   
order to the chaos which had rent in pieces the first wedding attempt.   
Hopefully, if she played it right, there'd be a win-win situation for   
everyone. They'd just have to pay Ukyo back for whatever the dowry   
had been. Somehow. Family finances were one of the last things   
Nodoka wanted to think about right now, especially with college   
expenses for Ranma looming. Perhaps Ukyo's honor would be satisfied   
with the dowry thief committing seppuku, thought Mrs. Saotome   
darkly. On the other hand, pandas were rare animals these days. How   
much would a zoo pay for one healthy adult male? ...but now was not   
the time to be thinking about that. She had to focus on the situation at   
hand. After taking a moment to really relax, Nodoka prompted   
Shampoo to continue; "You mentioned something about another law?"   
  
"Colliery of first law. If outsider female defeats, must kill her. But   
no could bring self to kill Ranma. Loved to much, even though he trick   
me and say true form girl," Shampoo couldn't quite keep a hint of   
bitterness from creeping into her tone. "Even though must then face   
great shame and punishment before tribe."  
  
"Ranma pretended he was really a girl?" said a concerned Mrs.   
Saotome. "But if he was a real man then you wouldn't have had to kill   
him. There has to be something I'm missing here."  
  
"Um... well... Ranma worried I might kill Akane," explained   
Shampoo uncomfortably, "'cause she in way of us getting married."  
  
"Would you have?" Shampoo gulped like a deer caught in the   
headlights of Nodoka's point blank question. As Mrs. Satome stared   
intently at her, Shampoo wished she'd never tried to score some extra   
points by bringing this up.   
  
"No! ... well, maybe, back then might have... not sure..." whispered   
Shampoo as she looked down at the ripples her fidgeting fingers were   
sending through the water. Then she turned desperately toward Mrs.   
Saotome. "But no do something like that now! Would just make   
Ranma hate Shampoo, maybe even kill." Shampoo shuddered,   
remembering that final, terrible battle against Saffron. Once again she   
found her self fascinated by the ripples playing upon the bath's surface.   
"And... and Akane good person. No would wish kill anyway. Want   
think back then only showing serious so Akane back off or Ranma   
marry to protect her... but I might have... if he no dash wedding   
prospects by showing really same girl I need kill."  
  
"Oh, how manly! I never should have doubted you, Ranma!   
Standing up for your engagement and protecting your fianc‚, even at   
the risk of your own life."  
  
Shampoo found the courage to look back up at Mrs. Saotome as she   
hastily added, "Yeah, yeah. But I unable to kill. Thought I could, but   
couldn't bring self to hurt her. So maybe no been able to kill her   
either... k-kinda respected her strength... And what about Ranma   
mom?! Hear you kill son if he no manly!" As soon as the accusation   
had left her mouth, Shampoo wished she'd for once kept her   
impulsiveness in check. Bowing, Shampoo quickly apologized, "Sorry!   
No meant that way it sound. Is family business, not mine. Amazons   
too are harsh in making family strong."  
  
"No, I asked a very personal question. It's only natural that you felt   
defensive. My apologies for interrogating you when I've only just   
made your acquaintance. Your honesty is refreshing and I appreciate it.   
And your right, once I too believed that honor required Ranma to die,   
but I loved him and so let him off with a rather lame demonstration of   
manliness as my excuse. Perhaps your tribe's values and mine aren't so   
far apart. We both want our children to be strong and honorable. So   
you can understand why I'm trying to learn more about the girl who   
want's to have my grandchild, right?"   
  
Shampoo blinked in surprise. She'd underestimated Mrs. Saotome.   
During this conversation her brain must have been cranking away on   
what Shampoo wanted from her son. Perhaps she was a little slow on   
the uptake, but given enough time she could figure things out. And if   
the way Mrs. Saotome's eyes gleamed at the mention of a "grandchild"   
was any indication, she was amenable to the idea. That was a relief,   
Shampoo had been worried for a moment that she'd blown it.   
  
"That way both parties save face. Ranma can still marry Akane,   
and you can bring our strong blood back to your tribe, who'll surely go   
easy on you since that's the main purpose behind your law. Oh, he'll be   
such a cute little grandson! You'll have to promise to keep in touch and   
visit occasionally!" squealed Mrs. Saotome as she clasped Shampoo's   
hand and radiated sparkly joy all over the bathroom at the thought of   
how adorable her grandchild by this beautiful amazon and her oh so   
handsome son would be. It can be scary how worked up mothers get   
over the prospects of grandchildren, particularly those who missed out   
on raising their own child.   
  
"Ok, ok. I is promise," said Shampoo, slightly intimidated. "But   
not just that I after. Also want Ranma for train me in Anything Goes   
Martial Arts. Could also Ranma teach amazon techniques why we's at   
it."  
  
"I see. Your tribe takes in new fighting styles as well as blood.   
This'll be good practice for Ranma. After all, when he grows up, he'll   
be making his living passing on our families' school of martial arts.   
And your plan will give Ranma a good excuse for practicing his   
manliness too, neh?" said Nodoka with a wink. Leaning in closer to the   
blushing amazon, Mrs. Saotome whispered conspiratorially. "You'll   
want to be discreet of course. I've noticed Akane has a tendency to get   
a bit jealous." With that understatement, Mrs. Saotome rose from the   
bath in a much better mood than when she'd entered it.   
  
She'd helped clear the way for her son's marriage and given him a   
great opportunity to demonstrate his manliness. Not that it was in doubt   
(even if he was a crossdresser...), but still, it was a little disheartening   
that since she'd moved in she hadn't once observed Ranma going out   
on a date with Akane or even making out with her when they thought no   
one was watching. But they were probably just being even more   
discreet than her. Surely Ranma had an interest in girls... Letting such   
troubling thoughts go, Mrs. Saotome started to comb out Shampoo's   
long hair and preoccupied herself with debating over how she was   
going to style it.   
  
"Thanks for blessing, Mrs. Saotome," bowed Shampoo as she sat up   
on the edge of the bath.   
  
"No need to be so formal now that we know each other. You can   
call me Auntie Saotome, all the other girls here do. And thank you for   
being so mature about this. I'm sure everything will work out fine for   
you. By the way, I don't think I caught your name...?"  
  
"Name is..."  
  
Suddenly an argument from outside reached a level that was clearly   
audible even in the bathroom.   
"I'm an idiot, am I? I'll spar with whomever the hell I want to, you   
jerk!"  
"I can't believe I let my self get concerned over a stupid uncute   
tomboy like you!"  
*SMACK* *SLAM* *SPLASH*  
  
"Ranma back!" squealed Shampoo as she jumped up in excitement,   
heart aflutter. It'd been over a week since she'd last seen him, and   
would be the first since her new resolution. This would be her chance   
at a new relationship with him; hopefully they'd be able to get off on   
the right foot this time. To be honest, Shampoo didn't expect Ranma to   
be as sympathetic and understanding as his mother, but that could also   
be used to her advantage if need be. Given time, he'd surely forgive   
her past manipulations and start to like her. It really hurt, the   
realization that he actually seemed to dislike her. But today she'd make   
a new impression. Yes, today she'd... "HEY! Where Shampoo's   
panties go!"  
  
Despite how rewarding it had been, the wash-bucket was beginning   
to think that sticking around had been a bad idea. Particularly   
considering Shampoo was now pulling a pair of bonbori from her pile   
of clothes. Funny, the wash-bucket didn't remember those being there.   
The amazon had her eyes closed, and the wash-bucket felt, too late, her   
aura probing the room. So much for sneaking out. Looked like it was   
time for the back up plan, flip the shower knob.   
  
As soon as the first bonbori was sent through the air the wash-  
bucket leapt for it's target, bouncing off the top of the second bonbori   
on the way. At the same time the door to the bath slid open...  
  
"Stupid tomboy, she didn't have to dunk me in the koi pond too..."   
*smack*  
  
"AIYAHH! Sorry Ranma, no was aiming for... AIYAHH! IS   
COLD!  
  
"AAAAHHHH! CAT! CAT! CCCAAAAATTT!"  
  
*KSHINK* "RANMA! Your acting unmanly! Stop this at once!"  
  
"MMEOWOROW!" (left untranslated by the censors)   
  
So much for getting off on the right foot...   
  
  
To be continued...   
Please send C&C to caleb_david@angelfire.com 


	5. Chapter 4

Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
  
  
Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creation and property of   
Takahashi-sama and various other entities. I'm just borrowing them   
without permission. I promise to put them all back when I'm done...   
except possibly for Shampoo:)  
C&C may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
Halting her chopping at the red head of arugula, Kasumi eyed the   
dark clouds gathering overhead. Looked like a storm was coming.   
Outside, the wind picked up and began tossing the stray leaves in the   
yard about with its capricious currents.   
  
Oblivious to all of this, Akane continued pummeling her pigtailed   
straw man mercilessly. As she stepped back to deliver the final side   
kick, a scream broke out. It was a scream of pure terror, as if someone   
were confronting their darkest nightmare in the flesh. The scream   
suddenly cut off as Akane's foot tore through the straw man's chest,   
and for one chilling moment Kasumi could have sworn he... it, she   
meant it... had been the one screaming. But that couldn't be. The wind   
must have carried that dreadful sound from elsewhere.  
  
Shivering slightly, Kasumi leaned out the window and called to her   
younger sister. "I think that's enough, Akane. There's a storm coming,   
so you'd best come in."  
  
"Hai, Onesan. Let me put this dummy away first. I wouldn't want   
the rain to ruin him," replied Akane, pulling her foot from the hole in   
`his' chest.  
  
I'd better get things out of the rain too, thought Kasumi as she   
brought in her potted herbs from the window sill and closed the   
window. Strange, it'd seemed like it was going to be nice and bright   
today. But life was like that sometimes, light one moment, dark and   
foreboding the next. You just had to take it as it came and batten down   
the hatches, thought Kasumi as she moved from room to room, closing   
all the windows.  
  
In the dining room, Kasumi found her other sister lying in front of   
the TV. "Seen Shampoo recently?" asked Kasumi as she wheeled the   
amazon's bike into the dining room proper and then slid shut the door   
to the porch.   
  
"Yeah, how'd you know?" mumbled Nabiki between mouthfuls of   
sweetbun. "Looks like she and Auntie Saotome are waiting around in   
the laundry room. Something strange is going on though. Shampoo's   
her usual cheerful self, but Ranma's Mom certainly isn't. Bet she's   
_just_ found out about her son's multiple engagements, considering   
how those two jerks keep her in the dark. The shit's really going to hit   
the fan though if she ever finds out the details about Ukyo's   
engagement. It'll be fun watching Genma try and worm his way out of   
that."  
  
"Now Nabiki, it's not nice to take pleasure in the misfortune of   
others, even if they do deserve it. I doubt it'll be a problem," said   
Kasumi with a smile, "but would you mind keeping an eye on Mr. Bike   
for me and making sure Akane doesn't hurt him while I'm closing the   
windows upstairs?"  
  
"Since when are we running a free parking garage?"  
  
"Nabiki..."  
  
"All right. All right. I'll consider the sweetbun as payment.   
Wouldn't want word getting out that I did a freebie. I've got a   
reputation to maintain, you know."  
  
Sighing over her sister's mercenaryism, Kasumi headed for the   
stairs. But before she could ascend she was stopped short by a sight   
that made her eyes widen in shock. Happosai... was down on all fours   
and scrubbing the steps. Either this was a sign that the End was nigh...   
or the old pervert expected Shampoo to be passing this way shortly.   
She really should have a talk with that girl about wearing pants.   
  
"Hello Oji-san. It's so nice of you to be helping out."  
  
"Oh, thanks Kasumi-chan," said Happosai self consciously as he   
scratched the back of his neck. Then, to Kasumi's surprise, he became   
serious. "Say, is that lazy good-for-nothing disciple of mine around?"  
  
"Mr. Saotome? I think he's in his room. Why?"  
  
"Oh, I just need him to make himself useful and get me some   
supplies. That's all. Here," said Happosai as he thrust a folded up   
piece of paper toward Kasumi. "Please give this to him right away. I'd   
do it myself if I weren't so busy. Well, what are you waiting for?!"   
Happosai snapped impatiently as Kasumi fixed him with her innocent   
gaze. A slight cough was her only reply. "Oh." Blushing, Happosai   
stood up (not that it made much difference) and looked the other way as   
Kasumi took the list and headed up the stairs unmolested.   
  
Once she was out of site, Kasumi peeked at the list. Looked like   
Happosai wanted sake, tobacco, fireworks, and the latest Victoria's   
Secret catalog. Not that she could actually read the Master's   
handwriting, but some things were just a given. What she couldn't   
deduce, using the number and rough shape of the kanji, was the note in   
big bold red that took up all the space below the list. Oh well,   
hopefully Mr. Saotome could decipher the message. It looked   
important.  
  
* * *  
  
Wiping the sweat from her brow, Akane slid open the dojo door   
and tossed her straw man roughly inside.  
  
"I can't believe I let myself get concerned over a stupid uncute   
tomboy like you!"  
  
Well, he head been concerned, admitted Akane as she gently   
repositioned the pigtailed straw man more comfortably in the corner.   
He just didn't have to be such an overprotective jerk about it, thought   
Akane as she started patching the dummy's chest up with spare straw.   
Maybe she should've just tossed him into the koi pond instead of   
knocking him head first into one of the bordering rocks.   
  
Hurrying back into the house, Akane headed for the laundry room.   
Much to her chagrin, she could hear Shampoo's annoying sing song   
tone issuing forth from it. She'd hoped that the amazon would have   
finished her business with Ranma's mother by now. But apparently   
they were still at it, as Akane could hear Nodoka laughing along with   
Shampoo at whatever had just been said.   
  
Great. Those two seemed to be hitting it off. What if that little   
vixen was trying to convince Ranma's mom that she'd make a better   
wife?! After all, she was prettier, more graceful, and a better cook.   
Akane wouldn't put it past Shampoo to be badmouthing her behind her   
back. Maybe they were even laughing at _her_. Akane put her ear to   
the laundry room door, but the noise from the dryer frustrated her   
attempt to eavesdrop. Thinking she heard her name, Akane leaned in   
even closer...   
  
And suddenly fell forward, landing at the feet of the amazon who'd   
thrown open the door. "*tsk* Akane no ever make good spy with anger   
aura big enough sense all way over in China." Akane looked up in   
embarrassment, which increased at her view up Shampoo's pantyless   
miniskirt.   
  
Miniskirt?! What the hell was that bimbo doing in Ranma's   
miniskirt? Akane's embarrassment turned into fury. That... that... slut!   
Changing out of her bra and panties and into such a shameless outfit as   
soon as Ranma got back! Even for Shampoo, this was a new low. Each   
step the amazon took back toward Nodoka caused the peek a boo skirt   
to sway revealing in concert with her hips and breasts.   
  
"Hello, Akane-chan," greeted Auntie Saotome, in an   
uncharacteristically somber tone that seemed to confirm her suspicion   
that Shampoo was spreading malicious gossip behind her back. There   
also was a hard edge to her green eyes which complemented her   
emerald earrings...??! So that bitch was stooping to bribery now?! But   
surely Mrs. Saotome wouldn't be bought off like that husband of hers.   
  
Still, they did look pretty expensive, worried Akane as she started   
changing out of her dirty uniform. Then she noticed what should have   
jumped out at her when she first entered the room; Mrs. Saotome was   
carrying her katana around again. And it wasn't even wrapped up in   
it's ceremonial cloth. Uh oh. That couldn't be a good sign. She'd   
better warn Ranma. It was unforgivable that Shampoo was stirring   
things up with his mother! Ranma had gone through so much to get   
past the seppuku contract and reunite with her.   
  
"Shampoo, I was wondering..."  
  
"Yes, _Auntie_ Saotome?" said Shampoo, loudly enough for   
Akane, who was loading up the washer, to hear.   
  
"Well, since you got your curse, have you... well... felt as if you've   
become a bit more... um... cat like?" Shampoo noted with   
disappointment that her attempts to cheer Auntie Saotome up had worn   
off and she was back to her pensive mood she'd been in ever since   
Ranma had walked in on them.   
  
"Shampoo no think curses work like..." Suddenly Shampoo's ears   
perked up. Before Ranma could even close the door behind him   
Shampoo had pounced and was nuzzling up to her surprised prey with   
felicitous purrs. Nodoka sighed. Ranma started to open his mouth in   
protest. And Akane sent the most at hand objects through the air.  
  
Shampoo barely backed off in time to avoid being hit. Bleah! No   
way she going back to nuzzling that dirty pile of laundry! Lowering the   
soiled gi from his face, Ranma glared in annoyance toward the direction   
from which it'd came. "Thanks Akane. So much for that bath I just   
took. How about ya try wearing some deodorant before ya work out?   
This tomboy sweat of yours stinks worse than the boys locker room."   
  
Covering her chest in embarrassment, Akane wished she'd thrown   
the washer instead. "Whatcha so mad about anyway? It's not like I   
care about seeing your flat chest, specially with Shampoo here. I mean,   
if I was gonna check out a girl, I'd ignore ya for Shampoo. She's got a   
lot sexier sense of style. Speaking of which Shampoo, why are ya   
wearing m..." fortunately for Ranma, he never got to finish asking   
Shampoo his question. Unfortunately, this was due to Akane grabbing   
the sleeves of her gi and choking him from behind. Didn't that idiot   
realize his mother was here?! Or was he just to busy "checking out"   
Shampoo?   
  
"Well excuuuse me that unlike you and Shampoo, I don't dress like   
a slut, you pervert!" With a burst of strength, Akane hoisted her   
gasping victim into the air and slammed him head first into the washer's   
raised lid behind her. Momentarily stunned, he was unable to stop   
Akane from using her uniform to tie him up against the agitator.   
  
"What the hell do ya think your doing, ya idiot!" yelled Ranma as   
he regained his bearings and struggled against his bonds.   
  
"Sounded from all your bitching like you needed another bath,"   
replied Akane with a smile as she slammed the washer lid on Ranma's   
face. "So let me help you get out all that `stinking tomboy sweat,' said   
Akane, voice dripping with false sweetness as she started up the wash.  
  
"Aiya. Violent girl go off deep end again," murmured Shampoo as   
she watched the washer lurch desperately from side to side.   
  
"Aw, is the water to cold for poor little Ranma-chan? Here, maybe   
_this_ will help you take it like a man," taunted Akane as she set the   
water temperature to the max. Satisfied with the scream of pain her   
action caused, Akane headed off to take her own bath. Shampoo   
wasted no time in shutting off the washer and fishing a half drowned   
and very dizzy Ranma out.   
  
"Ranma should be more careful what say round Akane, neh?"  
  
"Shut up. This is all your fault for glomping onto me anyway.   
Why can't ya cut that crap out?"  
  
Shampoo looked hurt for a moment, but that quickly changed as   
she grabbed Ranma by the scruff of his collar. "Shampoo hug cause   
missed you and was happy see you, but now wonder why. Ranma jerk   
obviously no miss Shampoo!"  
  
"Shampoo..." Ranma could tell her shimmering eyes were holding   
back tears. Coarse as he was, even Ranma knew it was a sin to make a   
girl cry. The only problem was he, as usual, didn't know what to say.   
He _hadn't_ missed her. But saying so would be suicide.   
  
"Know what Shampoo think? Akane on right track. Now Ranma   
is all wet, so needs get dry!"  
  
"Ack! Cut it out Shampoo! Leggo!" yelped Ranma as he resisted   
the angry amazons attempts to stuff him in the dryer.   
  
*ahem* The two instantly stopped their fighting as Mrs. Saotome   
stepped partially out of the shadows from which she'd quietly been   
observing Ranma. No matter what angle she replayed his conduct from,   
she couldn't get it to come out looking very manly. "I believe Shampoo   
came here with a proposition for you, son. Perhaps you should do her   
the honor of hearing her out."  
  
"Uh, yeah. I could do that..." said Ranma nervously. His mother's   
face was still obscured in shadows, making her hard to read. But there   
was something about her tone that was raising red flags. Whatever was   
going on, he'd better take it seriously, even though he'd rather brush   
Shampoo off as quickly as possible if it were entirely up to him.  
  
"Good. You two can go on ahead to our room. I'll be up shortly   
with some tea." As she passed by her son, she whispered in an almost   
pleading tone, "Don't disappoint me Ranma."   
  
Staring after his mother in bewilderment, Ranma wished he had a   
clue what the hell she was talking about. It almost sounded like one   
wrong move could result in seppuku. "All right Shampoo, let us retire   
to my families quarters where we may more leisurely discuss this   
proposition of yours. Ladies first," said Ranma loudly, gagging   
inwardly on what he hoped were manly lines.  
  
Sure, it was corny, _and_ insincere, but Shampoo couldn't help   
relishing Ranma's chivalry just a bit. "Teehee. Ranma _so_ suave,"   
giggled Shampoo as she headed out of the laundry room.  
  
"I am? Really?! Yatta! Um... suave's a good thing, right?" asked   
Ranma, completely ruining the effect. In the hallway Nodoka put her   
hand to her face in shame.   
  
"Sshh idiot! Mother right down hallway."  
  
Sweatdropping, Ranma followed Shampoo out of the laundry room   
and peeked behind him. There was his Mom, looking hopefully over   
her shoulder as she slowly headed toward the kitchen. He couldn't let   
his Mother down. There had to be something manly he could do to   
redeem himself!  
  
Remembering how his Mother had considered peeping manly,   
Ranma resigned himself to checking out Shampoo's rear. To his   
surprise, and embarrassment, he found the view more captivating than   
he would have thought. Having had the distasteful experience himself   
of being ogled, Ranma had made it a point of honor to try and not look   
at girls in that perverted kind of way.   
  
So this was the first time he realized how hypnotizing the back and   
forth sway of feminine hips could be. Or how seductive was that wink   
when delectable derriere met tempting thigh. Especially when said   
derriere and hips belonged to a girl graced with such sensual curves as   
Shampoo, whom, unlike Ranma, enjoyed being ogled, at least, that is, if   
it was by Ranma.   
  
Savoring the feel of Ranma's eyes upon her butt (it took no special   
amazon honed senses to detect this; most women have developed a   
defensive intuition that warns them when a guy is staring), Shampoo   
slowed down and began to strut her stuff. As long as her ass had an   
audience, it might as well put on a show. "Something wrong Ranma?"   
giggled Shampoo as her former fiance gulped.   
  
"N-no," replied a furiously blushing Ranma as he thought the   
opposite; there must be something wrong with him that this was having   
such an effect on him. He wanted to look away, but dared not in case   
his mother was still watching, or at least that's what he tried to tell   
himself. In his haste to get out of the hallway, Ranma nearly ran over   
Shampoo. Damn it, couldn't that stupid bimbo move her ass?! (could   
she ever! But he meant forward, not pivoting, up and down, or side to   
side)   
  
Now he was even closer to that annoyingly absorbing ass of hers.   
So close... and so absorbing that he forgot to be annoyed, in fact, forgot   
near everything else save those two perfectly round glutes before him.   
So close... that he could reach out and touch them if he wanted...  
  
Ranma stopped his trembling hand halfway. "Cmon Ranma," he   
thought, "If your going to do this... do it like a MAN!"  
  
"AIYA! Ooh, Ranma cut that out," protested Shampoo   
unconvincingly as she wiggled around weakly enough to not quite get   
away. "No should do this here. What if someone see?"   
  
"Duh. Why the hell do you think I'm doing this?!"  
  
"Because your a pervert?" Ranma turned toward Nabiki's voice   
just in time to be blinded by the flash from her camera...  
  
  
  
Thank God, I've reached a point where I can end this chapter! Now to   
go take a cold shower. To be continued as soon as I get out... 


	6. Chapter 5

Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
  
Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creation and property of   
Takahashi-sama and various other entities. I'm just borrowing them   
without permission. I promise to put them all back when I'm done...   
except possibly for Shampoo:)  
C&C may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
"Aw crap, _you're_ not supposed to be the one who sees," groaned   
Ranma, one hand holding his forehead in angst, the other holding the   
incriminating pose captured by Nabiki's camera.  
  
"*tsk* *tsk* Boy, I wonder what everyone will say when they get a   
load of this, especially my poor little sister."   
  
"Aiya. Is greedy capitalist pig girl. She is blackmailing you good,   
neh?"   
  
"Look Nabiki, this is serious. Is my Mom spying on us right now?"   
  
"Yeah right. I suppose you expect me to believe that the _only_   
reason your doing this is to show your Mom just what a manly man you   
are?" said Nabiki in disgust to a desperately nodding Ranma. "Sorry   
kiddo, I ain't buying it. But if you want to buy the negative, pay me a   
visit this evening and I'll see what I can arrange."  
  
"Oooh. Make copy for Shampoo buy first!"  
  
"Shampoo! What do ya think your doing?!"  
  
"Hmm. I suppose I could head over to the one hour photo once   
this storm clears, that'll cost you extra of course. You know, since I'll   
be getting duplicates, I think I'll just go ahead and keep the second   
copy for myself; there's a real nice pant bulge in it."  
  
"There is?!" exclaimed Shampoo with excitement as she quickly   
backed up into a red faced Ranma. "Aiya! You is right. Is rreeall nice.   
Take picture quick," giggled Shampoo as she prevented Ranma from   
backing away by repaying, in kind, his earlier "complement" of her   
figure. Nabiki didn't hesitate to double the payoff from this little photo   
op.   
  
"1000 yen, Nabiki," said Ranma through clenched teeth. "Is my   
Mom watching?"   
  
[Boy, he's actually serious, isn't he?] thought Nabiki. "Sold. She   
just went into the kitchen." Before Nabiki had even finished her   
sentence, Ranma ripped Shampoo off of him and angrily shoved her   
away. Perhaps he wasn't trying to fool around behind Akane's back.   
Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt, Nabiki adjusted the   
amount she was intending to extort accordingly.   
  
The violence in Ranma's sudden rejection caught Shampoo off   
guard and sent her crashing into the wall. "Ow! What wrong with   
Ranma?! We's just playing. No need be so rough."  
  
"Shut up Shampoo! I'm sick of your little games," shot back   
Ranma as he stomped down the hall. Nabiki decided it was time to go   
back to her soap opera. Somehow this wasn't as appealing when it was   
actually happening in her own home. She couldn't remember Ranma   
ever sounding so angry. Once again, Nabiki mentally docked the   
amount she was going to charge him.  
  
"My game?! Ranma start this one. Think I no could feel you   
staring? Shampoo just playing off what you give her. And Ranma   
enjoy it!"  
  
"I said... Shut... Up!"  
  
"Admit it! Ranma liked! Why you think get big har..."  
  
"SHUT UP!" Ranma whirled around, 270 degrees of momentum   
behind his backhand; more than enough to knock Shampoo off her feet.   
It was hard to say who was more surprised.   
  
"Ranma... hate Shampoo... this much?" asked the amazon as she   
held back tears and her throbbing cheek. "If so, Shampoo might as well   
go home now. You no will help anyway."   
  
"Look, I didn't mean to hit ya..." began Ranma as Shampoo looked   
up at him hopefully. "And I don't hate ya...it's just... well, you've been   
nothin but a pain since I got back, and..." the apologetic tone that had   
been in his voice up til now disappeared, "and you roughed up Akane   
when you first got here, didn't ya? If ya think you can get away with   
threatening her... "  
  
"That was play, idiot! Me and Akane was playing! Shampoo no   
threaten Akane. Violent girl one who start by threatening bike! Been   
nothing but playful and affectionate since get here, yet Ranma go and   
treat me like... *sniff* like is some villain."   
  
"Shampoo... look, I'm sorry... so ya don't have to cry."  
  
"Who says I is crying?!" asked an angry amazon as she wiped at   
her eyes. "Shampoo not sad, is mad! Why you always overreact when   
I is just playing?! When Ranma become such a serious fuddy duddy?!"  
  
Looking away, Ranma answered, "Probably after I thought Akane   
died and I killed Saffron."  
  
"She... she really mean lot to you, doesn't she?"  
  
"What?! No! I didn't mean... let's get this straight... sorta a for   
whom the bell tolls thing... and there was the Jusenkyo water too...   
and..."  
  
"Is okay Ranma, you no need to say it. Shampoo think know for   
long time. That why I come cut deal for end engagement."  
  
"Ya mean you'll finally be giving up and going back to China?!   
Why didn't ya say so sooner! I thought this was gonna be another one   
of your stupid schemes. All right, let's go seal this deal! Huh, what's   
wrong Shampoo?"  
  
*SLAP!*   
"RANMA NO NEED ACT SO ENTHUSIASTIC!"  
  
"Um... Shampoo... look..."  
  
"Shut up! Shampoo no want listen to insensitive jerk!"  
  
"Okay, but I really think ya should know there's a pervert peeking   
up at ya right now."  
  
Shampoo tried to flatten her skirt as she looked down in   
embarrassment. "Don't mind me Shan-chan. Just cleaning the stairs   
here."   
  
"Then how about looking down at them, old man?" stated Ranma   
as he used his foot to help direct Happosai's face in the right direction.   
"Better head up quick before this old creep squirms free Shampoo."  
  
"Teehee. Ranma save Shampoo from old ogre, and now have   
excuse watch me go up first," said Shampoo with a wink.   
  
"Curse you Ranma! You intend to hog that glorious glistening   
view all for yourself! How truly like a disciple of mine."   
  
"Glistening view...?..!" Ranma's face turned red as he finally   
caught on. "Dream on ya perverts! I ain't like you!" He drove home   
his point by driving Happosai's head into the staircase as he pivoted   
quickly around on it. With a slight sigh of disappointment, Shampoo   
headed up to the Saotome room by herself..   
  
"Heh heh. Looks like she's all ready to go, doesn't it m'boy?"   
cackled Happosai's voice from inside the staircase, which creaked   
ominously as the old lecher's lust aura rapidly expanded within it.   
  
"What in blazes are ya talkin about... whoah!" Happosai had   
managed to put a scissors hold on Ranma's foot, and with a small twist   
spun his disciple off. Landing hands first, Ranma performed a spinning   
handspring and came down facing the freed master in combat stance.   
"Bitter about me ruining your fun, ya old goat? C'mon, I'm ready for   
ya! Whadda ya waiting for?!"  
  
However, no attack was forthcoming, instead Happosai pulled out   
his pipe and calmly puffed away. "What am I waiting for?! What are   
_you_ waiting for?! Shampoo must be up to your room by now, you   
shouldn't keep a lady waiting. If I kicked your ass now I'd miss out on   
an opportunity much greater than the one you denied me."   
  
"Wouldja start making some sense, ya senile old bat," complained   
Ranma in frustration. It felt like there was something going on here that   
everybody knew about, except him of course.  
  
"Don't play dumb, m'boy. You can't fool Happosai with the old   
innocent act. Don't worry, you've got my blessings. Just be gentle   
with her." Ranma was surprised to hear what actually sounded like   
concern for a fellow human being coming from the old creep. But   
before he could become too unnerved, Happosai's tone once again   
resumed that annoying arrogance of his. "It makes an old man proud to   
see his disciple faithfully carrying on the tradition of his marital arts   
line. You're starting to remind me of myself back in the spring time of   
my youth," congratulated Happosai as he slapped Ranma on the back,   
eyes all starry as he reminisced over what in all odds was a rather   
revisionist version of ancient history.   
  
"For the last time old man..." Ranma growled as he cracked his   
knuckles, "I AIN'T LIKE YOU!" So immersed was Happosai in his   
nostalgia and pride, that he hardly noticed when Ranma uppercutted   
him through the roof and into LEO.   
  
* * *  
  
"Ranma finally here!" squealed Shampoo as she jumped up at his   
entrance. "Happy give trouble for defending Shampoo?" asked the   
amazon with concern as she hopefully looked her knight over for any   
wounds she might tend.   
  
"Forget about that old creep. Let's...uh... get down to business,"   
said Ranma nervously, wondering why Shampoo was checking him out   
so thoroughly. Regaining his composure as he sat down crossed legged   
at one end of the coffee table, Ranma motioned for Shampoo to sit at   
the other end (as for away from his as possible) and prompted her to cut   
to the chase; "You were talking about plans to go back to China?"   
  
She angrily ignored both his cues. "That all Ranma care about?!   
That Shampoo be out of hair soon?!" Ranma gulped as Shampoo sat   
down right next to him at a diagonal from his left hand side   
(conveniently within hitting range, a fact that did not escape Ranma,   
whose ability to read the course of a potential combat situation seemed   
inversely proportional to his aptitude at reading the equally volatile   
course of a girl's emotions and mood).   
  
"Would ya cut the hysterics Shampoo?! Let's just quickly get this   
over with before my Mom comes up, okay?"   
  
"You... you male pig!"  
  
"H-huh?"  
  
"How like a male. Ranma just want get quickly what he after   
regardless of whether I is satisfied or happy, neh?" accused Shampoo   
with cool disdain as she crossed her arms and turned away. "Shampoo   
not that easy, especially to disrespectful male."  
  
"Oh for crying out loud... weren't you the one who wanted to talk   
in the first place! What the hell is wrong with ya?! ...Hey, I'm talking   
to you Shampoo," said Ranma as he grabbed the amazon's shoulder   
and tried to yank her around. "If ya got something to say, then stop   
wasting my time and _say_ it!"  
  
"SHAMPOO SPECIAL SCAPULA STRIKE: COLD   
SHOULDER COUNTER!" Using the momentum from Ranma yanking   
on her shoulder, Shampoo drove said shoulder up into his face with   
considerable force. Ranma stumbled back and clutched at his bleeding   
nose as Shampoo spoke in a terse icy tone, "Don't touch me."   
  
"I can't touch you. You won't respond to anything I say, just what   
the hell am I supposed to do then?!" Silence was the only response he   
got. "Fine. Two can play this game!" Ranma spun around and   
crossed his arms. "Just you watch, I'll have you talking first in no   
time."  
  
Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock...  
  
  
"Tea's read..." Mrs. Saotome sweatdropped at the tableau which   
greeted her. She'd hoped that given some time to themselves they'd   
start to hit it off, but if was so quiet in here that you could hear her now   
frozen sweatdrop drop. Brrr. It was cold too. Hopefully everyone   
would be okay with iced tea.   
  
Nodoka evaluated her son's injuries as she took her place at a   
diagonal from his right hand side and set her wrapped up katana on the   
table. He must have been a bit too forward with Shampoo, if the bruise   
on his cheek was any indication. Good for him, and Shampoo. It raised   
her opinion of the amazon that she wasn't the type of girl who   
cheapened herself by easily giving a man what he wanted. Still, Ranma   
must have been getting somewhere, considering his nosebleed.   
  
"Don't mind me. You two just continue whatever your   
conversation was before I interrupted you." Tick, tock. Tick, tock...   
-_-; "Would either of you care for some ice tea? I also brought up   
some rice balls in case anyone was hungry?"  
  
Shampoo hesitantly peeked over her shoulder. It looked like   
Ranma was bent on remaining obstinate to the end. Sighing to herself,   
Shampoo decided to put an end to this foolishness and turned back   
toward the table. "Shampoo is wanting tea please, Auntie Saotome."   
  
As soon as Shampoo spoke, Ranma whirled back toward the table   
too, his pumping fist accompanied by a soft, but victorious, "Yosh!"  
  
"What was that Ranma?" asked his mother as she started to serve   
the tea.  
  
"Oh... um... I was just thinking... um... how excellent it would be to   
have some tea too."   
  
Goddess, he was such an immature brat! As soon as Mrs. Satome   
bent down to pour the tea, Shampoo let Ranma know what she thought   
of his childishness with a pulled down eyelid and outstuck tongue.   
Ranma quickly retorted with his own tongue and a V for victory hand   
sign. Shampoo was about to use her free hand to show Ranma she   
could be twice as insulting with half as many fingers, but Mrs. Saotome   
was starting to look back up, so Shampoo and Ranma instantly reverted   
to more civil poses.   
  
"So Ranma, are you going to help Shampoo in fulfilling the spirit   
of her law?" asked Nodoka innocently.   
  
"Huh?" mumbled a clueless Ranma between a mouthful of rice   
ball.   
  
"Basically, I is wanting Ranma's memes `n genes."   
  
Mean jeans?! Had he heard her correctly? Sometimes Shampoo's   
Japanese was as hard to follow as her ineffable thought processes, and   
he'd been paying more attention to his food than her. So basically she   
wanted some kind of souvenir or something? But jeans? Oh well,   
maybe the amazons took articles of clothing as mementos. If it'd get   
her to leave, she could have anything from his wardrobe she wanted.   
And now that he thought about it, he probably would cut a pretty mean   
figure in jeans. It seemed a little weird, but at least she wasn't asking   
for something more perverted like boxers or a jock strap. Still, he'd   
better make sure he understood exactly what she was asking for. "Male   
or female?"  
  
The reason why Ranma could make such an offer was conveniently   
demonstrated by his companions iced tea spluttering all over him. The   
two looked on at Ranma in what would have been stunned disbelief if   
they hadn't been busy choking and gasping on the tea which hadn't   
made it's way out. Nodoka clutched her katana in trembling hands,   
while Shampoo managed to regain her voice, "What the hell Ranma   
thinking?! Male of course!"  
  
[Jeesh. Well excuse me for making sure I understood what you   
were asking. I just thought you might want something you could   
actually wear. You've already shown interest in taking some of my girl   
clothes today.]  
  
"The other part of the deal is that Shampoo wants you to train her   
in our families' school of martial arts," explained Mrs. Satome, quickly   
changing the subject.   
  
Unlike giving her some jeans, this sounded like a major hassle.   
"Why am I doing this for ya again?" Ranma asked unenthusiastically.  
  
"That does it!" Shampoo grabbed the smaller girl by the collar and   
locked eyes with her. Ranma shrank back from the fire burning therein.   
"Shampoo had all she can stand from Ranma! You ever stop for think   
about situation Shampoo is in? That I is bound by honor of my law for   
marry you?! That by not marry Ranma I will be punished?! And   
punishment be especially bad if I return to tribe empty handed?!"  
  
"Hey, it's not my fault your tribes got such screwed up laws," said   
Ranma defensively.   
  
"Goddess, you is such clueless idiot!" shouted Shampoo as she   
threw Ranma to the floor in disgust. "Stupid Ranma probably no even   
know about survival of the fittest, so Shampoo no bother wasting time   
arguing Laws merit. But want you know that if no for Law, Shampoo's   
tribe been wiped out long ago, tribe what give women much better   
quality of life than your `civilized' Japan or my native China. So   
Shampoo no let ignorant Ranma insult my tribe he no understand. That   
what really piss me off. Ranma no try and understand Shampoo, just   
keep treating her horribly with disrespect all day, and I is sick of it!!!"   
  
"Well you know what?" said Ranma as he got back up in   
Shampoo's face. "I'm sick of you too! If I've been treating you worse   
than you deserve, then I'm sorry, but if you haven't figured it out yet,   
let me make it clear; I don't really like you. For one, your pushy. Hell,   
you've gone as far as trying to rape me. Twice!"   
  
Mrs. Saotome's eyes bugged out at this revelation. It was   
uncomfortable being witness to this venting of pent up frustrations, but   
so caught up were the two youths in unleashing their feelings that   
Nodoka doubted they'd even hear her if she tried to calm them down.   
Besides, maybe it was for the best that they got out in the open how   
they really felt. Provided they didn't end up killing each other that is.   
  
"Rape? Oh, that word. Hmphh. We Amazons no have such   
concept. If you is strong enough, then you has earned the right.   
Besides, Ranma tried do same thing," accused Shampoo.  
  
"Wha... I did not! It was all cause of that stupid reversal jewel. I   
was just trying to make you say you liked me again, though I don't   
know why I was bothering. You're clingy, manipulative, deceptive,   
selfish, and spiteful. Whenever you're around I always gotta worry   
about what new scheme you've got brewing."  
  
Ranma fully expected to get hit. That he could live with. But what   
happened next was something he was utterly unprepared to deal with.   
Shampoo lowered her head and turned away in shame. When she   
spoke, it was in a tone that he never thought he'd hear from her:   
self-recrimination.   
  
"I know that. Shampoo came to realize is sometimes that way...   
and I is trying be better person. Am sorry for lots of what have done to   
Ranma and Akane, but..." Shampoo now spun around, her tear streaked   
face causing Ranma to gulp, "...but Shampoo kept doing worse stuff   
cause Ranma never even give her chance! Is not excuse, but no knew   
how else deal with Ranma always avoiding. You would no even date   
with me until I resort to bribe! Was to much to ask that Ranma at least   
try and get to know Shampoo?!"  
  
"Oh come on Shampoo, at least ya got a date. That's more than   
Akane can say," pointed out Ranma, who was finding it hard to   
maintain his anger in the face of Shampoo's misery.   
  
"Some date," said Shampoo bitterly. "You is saying I deceptive?!   
What about Ranma? Shampoo gave many chances show good faith to   
promise date me, and each time Ranma betray and try escape with bait!   
And lets no forget quick one you tried pull on Akane at end," reminded   
Shampoo, a slight smirk appearing on her face at the memories. "Not   
that wasn't fun getting even for Ranma toy with Shampoo... but as date,   
was pathetic. I even offer Ranma out when see you too worried about   
Akane, but you no would even give goodbye kiss! Is Shampoo that   
repugnant?"   
  
"Look, that's not it," Ranma said in frustration. He knew he was   
weak with words, and was becoming painfully aware of his difficulty   
expressing himself. Hell, even Shampoo, with her pidgin speech, was   
doing a better job. Yet he knew she was missing something important   
and here he was, unable find the words to defend himself without   
looking like a whining loser. "I mean, I haven't even really kissed   
Akane," he offered up lamely.   
  
"So you haven't dated or kissed Akane? And you won't kiss or   
date other girls unless they bribe you?" asked Mrs. Saotome gravely.   
  
"EEK!" yelped Ranma as he remembered that his mother was here.   
"It's not like that! If... if I'd kissed Shampoo, then I'd have lost. But   
more than that... I'd have let her manipulate me. And that's what it   
really comes down to: _Nobody_, and I mean _nobody_, is gonna   
manipulate, control, or jerk Saotome Ranma around!"  
  
Both women were taken aback by the sudden display of fierce   
determination. A teary eyed Nodoka was the first to find her voice.   
"Oh, Ranma..." She couldn't help but be reminded of that time Ranko   
swore to recover the family treasure. It was ironic that her son   
happened to be a girl the two times she was most certain of his   
manliness.   
  
Moments ago, Shampoo had been thinking she couldn't wait to be   
rid of this loser and wondering how she'd ever fell for the idiot. Now,   
as she watched the fiery red head reach deep inside of himself and bring   
forth that unconquerable strength of his, Shampoo felt a bittersweet   
blush spread across her cheeks. Unable to bear it anymore, Shampoo   
tore her gaze away from that enamoring brilliance.  
  
"Know what hurt most, Ranma? That got no chance, as if have no   
value. Is Shampoo so worthless that you no saw reason to try   
relationship? It not fair! At least stupid spatula girl have your   
friendship! And if Ranma picked Akane then could have lived with,   
because at least got chance. But you no have ever return a shred of all   
affection I give, or try learn more about Shampoo. Like what village   
and family like. What hopes and ambitions for future are. What like do   
in spare time. What are favorite music and books..."   
  
"You can read?"  
  
"....."  
*THUD!*  
As Nodoka looked upon the flattened form of her son underneath   
the table, she couldn't help but think he'd had it coming. It wouldn't   
have hurt him to show a little sympathy, in fact, he'd be hurting a whole   
lot less.   
  
"Yes, I can read!" yelled Shampoo at a groaning Ranma..  
  
"Uh... Japanese. I meant Japanese," said Ranma in a desperate   
attempt at a save.  
  
*STOMP* "For stupid Ranma's information, *STOMP* Shampoo   
can write Japnese! *STOMP* *sniff* Shampoo hate Ranma!"   
Spinning around, Shampoo cupped her face in her hands and started to   
run off.  
  
"Ouch.... Man, what's with that girl?" grumbled Ranma as he tried   
to get the room to stop spinning. Okay, so he'd inadvertently insulted   
her intelligence, that still wasn't a reason to fly off the handle and start   
cr... Oh well, it's not like he cared if these negotiations fell apart. It'd   
be Shampoo's fault for running out... Uh oh. Ranma noticed his mother   
fixing him with a stern stare of disapproval that momentarily put a stop   
to his mental excuses, a moment in which he suddenly found himself   
feeling guilty.   
  
Springing into action, and across the room, Ranma grabbed   
Shampoo's hand before she could slam the door in his face. "Shampoo,   
before you go, I wanna say something to ya. This all must be pretty   
hard on ya, I mean, having to give up on such a great guy as me..."  
  
Was this his idea of sympathy?! "Actually, Shampoo thinking glad   
dump such arrogant asshole."  
  
"Why you... since when were ya dumping me!! Humph. And here   
I was trying to apologize and give ya my pledge as a man to help you   
fulfill the spirit of your law and train ya in my families martial arts."  
  
Despite her current emotional state, Shampoo had enough sense to   
realize she had Ranma right where she wanted him. Clasping her prey's   
hand in her own, she looked at him, eyes shimmering with hope. "R-  
ranma really mean that? Will help Shampoo?"  
  
D'oh! He hadn't meant to say that yet. Looking over his shoulder,   
he saw his mother smiling encouragingly at the two of them. *sigh*   
Ranma didn't quite feel comfortable with this whole thing, but he   
honestly didn't want Shampoo getting into trouble on his account. It's   
just he wasn't quite sure he understood exactly what was going on here,   
which made him uneasy, considering his history with Shampoo, her   
claims to trying to improve herself notwithstanding. Still, his mother   
seemed to be in favor of this whole thing, and unlike certain other   
parent figures and amazons, he could trust her, right?   
  
"Shampoo, you have my word as a Saotome and a man that I'll   
fulfill the spirit of your law and train you in the Saotome School of   
Anything Goes Martial Arts." There. That should satisfy his mother   
and his guilt.   
  
"Yay! Shampoo knew could count on Ranma!" squealed the   
amazon in delight as she threw herself around him. "You no will regret   
help Shampoo."  
  
[I already am] thought Ranma as he futilely attempted to squirm   
free from Shampoo's glomp. This was so much more embarrassing   
when he was a girl. Blushing as his squirming caused his chest to rub   
against Shampoo's, Ranma looked away as he modestly said, "Ah, it's   
no big deal. After all, I owe you amazons for all the training Cologne   
gave me. I mean, if she hadn't taught me the Hiryu Shoten Ha... well, I   
don't even want to think about it," shivered Ranma.  
  
Shampoo's reaction to Ranma's words was equally as cold. Her   
arms let go of Ranma and dropped limply to her side. "So... Ranma is   
no doing this for Shampoo?"  
  
"Huh?.... I said I'd train ya, didn't I?"  
  
"Then let start now," growled the amazon as she cracked her   
knuckles, "Shampoo have much anger for work out."  
  
[Oh yeah, I'm going end up regretting this] thought Ranma with   
foreboding as thunder rolled ominously overhead.  
  
  
To be continued... 


	7. Chapter 6

[fic][Ranma] Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
feedback may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com  
previous chapters may be found at   
http://www.angelfire.com/anime5/ficaleb   
Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creation and property of   
Takahashi-sama and various other entities. I'm just borrowing   
them without permission. I promise to put them all back when I'm   
done... except possibly for Shampoo:)  
  
Chapter 6  
By: Kaleb  
  
  
".ma!.anma!.Ranma!" Squinting through the eye that   
hadn't been blackened, Ranma made out Akane's concerned face   
hovering above his. "Thank goodness you're finally awake! Are   
you ok? How many fingers am I holding up?"  
  
"Of course I'm ok," snapped Ranma in annoyance, shoving   
away Akane's six fingers as he attempted to rise from the floor of   
the spinning dojo.  
  
"Oh really?" said Akane dubiously, catching him as he lost his   
balance. "You shouldn't push yourself yet. She could have given   
you a concussion."  
  
"I said I'm fine," repeated Ranma as he once again pushed   
Akane away and sulked down into a sitting position.  
  
"Well, if you say so. but let me at least take a look at these   
bruises." Ranma's only reply was a grunt, but he allowed Akane to   
start treating his injuries. "Boy, Shampoo really trounced you,"   
observed Akane as she started applying salve to Ranma's black   
eye.   
  
"Aw, I let her win. Wanted her to get out all that anger and   
figure out exactly where she was martial arts wise. If I'd beat her   
in a couple seconds like I usually do she'd have just got even more   
pissed and I wouldn't have learned much about her abilities."  
  
"Bull shit Ranma, we all know you couldn't throw a fight if   
your life depended on it." Ranma tensed as Nabiki made her   
presence known. "And Akane. aren't you supposed to keep that   
stuff away from the mucous membranes?"  
  
"Oops." As luck would have it, Ranma chose Akane's   
moment of startlement to spin around and face Nabiki, his injured   
eye getting a finger full of salve in the process.   
  
"GGYYAAHHHH!"  
  
"Ah! I'm sorry! Wait, don't try and claw it out! Um. um.   
flush! We need to flush it out! I'll be back with some water right   
away!"  
  
"Stupid klutz," muttered Ranma, clutching his eye in pain as   
Akane dashed out of the dojo. Then speaking incredulously to the   
older sibling, "Are ya implying that Shampoo's better than me?   
Huh?! That's ridiculous Nabiki, I won the tribal championship   
match against Shampoo and have beat her easily more than once   
after that!"  
  
"My, my, aren't we awfully insecure? _I_ never said   
anything about Shampoo being better than you. However, before   
you challenged Shampoo, she'd just become the Champion of her   
people. Do you honestly think that the Champion of the Amazons,   
a martial race that's the product of thousands of years of eugenic   
breeding and produces matriarchs of Cologne's caliber I might add,   
is going to be some pushover who you can "easily" defeat?"  
  
"Well. uh. that's just." before Ranma could splutter out a   
repudiation, Akane dashed back into the dojo with the hose.   
  
"Okay, now if you could uncover that eye. good. Okay!   
Turn 'er on Kasumi!" Shouted Akane over her shoulder as she   
dangled the hose over Ranma's swollen eye. "Huh? Nothing's   
coming out?"  
  
"The nozzle attachment is still on," pointed out Nabiki.   
  
"Oh yeah," said a flustered Akane as Ranma rolled his eyes.   
"So, um, if I just turn it here." suddenly a stream of high   
pressure water shot forth from the nozzle, blasting Ranma point   
blank. Akane looked on in dismay as her now transformed fiance   
writhed in agony on the floor.   
  
"Should I call the fire department now?" came Kasumi's voice   
from outside the dojo.  
  
"F-fire department.?" stuttered Akane as she fumbled with   
the nozzle attachment, trying to turn it back off.   
  
"There's a fire right? That's why you were so distressed and   
wanted the hose. Oh my." Said Kasumi as she stepped into the   
dojo.  
  
"That explains the max power from the nozzle," said Nabiki.  
  
"Well, it feels like my eyes on fire, thanks to a certain tomboys   
utter ineptness at gardening and first aid," said Ranma   
sarcastically, glaring at Akane with his eye that wasn't winced   
shut.   
  
"You want me to make that other eye match? Really, I was   
just trying to help."  
  
"Some "help"; you're even more vicious than Shampoo.   
Anymore of your "help" and I'd end up half blind."   
  
Before Akane could react, Kasumi quickly stepped between   
the quarrelsome pair. "Oh dear. You better let me take a look at   
that eye Ranma. We want to make sure it's not seriously injured."  
  
"H-he couldn't really lose use of his eye, could he?"  
  
"Don't worry Akane. Even if there was serious damage they'd   
be able to repair it this early. Ranma's tough and heals real quick,   
I'm sure he'll be fine. Now if you'd just open your eye for me   
Ranma?"  
  
"Sure Kasumi," said Ranma sweetly as Kasumi helped by   
gently putting traction on his eyelids. "Boy, it sure is nice to be   
treated by someone who actually has that feminine grace and   
delicacy of touch."   
  
"Well, besides being badly irritated, your eye looks like it'll be   
fine given a day or two of rest," prognosed Kasumi. "Let's put a   
patch over it in the meantime, so nothing else will disturb it."   
Pulling a large and dark circular Band-Aid out of the first aid kit,   
Kasumi patched it over Ranma's left eye. "There. I know it's   
instinctual to keep it clenched tight, but try and relax your lids now   
that there's no need to protect the eye."  
  
"Thanks Kasumi," said Ranma as he tried relaxing his eyelids,   
surprised that it was harder than it sounded.  
  
"No. It was my pleasure. With the rest of these injuries,   
where they Shampoo's doing? She seemed like she was in such a   
good mood this morning."  
  
"Well, you know how Ranma is with women," remarked   
Nabiki. "Looks like they ended up getting in a fight and Shampoo   
dumped him."  
  
"Now hold on a sec, we cut a deal; Shampoo did _not_ dump   
m-"  
  
"And not only that, but Ranma actually _lost_" added Akane,   
"badly. I didn't see a scratch on Shampoo when she came out of   
the dojo."  
  
"Oh my. Ranma lost a fight?"  
  
"I did not! Not really. I let her win! .Why are you all   
looking at me like that?"  
  
"Ranma." said Akane as she shook her head, "even Kasumi's   
not gullible enough to believe you'd throw a fight. I've fought   
Shampoo myself; she's not an opponent to be taken lightly; leave   
one opening and it'll be all over before you know what hit you.   
She's not in the same category as the Kuno twins whom you can   
defeat with ease; I myself can fend those two off, but in a real fight   
Shampoo took me down in a few seconds."  
  
"So? You're a slow klutz, whereas I am not. Just because you   
get your ass kicked by Shampoo doesn't mean I can't beat her   
handily when I choose. *oomph*" the rest of Ranma's sentence   
was cut off as Akane dropped her elbow on top of the shorter girl's   
head.   
  
"Akane's right Ranma. You're writing Shampoo off to easily,"   
accused Nabiki as she pointed dramatically at the flattened red   
head. "Have you ever had a real duel with her?"  
  
"Sure I have!" responded Ranma as he jumped back up and   
faced Nabiki. "Remember the time I beat her when she was   
wearing the reversal jewel?"  
  
"How could we forget?" muttered Akane. "Afterward the   
whole school was talking about how you'd tried to force yourself   
on her."  
  
"Hey! Don't go brining that up again. I already told ya it was   
the stupid jewel's fault for making her hate my guts. The point is   
that I challenged Shampoo and then beat her without throwing a   
single punch."  
  
"But Ranma, if Shampoo hated your guts. wouldn't that have   
affected her fighting?" asked Kasumi.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Well, the jewel was possessing her with an irrational anger   
toward you, right? Martial arts is about control. Someone who   
loses control of their anger may have extra power, but their   
technique will suffer, right?"  
  
"Well. uh. it's possible."  
  
"Oh, she's right and you know it Ranma," said Akane.   
  
"Well, if anyone here's an expert about losing control of their   
temper it'd be you," Ranma conceded.  
  
"Shut up, I'm trying to think here!" growled Akane as she once   
again hit Ranma with an elbow drop. "What Kasumi said reminds   
my sparring match with Shampoo this morning. I got so mad that I   
was completely ignoring my defense because I wanted to hit her so   
badly. The same thing probably happened in that fight with   
Shampoo; her hatred made hurting you her only goal, thus she was   
probably ignoring her defense in favor of her offense."  
  
"That would have left her with lots of openings, wouldn't it?"   
noted Kasumi. "It would have been easy to use Aikido against   
those openings to redirect her excessive offense and then pin her   
using your strength advantage."  
  
"Which is exactly what happened, wasn't it Ranma?" said   
Nabiki smugly.   
  
"Since when did Kasumi become a martial arts analyst   
anyway," groused Ranma.  
  
"Dad trained all of us a little bit," explained Akane. "To see if   
we had any talent for carrying on the school and so he wouldn't   
have to worry about us walking home at night."  
  
"Yep," confirmed Nabiki. "But getting exhausted in a sweaty   
smelly gi wasn't my idea of a good time and Kasumi, well she."  
  
"Well, I never could quite bring myself to hit someone,"   
blushed Kasumi. "So I decided to learn Aikido instead."  
  
"But the Tendo Anything-Goes style and Aikido are like night   
and day, so Dad never taught her anything more than the basics,"   
said Nabiki. "A shame too. As I recall, you were pretty good at it   
sis."  
  
"Oh, not really. They were just the basics, so of course they   
were fairly easy to do," demurred Kasumi.  
  
"Hey, give your self more credit; Aikido's one of the harder   
forms to gain competence in," said Ranma, obviously impressed.   
"Heck, I doubt the more brutish martial artists like Ryogau or   
Akane could ever use such a graceful style effectively."  
  
"What was that?!" shouted Akane as she grabbed Ranma by   
the arm and swung him to the ground, then reversing directions   
pulled the arm back across Ranma's back, immobilizing it in a   
painful joint lock. "So I can't pull off any Aikido, eh?!" growled   
Akane as Ranma's free hand slapped the floor for mercy.   
  
"Well duh," responded Ranma through gritted teeth. "Aikido's   
never used to initiate an attack! Ow! You call this "loving   
force"?!"  
  
"Hmmphh. Think of it as tough love," Akane said, sticking   
out her tongue as she let go of the little red head. Not finished   
needling him yet, Akane prepared another barb, "You know, that   
first time you fought Shampoo, she'd been competing all day in the   
tournament and had just finished fighting in the tough   
championship bout, hadn't she?   
  
"Ya trying to say Shampoo wasn't in top form? If so, she   
should have postponed our match until she'd rested up. You'll   
notice I usually schedule my duel's a week in advance so I can   
properly prepare. None of which changes the fact I won that   
match with just one kick."  
  
"And just how did you manage that?" asked Nabiki   
suspiciously.  
  
"Heh. It was brilliant strategy. I pretended to almost lose my   
balance when I mounted the log. Then I got into a sloppy fighting   
stance, all to fool Shampoo into fatally underestimating me. I   
figured that since we were just fighting to a knock off instead of a   
knock out I'd only need one solid hit, and the best way to do that   
would be to make her over commit to her opening strike; which I   
predicted she'd do based on my observations of her earlier match.   
When Shampoo senses an opening she puts everything she's got   
into a final strike."  
  
"So you won using a cheap trick," summed up Nabiki.  
  
"And by your advantage of having watched her in action   
before," added Akane, "an advantage which she didn't share. Plus,   
it's not like you knocked her out. If it'd been a real fight she could   
have easily kept going."  
  
"Hey, I was just tailoring my strategy to the rules of _her_   
tribe's contest. And besides, I've scored a KO against Shampoo   
too. Remember when she first came to your house and I protected   
you from her?"  
  
"How could we forget," muttered Akane. "Afterward you had   
quite the kiss with her."  
  
"Wouldja stop brining up all this old crap?! It's not like I   
wanted her to kiss me."  
  
"For someone who "didn't want to be kissed" you sure didn't   
put up much of a fight. And that skirmish with Shampoo wasn't   
much of a fight either. I believe you yourself said, and I quote; "It   
was just a fluke accident!" said Akane with mocking sarcasm.   
  
"Now, now, I think Ranma deserves more credit than that for   
saving you from Shampoo," Kasumi said. "True, he took her by   
surprise and caught her in a flat footed stance, which she probably   
never would have gone into if she'd suspected him of attacking; but   
even Shampoo admitted he beat her, otherwise she wouldn't have   
given him the kiss of marriage."  
  
"But the real point is, as Kasumi's analysis has once again   
shown, that none of your past fights against Shampoo really count   
for conclusively settling how good Shampoo is," concluded   
Nabiki.  
  
"True true, specially since Shampoo no was being beat that   
time." All four heads turned to see Shampoo leaning smugly   
against the dojo doorway.   
  
"You're still here Shampoo?!" sputtered Ranma in surprise.   
"Just how long have you been listening?!"  
  
"Long enough, "sensei"."   
  
"Then why didn't ya speak up for yourself sooner?!"  
  
"Hmmphh, you's speculating of no interest for Shampoo who   
already knowing where issue stand," answered the amazon as she   
flicked back a stray hair. "No mattering to Shampoo what other's   
think of her."  
  
"That so? Then why ya bothering to defend yourself now,   
eh?"  
  
"Only is helping complete Kasumi overview of past fighting,"   
said Shampoo as she began to stroll over toward Ranma. "Thought   
you may be interested that I no was knocked out."  
  
"You really expect me to believe that considering you gave me   
the kiss of marriage?"  
  
"Oh that?" Shampoo laughed dismissively as she slowing   
began circling Ranma. "That just for give good excuse stick round   
house where knowing female Ranma must be. Only pretending   
unconscious while I deciding next move; kiss of marriage seeming   
much better strategy than try fight ginst Ranma, violent girl, and   
Panda all at once, neh?"  
  
There was a moment of stunned silence and one "Oh my"   
before Ranma was able to regain his voice, "Oh ho, I get it. This is   
just another one of your games. Trying to make a fool of me   
because you're still bitter. You're too deceptive for me to believe   
anything you say anyway. Like you'd really screw around with   
your own law."  
  
"Why not? As Ranma say, I is deceptive, and you seeing me   
use kiss of death as bluff before, right Akane?" purred the amazon   
as she lightly brushed her fingertips against Akane's cheek, causing   
Ranma's fist to clench.   
  
"H-hai," said Akane, eyeing Shampoo's fingers warily, her   
mind still trying to grasp the full implications of what was   
happening. Turning her gaze resolutely back to Shampoos' she   
asked, "So, it's really true that you're dumping Ranma, isn't it?"  
  
"She _is_ not." *smack* Ranma's protests were halted by   
both girl's fists.  
  
"She all yours," Shampoo declared as she picked a dazed   
Ranma up by his hair and held him out to Akane.  
  
"Who said I wanted him?" huffed Akane as she turned away   
disdainfully. Shrugging, Shampoo dropped Ranma rudely to the   
floor. "Honestly," muttered Akane, "you didn't have to protest so   
much."   
  
"Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. Cutting a deal to end   
the engagement, then revealing it was never legal in the first place.   
You're one slick dealer girl," said Nabiki with admiration. "How   
much were you able to scam out of the chump anyway?"  
  
"Mmm. Maybe Shampoo no should tell, thinking have   
embarrassed Ranma enough for today. Still. maybe tell on way   
to photo shop. Greedy girl wanting go now? Storm over," said   
Shampoo as she walked back to her bike.   
  
"Okay, I'm game," said Nabiki as she jumped on tandem.   
"And I do have a name you know."  
  
"Hai, hai, old habits dying hard, neh? Nab-chan better be   
holding on tight."  
  
"Nab. chan? .Wait! You're not seriously getting on t-  
that. that death machine with her, are you?!" asked a horrified   
Akane.   
  
"Ha ha ha. It'll be quite the thrill, won't it?" laughed Nabiki as   
she wrapped her arms around Shampoo. "Certainly beats taking   
the boring old bus; won't cost a cent and probably make better time   
too."  
  
"No fear!" pronounced Shampoo melodramatically, "For with   
Shampoo at handlebars thine sister surely being brought back   
safely. This Shampoo swearing. Now, we is off!" With an utterly   
unnecessary U-turn (save that it allowed her to run Ranma over),   
the two took off like a shot; Nabiki letting out an enthusiastic   
holler and Shampoo waving backward. "Bye bye "Sensei".   
Shampoo look forward to next "lesson"."   
  
". heh. Little does she realize I've got her right where I want   
her," rasped Ranma into the floor he was face down in. "The true   
power of the Saotome Anything-Goes style is only given play   
against a truly challenging opponent. By proving herself to be   
such she's played right into my hands. Mwhahaha! You wanted to   
learn my Anything-Goes style, Shampoo? You've got it! When   
next we meet I won't hold back; I'll show you it's true power over   
and over until it's beaten into you and your begging for mercy!   
Mwhahahahahaha!"  
  
"Oh dear, Ranma's still trying to pretend everything's going   
according to plan," said Kasumi.  
  
"More like he's completely losing it. Hey Ranma! Why don't   
you stop scaring the floor with your awful monologue and get up."  
  
"I would. except I think Shampoo ran right over my spine."   
  
Heaving a sigh, Akane peeled Ranma off the floor by his   
pigtail. "Oh my!" exclaimed Kasumi as she ran her finger down   
Ranma's spinous processes. "Shampoo put out both your C-6 and   
L-5! Both your brachial and sacral plexus are probably impinged.   
No wonder you couldn't get up. Shampoo must have an uncanny   
precision to do such specific damage with a tire. You should   
probably take a hot bath and get the muscles all relaxed before   
trying to adjust them back in place. Hmmm. Actually, the   
expansion when you transform might pop them back in place all on   
its own."  
  
"Well, either way, you need a bath. You're a complete mess.   
C'mon," ordered Akane as she dragged Ranma out of the dojo by   
his pigtail. "I wonder why those two were so hot to get out to the   
photo shop anyway?"  
  
"-_-; erm, I have no idea. ow! Hey, watch what your   
dragging me over will ya?!"  
  
"Wuss. Still. I suppose it would be a little cruel dragging   
you down the stairs like this," admitted Akane as she swung   
Ranma up and around into her arms.   
  
"Hey. ya don't have to, uh." blustered Ranma as he quickly   
looked around to see if anyone was watching.  
  
"Oh hush," admonished Akane as she peeked inside the house.   
"Unless you'd rather I drag you downstairs." Seeing that the coast   
was clear, Akane quickly slipped over to the stairs that led down to   
the bathroom.  
  
Not quite comfortable with being held like this, but feeling   
he'd already had enough physical abuse for one afternoon, Ranma   
changed the subject. "Say, I never knew Kasumi knew all that   
medical stuff."  
  
"Well, she's always wanted to be a nurse practitioner,"   
explained Akane as she opened the door to the laundry room, "but   
she deferred going off to university to help take care of the family.   
That hasn't stopped her from borrowing books from Dr. Tofu   
though, and since your mother recently moved in she's had enough   
free time to start taking a correspondence course. She's planning   
to go off to university the same year we do, you know."  
  
"Wow. I never realized she was so busy. A nurse practitioner,   
eh? Figures somehow. I'm sure she'll be great at it. She really is a   
good women, isn't she," said Ranma as Akane came to a sudden   
halt before the bath. The awkwardness of his temporary   
quadriplegia suddenly hit Ranma, "Uh. eh. you don't have to   
undress me."  
  
"I suppose you'd rather have me send Kasumi in, is that it?   
She's at least a "good women"; better suited for treating your   
injuries, right? That's what you seemed to prefer in the dojo."  
  
"Damnit Akane! That's not what I meant! I was just honestly   
impressed with. Look, I'll be fine bathing in my clothes, ok?"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous," scolded Akane as she sat a blushing   
Ranma down on the wash stool. "We're not going to ruin perfectly   
good bathing water because you're an immature idiot. We're both   
girls right now, so there's nothing to get e-embarrassed about, you   
pervert," Akane said, steadying her hands as they started   
unbuttoning the knobs of Ranma's shirt.  
  
[Damn you Shampoo] thought Ranma in a feverent attempt to   
keep his mind off Akane's hands, which were now clumsily   
working on the knobs over his breasts. [If they became aroused   
I'm soo dead. And it's only gonna get worse once she starts   
washing. Not going to think about that. Damn you Shampoo.   
Damn you, damn you, damn you!]   
  
  
End of Chapter 6  
To be continued.. 


	8. Chapter 7

[fic][Ranma] Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
feedback may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com  
previous chapters may be found at   
  
Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creation and property of   
Takahashi-sama and various other entities. I'm just borrowing them   
without permission. I promise to put them all back when I'm done...   
except possibly for Shampoo:)  
Chapter 7  
By: Kaleb  
"ACHOO!"  
  
"Little drafty down there?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
*HONK!*   
*CRASH* *SMASH*   
*SCHREEEECH* *CRUNCH* *WHEEOWHEEO*  
  
"Wow. That's the third one so far. Ya know… I think the cop   
wants _you_ to pull over. There's probably some ordinance against   
biking downhill in a miniskirt, especially when you're not wearing any   
panties."  
  
"Shut up. Clunky cop car no follow into little alley. We losing   
there," said Shampoo as she cut sharply across several lanes of traffic   
into a narrow alleyway. "This first time wearing such skirt. Not   
Shampoo fault stupid foreign dress billowing at every chance. Who   
hell make this thing?!"  
  
"Probably some sad lonely man."  
  
"Stupid male pigs!"  
  
"Speaking of which, it looks like that cop car is barely fitting in."  
  
"Bad! But me fix," Shampoo said as she scanned the brick walls   
cordoning the alley. Instantly identifying the weakest structural point,   
Shampoo lashed out at it. Nabiki's eyes widened in shock as large   
chunks of wall collapsed behind them, covering their escape.   
  
"Whoa! You really are good."  
  
"When you training for attack pressure points and nerve system   
you learning be very precise aim. Mother always drilling into me for   
recognize and attack weak points. Walls much easier than humans;   
they no dodge."  
  
"They're a lot bigger and solider though, aren't they?"  
  
"Nah, mostly empty space, and have no will for holding form.   
Nothing oppose when strike and no acknowledge they existing; lets   
hand can go through like not there."  
  
"Sorta a delusion for giving you enough confidence to do   
something you'd never attempt if you were being sane and stopped to   
think about it?"   
  
"Nah, Shampoo say it quantum mechanic thingy."  
  
"And who ever said quantum mechanics was sane?"  
  
"… Suppose Nab-chan right there. But when get down really   
small level, even what appearing smooth is having much asymmetry.   
Stress no distribute evenly, always one point where most stress   
converging, and that where hit."  
  
"Sure, but we're talking microscopic lattices here, isn't it a little   
hard to target those with something as big as your fingers?"  
  
"Help to use ki. Focus it to itty bitty point match target."  
  
"Almost sounds like you were trained in the bakentetsu."  
  
"….. Shampoo… never mastering that move. Did much improve   
my aim and toughness."   
  
"I'll say. If I didn't see you do it all the time I wouldn't believe it   
myself. So just how good are you anyway?"  
  
"Eh? Let take little breather," panted Shampoo as she pulled the   
bike into another alleyway and brought it to a stop.   
  
"Good idea. All that excitement left me a little short of breath   
too," admitted Nabiki as she jumped off the bike. Reclining against   
the wall, Nabiki pulled out a stick of Pocky and bit in. "So come on,   
how good a fighter are you really? I've never seen you go all out   
myself, but from the bits and pieces I've gathered you must have some   
serious power. After all, you are the Champion of your people. You   
don't get to be la creme de creme without talent."  
  
"Hmph. Tourney fight much differ from real fight," shrugged   
Shampoo as she leaned against her bike. Then she grimaced and lifted   
up the hem of her new miniskirt, "*sigh* Stupid foreign dress so   
embarrassing. Shampoo should have waited for clothes done   
washing."  
  
"Tell you what, if it'd make you more comfortable, I could loan   
you my panties."  
  
"W-what?!"  
  
"Well, since I'm in jeans, I don't really need to worry about being   
peeked at, while you on the other hand… Let's say as a fellow girl I   
can sympathize with not wanting perverts peeking at your private   
parts."  
  
"Not that stop greedy girl charging rental fee, neh?"  
  
"Only 750 yen, plus they'll be fresh off the butt."  
  
"Like Shampoo care bout that! Still, suppose be less   
embarrassing. Fine for Ranma see, and not too embarrassing with   
other girls, but Shampoo detesting stupid strangers stare. Give   
Shampoo creeps!"  
  
"Kinda hard for them not too the way you were flashing it,"   
chuckled Nabiki as she unzipped her jeans. Shampoo couldn't help   
but stare a bit; Nabiki's taste in lingerie was quite… decadent. "It's   
really your own fault for not thinking ahead."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, Shampoo often not think ahead or considering   
consequences. I knowing that already," grumbled Shampoo, blushing   
slightly as Nabiki wiggled out of her pants.   
  
"No need to be so modest. Honestly, would you say you're better   
than Ranma?" asked Nabiki as she hooked her thumbs under her   
waistband and pulled down her panties.  
  
"Who know? Have yet for real fight," replied Shampoo, turning   
away slightly from the half nude Nabiki.  
  
"Fine. Be coy," Nabiki smirked as she tossed her panties to   
Shampoo, letting them fall atop the amazon's head. "We'll know soon   
enough. Ranma's ego won't let the matter stand undecided. About   
what I figured; even though Ranma is incapable of "letting" someone   
win, he might have been holding back against you at first, a fatal   
mistake given what you can do when given an opening. A well placed   
pressure point attack can quickly seal a match, neh?"   
  
"Surprised Nab-chan able wear such fancy panties in same house   
as little troll," said Shampoo as she removed Nabiki's lingerie from   
her head.  
  
"Happosai knows better than to mess with me, or Kasumi for that   
matter," bragged Nabiki as she slipped back into her jeans. "Real   
women can run circles around men so fast it looks like they're   
standing still."   
  
* * *  
  
Happosai stumbled away from the TV in despair. The day had   
started out so wonderful, but since he'd run into Ranma nothing had   
gone right. He'd had such high expectations for his heir, but that   
incompetent impotent idiot had shown an utter inability to perform. If   
Shampoo hadn't beaten the tar out of him Happosai would have done   
it just for principles sake. His sole consolation had been discovering   
the Bikini Queens of the Beach Volleyball Championship playing on   
TV, but now even that small solace was being denied a poor old man   
by some stupid public announcement urging citizens to avoid   
downtown traffic due to horrible congestion caused by multiple   
pileups (Ironically, the rest of the report which played after Happosai   
stopped paying attention would surely have been to his interest, and   
also had the opposite of intended effect as droves of camera bearing   
men recklessly rushed downtown).  
  
His two other disciples momentarily stopped their game of Go to   
eye their mumbling master warily. Strangely, something felt out of   
place to Happosai, but that was strange in itself, for it was completely   
de rigor for Sound and Genma to be wasting their time with that   
frivolous game… wait a second!   
  
"Genma! You worthless good for nothing, what the hell are you   
still doing here!" screeched Happosai in alarm.  
  
"Uh… well… you see… That list you had Kasumi give me?   
There were a few questions I had about it master, and I didn't wish to   
disturb you from your show you seemed to be enjoying so much   
and…"  
  
"Enough with your pathetic excuses, just what was so unclear   
about it?!" snapped Happosai with impatience.   
  
"Well, just one little thing really," explained Genma, "the   
handwriting. I assure you that Soun and I labored long and hard to   
decipher it, but alas, we unworthy disciples were not equal to the…"  
  
"You probably gave it up after one glance."  
  
"Well, what did the note say master?" asked Soun.  
  
"Yes, tell us master, and with utmost haste we shall make good   
upon its request," groveled Genma.   
  
"'We', Saotome?'"  
  
"The note said… um… it said… hm… I forgot. Let me see that   
thing."   
  
Genma took out the crumpled piece of paper and laid it on the   
floor where all three could see it. "Oh right, now I remember," said   
Happosai as he pointed to the big bold red kanji at the bottom. "It was   
a warning. See, that first kanji says so."  
  
"A warning?" said Genma nervously. "About what?"  
  
"Don't rush me! I'm still working on this second word."  
  
"Hey Saotome? Isn't that Ranma's name?" asked Soun.   
  
"Why so it is Tendo. I'd recognize my own flesh and blood even   
in the master's monstrous script…" Suddenly Genma's face went pale   
and he pointed a trembling finger at the kanji in the middle of the   
warning.  
  
"Saotome? Is something wrong… oh, that looks a little bit like   
Nodoka's name, doesn't it?"  
  
"So we've got "warning"… "Ranma"… and "Nodoka","   
summarized Happosai, who was still stumped on the second symbol.   
Suddenly all three men froze in realization.   
  
"GENMA!!"   
and then vacated the room with startling speed, save for the one   
unfortunate soul who found his gi pinned firmly to the floor by a   
familiar and menacing katana.   
  
*sigh* No, nothing seemed to be going right, thought Happosai   
dejectedly. There was only one cure for this gloom; a good bosom   
nuzzling. Besides, Ranma owed him big time for this morning.   
  
* * *  
  
"Besides, Ranma's so much funner to mess with," added Nabiki.   
"You know, the way you added insult to injury back in the dojo was   
just beautiful; implying that the kiss of marriage had been coldly   
calculated to lead Ranma on just so you could get closer to female   
Ranma. Course, he's probably a bit doubtful about that," admonished   
Nabiki in a way that suggested he wasn't the only one.   
  
"Heh. Nab-chan slipping," tsked Shampoo as she twirled the   
girl's panties on her finger. "Better for Ranma doubt than having   
certainty. Crushing certainty can let go of once accepting, but doubt   
relentlessly plaguing. As long as worrisome possibility persisting, no   
matter how remote Ranma finding, he no be able rest. "Could she be   
better?" "Did she not love me?" Will gnaw at edge of Ranma   
ceaselessly, driving slowly insane, like Chinese water torture. Drip.   
Drip. Dri… Hey! These panties slightly wet!"  
  
"Uh… heh, heh… guess things were just a bit _too_ exciting with   
that close call around the second car wreck, neh?" laughed Nabiki   
nervously, scratching at the back of her head. "Really, there's barely   
anything there. I'm sure you won't even notice once they're on."  
  
Suspicious, but stopping short of sniffing at the suspect stain,   
Shampoo settled for giving Nabiki a derisive grunt as she slipped into   
the silken undergarments. "Now see why greedy girl so hot give   
adulterating goods to Shampoo."   
  
"Now, now, I haven't been in business so long by dealing in cheap   
ass products. Nabiki Tendo only delivers top quality goods and   
services that you'll be hard pressed to find elsewhere. Admit it, they   
feel quite nice, don't they," said Nabiki as she jumped back onto   
Shampoo's bike.  
  
"They is nice," admitted Shampoo, "but… is kinda weird too…"  
  
"Weird?"  
  
"Neverminding. Probably just cause first time wear nother girl's   
panties… Let go," said Shampoo as she climbed back on her bike.   
Still, she couldn't quite shake her slight self consciousness that she   
was in someone else's panties. Perhaps it was that their exquisite style   
reflected their owner's personality so well, or that their fresh warmth   
seemed to convey her lingering presence. Whatever it was, Shampoo   
didn't wish to delve any deeper into it.  
  
"It's sure taking us awhile to get where we're going," noted   
Nabiki as Shampoo began looking for a route back to the main road.   
"Do you have any idea where you're going?"  
  
"Course I do," said Shampoo too quickly, "Sometimes is just best   
taking little back road detours."  
  
"Uh huh. Aren't back road detours supposed to be a little, I don't   
know, scenic?" said Nabiki distastefully as Shampoo swerved around   
a passed out drunk and overflowing dumpster.   
  
"Hey, you is having fun right? And as long as with Shampoo   
have something worth time for watch," smirked the amazon. " 'Sides,   
if have problem with route I take can be getting off anytime want."   
  
"Nah, you're right, all in all I'm having fun. So…" began Nabiki   
as they took off down a side street and she wrapped her arms around   
Shampoo's waist, "now that you've dumped Ranma, what are you   
planning?"  
  
"Planning? I never planning," said Shampoo innocently.   
  
"Forgive me, calling your style any less than plotting doesn't do   
justice to its deviousness. But isn't it a little exciting now that your   
romantic possibilities are wide open?"  
  
"Seem be exciting Nab-chan more than Shampoo."  
  
"I'll confess, your becoming available has made me quite   
excited," whispered Nabiki as she leaned fully against Shampoo.  
  
"H-hey…" gulped Shampoo, finding herself suddenly becoming   
very aware of Nabiki's weight sinking into her back.   
  
"Just thinking about it makes my blood boil," Nabiki whispered   
temptingly into the amazon's crimson ear. "Do you know much the   
guys would pay just for me to introduce them to you? And if I could   
guarantee a date… ooh, it makes me feel all tingling inside. Of   
course I'd give you a cut… not to mention the free meal and movie…"  
  
"Wanna-be-pimp-girl this close get pounding."   
  
"Whoa there girl, I'm just having fun with you. No need to take it   
so seriously. If you don't feel like dating boys I can understand that;   
perhaps you're not as over Ranma as you're pretending to be?"  
  
"If greedy girl so hot for scam, how bout find own date for   
milking dry?" replied Shampoo dryly.   
  
"*sigh* Been there, done that. I used to date a lot, but now a   
days…"  
  
"Heh heh. No can get anymore, neh? Breaking one to many bank   
account. That too rich! Suppose stupid males even learning after be   
used enough," Shampoo laughed.   
  
"Jeesh, I feel like I'm the only one opening up here, and all I'm   
getting is made fun of," huffed Nabiki.  
  
"Sure, like greedy girl actually interested in Shampoo," teased the   
amazon. "You just wanting information for turn next profit. I   
probably meaning much to greedy capitalist pig girl as other boys   
whom squeezing dry then discard. Really expect anyone warming up   
to that?"   
  
"Would you give the greedy girl thing a rest already? You're   
starting to piss me off Shampoo! And for your information smart ass,   
I'm not a capitalist; though I suppose I should expect a commie's grasp   
of economics to be majorly fucked up. The industrial age is giving   
way to the information age, making information the most valuable   
resource. Is there anything wrong with me looking to make a profit on   
the side while having fun?!"   
  
"Depend whether care if keeping others from trusting. Greedy   
girl ever thinking bout anything else?"  
  
"Than money? So I love it. But it's just a mean to an end; I don't   
care about having it, what I love is the acquiring and using of it, both   
of which give me fun and pleasure. The purpose of life is to pursue as   
much pleasure as possible, and with money one can have whatever   
one pleases."  
  
"What bout love?" said Shampoo bitterly. "Could Shampoo have   
bought Ranma heart?"  
  
"Why would you want it?" Shampoo turned back angrily, ready   
to let the Epicurean have it, but stopped short as she saw Nabiki   
staring down at white lines zipping by on the road. "Who in their   
right mind would waste money on love," whispered Nabiki.   
  
"Did you know that in English the word for care is derived from   
words for sorrow and lamentation? The more you care for something,   
the more grief it will bring you. Look at yourself. What good did it   
do you loving Ranma? All it did was end up hurting you. Yet you're   
probably foolishly envying Akane. But look at how often Ranma   
hurts her. He won't be a good bread winner either. All he can do is   
martial arts, but he doesn't have the patience or the empathy to be a   
good teacher. Some good having Ranma's love will do Akane,   
saddling her with a weak wage earner. Then there's that father of his.   
Thanks to youthful infatuation, or "love" for you romantics, Auntie   
Saotome is stuck with that useless scoundrel." Shampoo was   
surprised at the growing venom in Nabiki's voice. "And… and then   
there's my Dad. After the accident… he completely fell apart. It was   
all Kasumi could do to get him to eat enough to keep from starving.   
He got so skeletal that I was afraid he was going to leave us too. For   
months afterwards there'd be times where he'd just sit around staring   
off into space…"  
  
"Kinda like you doing right now?"   
  
"Oh, you think you know everything, don't you smart ass! Well   
then tell me this: what the hell good did love do any of you?! There   
was no profit in it for you, only a loss, making it worth than worthless   
in the end! You'd all be better off if you'd never loved in the first   
place. You wouldn't have ended up so fucking hurt!"  
  
"We here," announced Shampoo as she pulled to a stop in front of   
the one hour photo. "But first…" taking Nabiki by the arm, she pulled   
her and the bike into a nearby alleyway.   
  
"W-what do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Giving Nab-chan answer," said Shampoo as she pulled out a   
bottle of 411 shampoo and started working it into Nabiki's hair. "Is   
better not love so not get hurt, right? Purpose of life have pleasure   
and avoiding pain? So best thing Shampoo can do for Nab-chan is   
erasing memory of Mother, cause loved her, right? Now just relax   
while Shampoo working pressure points, only take couple seconds."  
  
"…DON"T YOU DARE!!" screamed Nabiki as she slapped   
Shampoo away. Stumbling back from the amazon in horror, Nabiki   
clutched at her shivering body as the full weight of what Shampoo had   
been about to do hit her. "Don't you dare touch me!"  
  
"Nab-chan no making sense. Thought said better to not love?   
Suppose could just targeting all memories make you love her."  
  
"…! That'd be the same thing moron! When you love somebody   
you love everything about them, all the time you had together, even   
their faults and the bad times, because without those they wouldn't be   
who they were! Stay the hell away from me!"  
  
"Nab-chan irrational. Contradict self. This help bring back   
calculating sense," said Shampoo as she pulled out a green and white   
comb, offering it to Nabiki. "Is solid jade engrave with pure mother-  
of-pearl. Will trade for Nab-chan memory."  
  
"W-why… why are… you doing this?!" said Nabiki as she began   
hyperventilating.   
  
"Just want help Nab-chan. Why holding on worse than worthless   
memories which cause pain, especially when could have this and get   
much money for get much pleasure?"  
  
"Because… because…" whimpered Nabiki as she collapsed to her   
knees.  
  
"… But Nab-chan won't sell, will she? Wouldn't matter what   
offer, would it? All logic analysis turn out load of crap when push   
come shove. Goddess, intellectual cynics is always so pathetic in   
end… Ya know, Nab-chan lucky have mostly lovely mother   
memories, I don't… but still no would give up…"  
  
"Here. Take these into the shop," ordered Nabiki, looking away   
as she thrust a canister of film at the amazon.  
  
"Shampoo understand," said the amazon sympathetically as she   
took the film, leaving Nabiki alone with herself for awhile.  
Still, her sympathy, and renewed respect for the other girl's pride,   
wasn't going to prevent her from needling Nabiki. "Ground slightly   
wet," noted Shampoo as she returned from dropping off the film,   
"Nab-chan have another little "piss" ?"  
  
"Piss off, smart ass," said Nabiki with a smirk as she stood back   
up. "Hey, Shampoo…"  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"You want to grab a drink while we're waiting for that film?"   
Asked Nabiki as she headed out of the alleyway. Looking back over   
her shoulder she added with a wink, "My treat."  
End of Chapter 7  
To be continued… 


	9. Chapter 8: Palaver

Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
Chapter 8  
"What can I get for you two young ladies?"  
  
"Um…" mumbled Shampoo, biting her lower lip as she scanned   
the menu for something she could read off without the risk of   
mangling the pronunciation and looking stupid. Whoever named   
these drinks had far too much time and imagination on his hands.   
What the hell was a 'Zettai Fuji Ambrosia' supposed to be? It was all   
Greek to her. Maybe the description would shed some light.   
Ultimate vodka drink on the rocks suitable for the gods served by   
maid of honeyed hair? Or not. This was coming across like some   
badly subbed Chinese bootleg. What type of savages put rocks in a   
drink? Or silver for that matter, as some of these crazy concoctions   
had it listed amongst their ingredients. She'd heard of mineral water,   
but this was taking it a bit too far. A lot of the words she was trying   
to figure out might as well be in some totally alien tongue for all the   
sense they made; 'vode-kah', 'teh-ki-lah', 'rume'…   
  
"I'll have a Chocolate Kahlua shake with extra cream," ordered   
Nabiki, winking at the waiter as she discretely slipped a bill into his   
pocket.  
  
"Certainly Nabiki-sama." Then turning to the sweatdropping   
Shampoo he asked if she'd made up her mind yet.  
  
"Uh… you serve pinacolad…?"  
  
"She'll have the same as me."  
  
"All right. That'll be two Chocolate Kahlua shakes with extra   
cream coming right up."  
  
"What Kahlua?" asked Shampoo nervously as the waiter went   
back to mix their drinks.  
  
"The combination of man's two greatest inventions," replied   
Nabiki with a wink. "You'll love it."  
  
"Nab-chan sure? Really, pinacolada be fine. Grandmother warn   
me must be watching out for foreign vice. Says much 'civilizeds'   
food junk no fit for amazon warrior."  
  
"Shampoo, Shampoo…" said Nabiki sadly as she shook her   
head, "Life's too short for sticking to the straight and narrow twenty   
four seven. A real warrior has enough sense of adventure and   
courage to try out new experiences instead of cowardly keeping to   
what they know. There's no growth in that, nor harm in occasionally   
indulging yourself."  
  
"Occasionally, neh? From what see Nab-chan indulge self   
twenty four seven. Always got something in mouth. No stay straight   
and narrow stick if keep that up."  
  
"Who said I'm straight?" asked Nabiki as she stood up profile to   
Shampoo, cupping her breasts and arching her back. "I've got just   
the right amount of curves, wouldn't you say?" Shampoo grudgingly   
nodded as Nabiki turned back toward her with hands on hips.   
"Speaking of curves, how are those panties fitting?"  
  
"…"  
  
"I'll take it by that murderous glare of yours that they're a little   
tight," laughed Nabiki as she sat back down.  
  
"Okay, so my butt little bigger than yours," grumbled a blushing   
Shampoo, "Honestly, no can figure out how Nab-chan keeping such   
great shape."  
  
"Well… I could tell you my secret, for 2500 yen," whispered   
Nabiki.   
  
"… 2000. And not like Shampoo need," the amazon quickly   
added as she slid the money across the table, "just is curious. How   
Nab-chan do it?"   
  
Pocketing the cash, then looking around to make sure no was   
watching, Nabiki leaned in til her lips brushed against Shampoo's ear,   
then slowly whispered, "Nabiki Tendo's top secret, patent pending,   
100% guaranteed or your money back (some exceptions may apply)   
weight loss secret for that big butt or troublesome thighs…"  
  
"Enough with lead in already! And there nothing wrong with   
Shampoo thighs… is there?"  
  
"Certainly not," declared the waiter gallantly as he took the   
opportunity to freely ogle Shampoo's bare thighs. "You've got   
absolutely stunning legs, don't let Nabiki try and tell you otherwise.   
The little vixen is probably trying to con you into buying some   
quack weight loss secret or something." Setting the two large shakes   
on the table, he turned toward Shampoo. "Now I know that rude   
companion of yours, but I don't believe I've had the pleasure of being   
introduced to you. I'm…"  
  
"Yo, Anno, I think that table back there is waiting for their   
check," warned Nabiki as she jerked her thumb back behind her.   
"You wouldn't want to risk losing your tip, now would you?"  
  
"Hai, hai," sighed Anno as he made himself scarce.  
  
"Creep," muttered Nabiki, "That'll cost him several percent, and   
unless he did a bang up job on these shakes he can forget getting   
anything at all."  
  
"Shampoo make up difference then," sniffed the amazon. "I like   
him."  
  
"Oh come on Shampoo, don't tell me you fell for his smooth   
talking bullshit."  
  
"Bullshit? Waiter boy seem right on money regarding Nab-chan.   
You just jealous Shampoo one get hit on."  
  
"You, girlfriend, have just argued your way into paying our tip."  
  
"I be sure make it extra," smirked Shampoo. Compared to the   
cost of a generous gratuity, the involuntary twitch which temporarily   
marred Nabiki's usually mask like face was priceless. Besides, any   
waiter brave enough to risk irking greedy girl deserved a reward in   
Shampoo's book. "Really, greedy girl no should shortchange waiters;   
tough job they have."   
  
"Sure they do Shampoo," said Nabiki sarcastically as she started   
sipping at her drink. "In case you commies screwing around with   
market wages has made you forget, a jobs value is equal to its wage.   
Low wage jobs are those that take no talent and almost anyone can   
do."   
  
"Sure, Nab-chan _could_ do, but _would_ you?"  
  
"Hell no. My times far more valuable than to waste it waiting on   
others. Mmmhh. This drinks soo good," sighed Nabiki.  
  
"So, Nab-chan willing take advantage of service while   
badmouthing it, even though no would be willing provide it self?"   
asked Shampoo angrily. "Should at least respecting labor which let   
you enjoy luxury like drink. Was arrogant attitudes like Nab-chans'   
which causing Revolution in first place!" accused Shampoo as she   
stood to her feet.  
  
"Well at least we Japanese aren't so weak we need our   
government to coddle us like little kids," spat Nabiki.  
  
"Yeah, well how well that working? China been growing round   
8% many years now, how you liking your economy, neh?"  
  
"Just fine," smirked Nabiki. "The deflation's been making the   
money my loans get paid back in more valuable, and they're small   
enough that I don't have to worry much about them defaulting, not   
that I've let that stop me from using the tight money supply as an   
excuse to jack up my interest rates. But you're right," admitted   
Nabiki self-deprecatingly, "Our economy has sucked for the last   
decade or so. And I shouldn't look down on you waiters. Really, I   
do appreciate your service, I just guess it's easy to start taking them   
for granted. So spare me when the proletariat rises up, kay?"  
  
"Sure," smiled Shampoo as she sat back down. "Will snatch   
Nab-chan from get guillotined and make slave instead."  
  
"I could live with that," laughed Nabiki, giving a pleasured sigh   
as she took a long leisurely sip from her drink.  
  
The lull in the conversation forced Shampoo to dubiously face   
hers. Whatever it was, she'd be willing to bet it _wasn't_ going to be   
good for her; certainly it wouldn't get her grandmother's approval as   
part of a healthy young amazon warrior's diet, but well, her   
grandmother wasn't here right now, and, now that she was no longer   
distracted by her heated argument with Nabiki, she couldn't help but   
notice how sinfully delightful was the effervescent scent of her drink;   
like gentle ripples upon a pond of pure pleasure her brain was slowly   
skinny dipping into.   
  
Ambivalence giving way to temptation, Shampoo took the   
plunge. Nabiki chuckled as the amazon's first taste caused her eyes   
to bug out. Coughing from the sheer shock to her system, Shampoo   
stared at her drink dumbfounded. "Aiyah…" panted the amazon in   
disbelief, "is… much intense…"  
  
"Hmmm. Perhaps I misjudged," mused Nabiki as she calmly   
sipped her drink, "Maybe Kahlua is too strong for little Shanchan. If   
you need any help finishing it off I'll be happy to help."  
  
Glaring defiantly at Nabiki, Shampoo picked up her mug and   
quickly downed a succession of large gulps. It was a strong drink,   
but already at her second taste she was beginning to acquire an   
appreciation for this strange blend of foreign flavors, and as her   
coughs subsided a silly grin spread across her outer features as a   
pleasant warmth spread within.   
  
This serene expression was suddenly interrupted by a most   
unmaidenly belch. Shampoo covered her mouth and blushed in   
embarrassment, but immediately her silly grin crept back and her   
hand was unable to contain the giddy giggles that started sneaking   
out past it. [Perhaps I _did_ misjudge] thought Nabiki nervously as   
a sweatdrop formed upon her brow.   
  
"Mmmhhh. Shampoo think getting hang of it," announced the   
amazon as she finished off another gulp without coughing.  
  
"Yep, you sure are. So maybe you should ease up now, you   
know, use that straw thing they put in there…"  
  
"Straws for civilized pansy's," declared Shampoo as she chugged   
down more drink. "We's never bothering with them back home.   
What matter? Kawhatsit to strong for little Nab-chan chug down?"  
  
A brief fantasy of baiting Shampoo into a bet flashed through   
Nabiki's mind. The idea was quickly killed by a sobering image of   
what a few more drinks might do to the amazon. "We are _not_   
getting into a drinking contest Shampoo. You're getting scary   
enough as is. I need you fit to bike us back home once we're done   
with our business down here."   
  
Nabiki shivered at how close her instinct for making a good bet   
had got her to trouble. She probably could drink the amazon under   
the table, but it would have left herself in a worrisome condition.   
The thought of what she might be like if she really let herself go was   
even more disturbing than a drunk Shampoo. Nabiki indulged   
herself frequently, and in many ways, but never to dissipation. She   
prided herself on not letting her desires control her, unlike those   
pathetic losers who were slaves to the soft porn pics she peddled, or   
the mounting interest payments on the debts she let them pile up   
because they were to weak to wait for their wishes to be fulfilled.   
  
"Nab-chan sure this legal? Is so good, could be easy become   
addicted," joked Shampoo.  
  
"True. Then you'll really be needing my weight loss secret."  
  
"Oh yeah… Nab-chan still needing tell. And leave out stupid   
lead in."  
  
"If you insist. Nabiki Tendo's weight loss secret is… drum roll   
please," to Shampoo's irritation, Nabiki insisted on rapping her   
knuckles rapidly against the table. Just as the amazon's patience was   
about to snap, Nabiki brought her crescendo to a climax and divulged   
her secret of "Squid on a Stick!"  
  
"… Squid? That it?!"  
  
"Don't forget the on a stick part, and make sure it's raw. Let me   
tell you, you burn more calories chewing those tough mother suckers   
than you get from digesting them. By the time you manage to finish   
him off your jaw's too tired to take anything else on for awhile, and   
besides, they're filling enough to leave you satisfied."  
  
"Bleah! Shampoo rather have big butt than eating slimy tentacle   
thing."  
  
"Suit yourself. I'll stick with my squid."  
  
"Even _if_ stupid squid keeping from get fat, no healthy way   
Nab-chan eat. Catching up with her someday one way or another."  
  
"Maybe, maybe not. There are a lot of ways to die. Eating   
healthy sure didn't help my mom live any longer," said Nabiki,   
unable to keep a slight trace of bitterness out of her voice. Despite   
her drink having loosened her tongue considerably, Shampoo didn't   
know quite what to say.   
  
"None of us know how long we're going to get. We could be   
going along, minding our own business, and suddenly some idiots in   
North Korea could push a button and incinerate us along with   
everyone else in the city, and…"  
  
"Think they target Okinawa instead, that where main base being,   
neh?"  
  
"Yeah, but there aim with those Taepodong missiles sucks, who   
knows what they'd hit? The point is life's a chancy thing. Hell, my   
mom didn't even get thirty friggin years. For all you know, today   
could be your last, and if it is, you'll sure be feeling stupid for having   
held back from enjoying life's pleasures. …You know, I was with   
my mom when that driver hit us. If the dice had fallen a bit   
differently I could just as easily have ended up dead too. Bam. Just   
like that. Lights out. It's gonna happen eventually, but the reaper   
won't find me with any regrets."   
  
"So Nab-chan no believing in after life?"  
  
"Heh. Afterwards Kasumi told me not to be so sad, that Mother   
had gone to heaven and would happily live there forever with God,   
and I'd get to see her again someday. But at the funeral, a friend of   
the family told me to cheer up; that my mother would be reborn and   
live again, just like the spring green following the dead of winter.   
That confused me, it didn't seem like mother could both stay in   
heaven forever and be reborn at the same time.   
  
"To settle the matter, I asked my Dad whether Mom was in   
heaven or had been reincarnated. He stumbled around for a bit,   
finally trying to console me that Mom would reincarnate. So I asked   
him why we couldn't go find her, wherever she'd be reborn. He   
couldn't give me an answer, he just started crying. People think kids   
are stupid, that they can't pick up on things, but adults would be   
mortified if they really knew how much kids notice. I could tell that   
my Dad didn't really believe what he was saying, that he was just   
trying to make me feel better. That deep down, he felt mother was   
gone. And at that moment I realized I too was mortal."   
  
"As I grew older, the multiplicity of fantastic and often   
contradictory beliefs about life after death reinforced that they were   
all just stories cultures invented to offer a false hope; I'm aware of   
my self because of the activity of my brain, and when that hardware   
stops functioning, that's that. But enough of my gloomy materialism,   
what happens to amazon warrior's when they fall in battle? Do you   
fight glorious wars endlessly in Valhalla, or enjoy the company and   
services of seventy two virgin and virile men in Paradise?"   
  
"… Don't know. Shampoo not so arrogant for assume know   
what final fate being. But is knowing this: I aware of self acting   
under own volition. No explaining those with materialistic   
mechanistics, so concluding Shampoo have immaterial part that   
maybe surviving body."  
  
"Well answered. It _is_ pretty presumptuous to think you've got   
it all figured out, isn't it? Hell, I can't even explain consciousness   
and freewill, despite them being the most vivid and direct reality I   
experience. Trying to deny them away with determinism is more   
ridiculous than most religious faiths. I'd sooner admit to Kasumi that   
God sacrificed himself to himself than believe my immediate   
awareness of the choices I make is all a farce predetermined by some   
primeval Laplace nebula."   
  
There was a slight pause as both girls looked thoughtfully into   
their drinks. Shampoo broke it with a shrug as she drained her mug   
to the last drop, dregs and all. "Death pretty sobering, neh?"   
chuckled the amazon in between coughs. "But if there heaven,   
betting they's have endless supply of feel good drink, neh?"   
  
"So? You think we'd really make the cut?" smirked Nabiki.  
  
"True. True. We's baaad little girls," laughed the amazon. "But   
if Nab-chan go flames-flame place, Shampoo rather too; there be all   
fun intresting folks." Her hair having become disheveled when she'd   
choked on the dregs, Shampoo ran her hand through her purple   
bangs, smoothing them out. Noticing Nabiki smiling at her,   
Shampoo paused mid stroke and gazed curiously back at her.   
  
"W-what?" said a suddenly self conscious Nabiki.  
  
"Is strange. That first time Nab-chan smile seem reaching eyes.   
Makes look much pretty."  
  
Taken aback, Nabiki looked away and blushed. "No. You're the   
one who's beautiful. Even with your pidgin speech and getting   
wasted there's a certain primal purity and grace to everything you   
do."  
  
"What this? Traditional Japnese modesty from Nab-chan? That   
settling it. Must be drugged drinks. Not that stop me from order   
'nother one," said Shampoo as she peered into her empty mug.   
  
"Wait! I don't think that's a good idea…"  
  
"No worry, Shampoo pay for second round."  
  
"That's not what I meant… Here, you can have the rest of mine,   
but that's it, ok?"  
  
"Nab-chan no needing give up drink," protested Shampoo.  
  
"That's okay. I've had enough. When _you_ start looking good   
to me, I know I've had too much," said Nabiki jokingly as she slid the   
half finished drink toward Shampoo. "And how about you use the   
straw this time?"  
  
"That price for drink? Using Nab-chan straw?" said the amazon   
slyly as she formed a V with her fingers and began casually running   
them up and down the shaft of the folding straw, her other hand   
playing with the folded part itself. "Greedy girl liking that, wouldn't   
she?" insinuated Shampoo as she bent over the mug (and exposed   
plenty of her own jugs in the process). "So shy and indirect," sighed   
Shampoo melodramatically as she closed her eyes and slowly   
pressed her lips to Nabiki's straw. Opening one eye, Shampoo   
couldn't resist adding with a wink "Ya know, Shampoo liking drink   
enough Nab-chan probably coulda haggled up for real thing."   
  
Nabiki stared in stunned disbelief at Shampoo as she slurped   
sensuously on the straw. Finally she shook her head, "You are one   
wicked girl, Shampoo. Now cut out those little noises; there's such a   
thing as overkill you know."  
  
"But Nab-chan making pleased noises as used straw," Shampoo   
whined.  
  
"Yes, but it's _far_ more disturbing the way you do it."  
  
"Ah, Nab-chan no fun," pouted Shampoo, "damn Japs all is too   
uptight."  
  
"Outside of the red light district, I'm one of the least uptight   
Japanese you're going to find in Nerima."  
  
"Really? Maybe uptight wrong word, but Nab-chan can be quite   
Ice-Queen; is similar, neh? Why think no get dates? Cause soul   
stays frigid. Bet Nab-chan never even get real kissed," said Shampoo   
as she plucked the straw from her drink and waved it accusingly at   
Nabiki. "Guys giving up if no show any affection."  
  
"As an amazon you wouldn't understand," sighed Nabiki. "You   
live in a world where woman outrank men. But it's a whole different   
story in the real world, especially here in Japan. Start to give a man   
access to your body, even just your lips, and he starts to think of you   
as his possession. He wants you to be his; to own you. Pretty soon   
he thinks he's entitled to expectations of you. I won't let my freedom   
be tied down like that."  
  
"But love where you belonging body and soul to another, neh?   
And they complete belong to you?"   
  
"Puuhleease, Shampoo. You're to smart to buy into all that   
romanticism. I'd have thought your relationship with Ranma would   
have taught you by now it's all just so much bullshit."  
  
"Then what _is_ love?" asked Shampoo plaintively.   
  
For some reason, Nabiki found herself becoming irritated by the   
sincerity of the amazon's question. "It's a chimera Shampoo. Just a   
flashy show of electric chemical fireworks in the brain, kicking up   
enough smoke in that hall of mirrors to conceal the real purpose of   
passing on our genes. Once that's done, the magic glow from those   
fireworks fade."  
  
"Nab-chan… really believing that?"   
  
"C'mon, I'm sure you amazons know what men are really like.   
What "love" is to them. It's been real clear to me ever since I found   
out how much I could make off Ona-Ranma pics. They take us out   
on dates cause they hope to 'take us' in their beds."  
  
"Not all man like that! Ranma not!"  
  
"He's a spineless wimp. Wait til he gets his first taste of that   
forbidden fruit, then see what he's like. If the Juesynko curse didn't   
short circuited his sex drive that is."  
  
"No. Ranma not get so embarrassed if not feeling anything. He   
healthy young male, but have much honor… and unfathomable will;   
not let self be ruled by "electric chemical" soup; he better than that!"   
Shampoo was now positively snarling at Nabiki. "Ranma would no   
sleep with girl he no loving! …!" Shampoo slumped back into her   
seat with a look of surprise on her face.  
  
"I suppose no one knows that better than you," admitted Nabiki   
slyly.  
  
"Shut up!" snarled the amazon as she clutched at her head. "Just   
shut fuck up. There something fucking wrong with you which rub   
Shampoo wrong way. Goddess… how can now admiring what   
_was_ so lack of fucking frustrating?" wondered Shampoo aloud as   
she held up her suddenly heavy head. "Know what?" said the   
amazon as she regained her bearings. "Nab-chan wrong bout lots of   
stuff. Those fireworks? They no fading. When real, they searing   
feelings and face of beloved on heart, forever; like painful flames of   
hell. And will always be hurting til day we die. Cause real love   
lasts. And Nab-chan knowing all this even better than I. Shampoo   
no understand what is love, family, or friendship, but that closer than   
Nab-chan is. And _I_ still willing keep looking."  
  
""He who admits he knows nothing knows more than anyone   
else", eh? Really, I'm the wrong person to ask about love," confessed   
Nabiki sympathetically. "Maybe that true love stuff does happen to a   
few very fortunate people, but it's very rare; like winning the lottery.   
Don't bank on it. For every wild stallion out there (not that he's a   
worthwhile catch) there are plenty more wolves."  
  
"Funny how Pleasure Queen keep insulting men. What bout   
her? Surely she have amorous desires too, neh? You Japs pretend be   
so upright in public, but bet you is real perverts behind close doors."  
  
"No more so than you, I'd imagine," replied Nabiki. Pleased to   
see Shampoo blush in response, Nabiki decided to press in further.   
"I'll confess, I indulge myself at least once an evening, but unlike   
_some_ people, it's not a vulgar caving in to my desire. When I do it,   
I do it gladly, stylishly, and of my own free will," Nabiki declared   
huskily.  
  
"Y-you… you shameless wench!"  
  
"Hypocrite."  
  
"No compare us! Shampoo not like you! Have supposed-be-  
husband, was okay for me having fantasies, right? Tried waiting for   
longest time, but became so frustrating, then took only one moment   
weakness…"  
  
"And you haven't been able to stop doing it since, neh?" laughed   
Nabiki.   
  
"Stop laugh! I not that bad, certainly no do anywhere near as   
much as Pleasure Queen," sniffed Shampoo as she turned up her nose   
at Nabiki.  
  
"Sure, but _I_ freely choose when I do it," repeated Nabiki as   
she amusedly looked down her nose at Shampoo, "so which of us is   
_really_ the stronger?" [suck on that my little barbarian princess]   
"Anyway, there are a lot worse habits you could have. It's nothing to   
be ashamed of. Virtually every single guy does it, even your   
"virtuous" Ranma I'd bet."  
  
"But we's supposed be stronger than those base animals!"   
  
"Okay. Fine. If you want to feel guilty, be my guest. Just don't   
go condemning the rest of us. It's a safe outlet for the passions; no   
need to worry about diseases or getting weighed down with a brat."  
  
"Nab-chan regret calling em brats when she have own brood   
someday," admonished Shampoo.  
  
Nabiki raised her eyebrow. "My own brood? Why would I tie   
myself down like that?"  
  
Shampoo looked at Nabiki in shock. "Nab-chan can't mean…   
surely not saying no have…"  
  
"Brats? No thanks, that's one hassle I can do without. Taking   
care of some smelly, helpless, whiny infant is hardly my idea of a   
good time. Why waste my ability and life being a mere housewife?   
It'd really cramp my style."  
  
Now Shampoo knew there was a wide cultural gap between the   
two of them, but _this_ felt alien not just to her own tribes teachings,   
but to universal law itself, and it deeply disturbed her. "How… how   
you say that? You is women, right? Why you think Goddess giving   
you womb?!"  
  
"Blind evolution gave it to me, but it's utterly uncaring for my   
happiness, in fact often running contrary to it, so why should I care   
for it's "agenda"? As a conscious feeling being my happiness is sure   
as hell more important than whatever you think unfeeling impersonal   
nature "wants" of me. In the end the only one I have to answer to is   
myself."   
  
"Now Shampoo certain; something very wrong with Nab-chan,"   
said the amazon as she shook with barely contained fury. "Thank   
Goddess I not atheist; you live in smallest, bleakest, meaningless   
world imaginable. Make me feel sick!"  
  
There is a sadistic glee which can be found in outraging other's   
sensibilities, and Nabiki was relishing it. With a shit eating grin she   
continued to expound her cosmology. "You're the one who's wrong.   
My world does have meaning; not that there's any inherent purpose   
to the universe, but that's even better because it leaves me free to   
make up my own; the universe exists to amuse Nabiki Tendo."  
  
"…That ridiculous!" sputtered Shampoo.  
  
"No more than any other meaning one tries to ascribe to creation.   
At least it keeps the world from looking bleak when it exists all for   
me."  
  
"That so? We free make up meaning for universe?" Suddenly   
Shampoo lashed out and grabbed Nabiki by her collar. "What if   
Shampoo deciding universe exist for abuse Nabiki Tendo, neh?   
Maybe it amusing me to smash open stupid girls head just for see   
how much shit in there! That type of world you want live in?!"  
  
"Cut the crap Shampoo," said Nabiki as she bravely looked into   
the amazon's angry eyes. "You're one of the last people with the   
right to get all righteous on my ass. I've got rules in my world. My   
rules. Maybe they aren't your type of rules, but I could care less   
considering how you bend and break your tribal law whenever it   
suits you, while I've at least got the honor to always play by my   
personal code of conduct."  
  
"For example, I've never killed anyone, and I don't intend to try;   
the cruel brevity of my life makes me realize how precious it is, and   
if there's no afterlife, extinguishing even a single soul is an   
unimaginably horrible thing to do. You on the other hand have tried   
to kill my sister simply because she was in your way. So which one   
of us is the more moral? Oh ho, nice face your making there.   
There's a beautiful purity to your anger, but you can't answer me, can   
you? You even would like to kill me."   
  
Snarling with impotent rage, Shampoo focussed her attention on   
the trembling white knuckles of her hand with the death grip on   
Nabiki's collar. Digging her nails in, Shampoo only was able to relax   
her grip once a trickle of blood started running down her palm. "Like   
Nab-chan ever tested or overcoming temptation," whispered the   
amazon as she turned away.   
  
"I'll admit I'm impressed," said Nabiki as she straightened out   
her crinkled collar, "for a backwater barbarian you're remarkably   
bright. Seems Cologne's done a beautiful job training her heir's mind   
as well as body. If you two gals are typical examples of the leaders   
your people produce, I can see how your culture has lasted so long.   
However, perhaps you're now grasping that it's your world that's been   
the small one; limited to your people, while mine is a wide open   
world of absolute freedom. Don't be sore that you can't keep up with   
such an unshackled mind," Nabiki said patronizingly as she placed   
her hand on Shampoo's shoulder. "It's only natural for the civilized   
to overcome barbarians."  
  
"Shampoo suppose Nab-chan win that battle," sighed the amazon   
as she lightly placed her hand atop Nabiki's. As Shampoo turned   
around, head bent humbly, she felt Nabiki's pulse quicken when she   
intertwined their fingers. "But in end…" Shampoo placed Nabiki's   
hand over her heart, let her have one last feel, then coolly dropped it,   
"she all 'lone; Nab-chan world only big as her cuz she only one in it,   
and when she gone so be world, as if never existing." Now Shampoo   
raised her head, revealing an icy gaze and cruel smirk that seemed to   
freeze the space between the two into an impenetrable wall of ice.   
"And so to fall "civlized" world too cuz of such selfish persons."  
  
Even though Shampoo was standing aloof from her, Nabiki felt   
like she was being advanced upon as the amazon's words crept   
glacially across the gulf separating them. Nabiki opened her mouth   
to find the words to fend off the amazon's accusations, but all there   
was inside was a black void that seemed to freeze her tongue. The   
coldness spread through her body, making her shiver in dread; there   
was nothing now between her and that glacier bearing down on her.   
Slowly but surely it was going to crush her under icy oblivion, and   
all she could do was watch in horror, her feet being frozen to the   
floor. Nabiki looked desperately at the last part of her body that still   
had some warmth; the hand which Shampoo had pressed to her heart,   
but even that heat was rapidly dispersing, a bloodstained blotch being   
all that was left behind.   
  
"In end we barbarian always wins," declared Shampoo   
triumphantly as she finished off her second drink. "Shampoo   
ancestors with Alexander when he crushing Persian empire. And   
before that we impressed in half barbaric Macedonian army which   
subjating civlized Greece. Developed democrazies think so   
advanced, neh? But they always fall *hic* fascist. Quickest way   
running country in ground is let people rule. For they mostly either   
stupid, or selfish," accused Shampoo with an askance glance at   
Nabiki.   
  
"Heard industrial countries growth being below replacement   
level, now understanding why. Nab-chan no have kids cuz they   
inconvenent, neh? And other ambitious able people have few or no   
kids too. Country no last long with strong blood thinning out that   
way, specially when dumb people then out breeding better half. That   
dysgenics inevitably destroying. You getting dumb and dumber each   
year as economies needing smarter 'n smarter people. Going be too   
easy for China conquer world."   
  
"Hold on a minute. Our birthrates below replacement level for   
the same reason as China's; it's way to damn crowded. I don't think   
we're experiencing dysgenics though, there's a lot of pressure on the   
lower class not to breed. So I'm afraid your not going to find a bunch   
of apes here if you decide to invade."   
  
"Who say we needing use force?" grinned Shampoo. "Japan   
may discourage dysgenics, but her trading partners 'nother matter,   
neh? Not much safety net here for folks who no cutting it, but   
western white devils _pay_ useless foreign fleas for breed and feed   
upon body of their countries. White devils dying race, soon their   
once strong blood being drained and her countries collapsing, leaving   
China for regaining glory of brightest jewel on crown of Mother   
Goddesses' earth! Mwhahahahaha!"  
  
"If you want to sound credible instead of like a crackpot, I   
suggest you leave off the maniacal laughter next time."  
  
"Sorry, is obligatory with reveal plan for world domination. And   
Shampoo just get so excited at thought of west's grisly demise and   
Chinese manifest destiny leading East for become seat of new world   
power."  
  
"You're quite the racist, aren't you?"  
  
"Racist, moi? Shampoo about as mongrelized as an Asian gets.   
Our women marry any foreign man who prove his blood the stronger.   
China problem was to homogenous, no had enough variety of ideas   
like in Europe. But now world opening up and we importing best of   
west, like market economy, and avoiding dumb delusions like   
egaltarianism. It obvious fact race's different. We in East always   
known that bloodline much important, but somehow west forget.   
Think can make weak bloodline equal just with change environment,   
no matter how much decades and billions they wasting with nothing   
for show. Talk 'bout fatal meme. Thank Goddess we Chinese   
smarter than dumb white devils. Really, racist just like nationalist, is   
virtue, not sin. Nationalist proud of and loving nation. Racist proud   
of and loving her race. Any people losing those virtues doomed.   
And why should I no be proud? Chinese greatest race."   
  
"Granted, we Northeast Asians have higher IQ's than whites, but   
if you Chinese are some   
"master race" why are we Japanese so far ahead of your country,   
neh?"  
  
"Japs just got head start cuz mainland easier invading than   
island. You able start modernizing while damn Brits oppressing us   
under heavy yoke. Only recently we driving out foreign tyrants, and   
is now quickly catching up. Mainland/island advantage now   
reversing. Japs lost chance be great power when we drive off   
mainland and got ass kicking by Merikans. Is now has-been like   
Brits; stuck on island, no have nuff natural resources, while China   
have tons. You need trade just for sustaining self, and what happen   
when socialist welfare states of west collapsing under burden of   
growing useless class of parasites, neh? China meanwhile growing   
greater and greater. Have drove last Brits from Hong Kong."  
  
""Drove?" They willing left Shampoo, even though Hong Kong   
desperately wanted them to stay."  
  
"And have reunified Tibet with Motherland."  
  
"Uh, Shampoo, it's only a reunification if both parties want it. If   
your soldiers have to slaughter people it's called a conquest."  
  
Unhearing, Shampoo continued to extol her Motherland's   
expansions with a fanatical gleam in her eyes, "And in process of   
regaining Siberia too."  
  
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that belong to the   
Russians?"  
  
"No! They stole from us! We there thousands years first before   
murdering thieves take while we too busy with Opium War for stop   
them. And now that we is strong our people pouring into north for   
reclaim what ours."  
  
"You think the Russians are just going to let you do that?"  
  
"Nothing they can do. Have Moscow scared shitless. In couple   
genrations we outnumber them 200 to 1 in Siberia, what they able do   
then? From middle school all Chinese trained in war, they no will be   
able drive us out. Even have some amazons up there for launching   
guerilla attacks on greedy confiscating pig cops."  
  
"Okay, so the demographics favor you, but why on earth would   
you want Siberia in the first place? It's a frozen wasteland!"   
  
"Not quite. Parts are arable, and we much needing more food   
and space for all our people. And the oil is icing on cake. But best   
part is once Siberia ours, all need do is back North Korean commies   
bid for reunifying Korean Peninsula."  
  
"So?"  
  
"Nab-chan no see? Shampoo thought you bright enough follow   
big picture if Siberia and South Korea falling."   
  
Irritated, Nabiki checked the mental map inside her head, then   
let out an exclamation as she understood the purpose of Shampoo's   
plot. "Oy…!"   
  
"Now you see!" cackled Shampoo. "We be able block Japs from   
coastline! Without west for trading and us embargo east coast your   
poor wittle island all cut off. Will have submit to being Province in   
Chinese New Pan-Asiatic Empire! OHOHOHOHOHO!"  
  
"That laugh wasn't any better," groaned Nabiki. "Anyway, I'm   
sure you find all your megalomaniac speculations fascinating, but I'll   
wait until it actually starts happening before I start to worry."  
  
"Wouldn't want little thing like Rome burning spoil Nab-chan   
have good time, neh?" said Shampoo patronizingly. "Disgusting.   
Writing clearly on wall. Industrial democrazies doomed. Freedom   
they give is freedom for being selfish and ignore duty to future of   
race and country. That why greedy girl make me sick and is wrong.   
Her game plan _may_ work for her happiness, but is hollow   
happiness; in end come to nothing and destroying her people."   
  
"Is very sad. All ancestors choose have children for carrying   
torch on into future, that choice giving you life, but Nab-chan will no   
repay that debt and betraying hopes of ancestors; fire go out for good   
with her. But I not die. Shampoo part of tribe, part of race, part of   
China, and especially being part of future children. Even after I   
gone, as long as they having future, so do I. And as children have   
children, and those children have children, on into forever, the fire of   
Shampoo soul keep expanding into eternity, never going out. That   
how big my world is! But greedy girl world just her, and it vanish   
like never existing with her. No matter how much yen you manage   
make, you never coming near infinite treasures I have! Sayonara."   
With that, Shampoo whirled around and made for the restaurant door.   
  
"…arrogant backwater bitch, what's she know?" muttered Nabiki   
as she watched Shampoo's retreating figure. Deciding not to pay any   
more attention to the amazon, Nabiki looked around the rest of the   
restaurant. It was pretty busy, plenty of couples on dates or gangs of   
friends filled the restaurant with their chatter and laughter. Watching   
from the shadowy secluded corner of her favorite table, Nabiki   
couldn't feel any connection to it at all. None of these people meant   
anything particularly important to her, and she was sure the lack of   
feeling was mutual. Brrrr. It was getting all cold again. "Hey!   
Shampoo, wait up!"  
  
"*ahem*," coughed Anno as Nabiki tried to leave the table.   
"You were intending to pay for those drinks, weren't you?"  
  
"Hey! Get your ass back here hussy! You were supposed to   
cover the tip!"  
  
* * *   
  
Afterward…  
  
"That quick," said Shampoo smugly as Nabiki caught up to her.  
  
"*gasp* Wipe that smirk *pant* off your face. It's not like I got   
lonely or anything *pant* Just collecting that tip you owe me *pant*"  
  
"Oops. Sorry, was so mad forgot Shampoo agreed pay it."  
  
"Yeah, I guess we both got mad enough to say some things we   
regret, neh?"  
  
"Shampoo meant everything she said."  
  
"… Anyway, you'll be happy to know I tipped that playboy   
waiter of yours. Even a bit extra."  
  
"So how much I owing Nab-chan for tip?"  
  
"Five thousand yen," said Nabiki with a straight face.  
  
"Like hell," laughed Shampoo. "Let see that receipt."  
  
"Ah, forget it. I was in such a hurry I didn't get the receipt. Just   
gave him a large bill and told him to keep the change. Figured it was   
cheaper than losing you and having to pay taxi fare to get home."  
  
"Of course," said Shampoo as she rolled her eyes.   
  
"But if you want to make it up to me," suggested Nabiki as she   
draped an arm over Shampoo's shoulder, "I know this stand in a   
nearby park whose ice cream is just to die for."  
  
"*sigh* Devil girl. You's mission corrupting Shampoo with   
civilization, isn't it?"  
  
"Of course," whispered Nabiki as she leaned in closer. "And you   
know you want it baby. Wait til you see all the flavors of chocolate   
they've got for you to choose from. You'll think your in heaven."  
  
*sigh* Shampoo had a feeling chocolate was going to end up   
like that other bad habit she'd picked up since coming here; a vice   
she'd be unable to prevent her self from occasionally indulging in.   
With only token resistance, she allowed Nabiki to start steering her   
toward the dark…er… park.   
  
  
"um…those speeches you made were pretty good," admitted   
Nabiki awkwardly as the two of them sat down with their ice cream   
cones near a pond. "You'll make a great politician and leader in your   
tribe. You've got oratory down pat. I can't stand to listen to our own   
politician's posturings; they're so obviously fake and manufactured,   
but there's a real fiery sincerity to your speech when you get going.   
Not that you're not a hypocrite," Nabiki quickly added, "but that's   
part and parcel of being a good politician too. You may be part of   
some Ubermensh race that's going to conquer the world, but your not   
as righteous as you try and sound, and you couldn't even conquer one   
man. So much for your desire to spread your "superior" genes."  
  
"Ouch. Devil girl really want let wind out Shampoo's sails,   
neh?"  
  
"Well, I'm just repaying the favor. You need it."  
  
"Yeah, Shampoo real arrogant bitch, ain't she? That what   
tribemates think too, probably hate me guts. Realizing that after lost   
out to Akane. For all Shampoo advantages, Ranma choosing Devil   
girl's ordinary sister. Cuz in end she really is good person, and I is   
selfish bitch. Guess being good is counting for something after all."  
  
"Ah, don't sweat it. You'll get used to being a selfish bitch, we   
have a lot more fun."   
  
"Gah. How Nab-chan become such devil when having such   
good sisters?"  
  
"Now, now, Akane _is_ a good person, but you know she's sure   
as hell no saint. And you might think Kasumi's perfect, but she's not.   
She really harped on Akane about her tomboyishness and me on my   
greediness when we were growing up. Still, I suppose I owe her for   
cutting off my allowance to try and teach me a lesson; it forced me to   
find ways to make my own money. We've had some really nasty   
sibling quarrels over the years, but I'm partially to blame. I really   
resented her stepping into mom's role, and she could never measure   
up to the mother I'd enshrined in my memory. It's not fair really, she   
had to take on responsibility for keeping our household afloat at far   
to young an age, but I was too childish to look at it objectively. She's   
really mellowed since she finished high school and there's been less   
pressure on her."  
  
"Oh," said Shampoo thoughtfully, then added, "But she still is   
good woman, isn't she."  
  
"Yeah, she is," admitted Nabiki with a hint of admiration.   
"Unlike us."  
  
"True," chuckled Shampoo. "Here a toasting for us selfish   
bitches," Shampoo declared as she raised her ice cream cone.  
  
"To selfish bitches!" echoed Nabiki as she clunked her cone   
against Shampoo's.  
"KAMPAI!"  
End of Chapter 8   
To be continued in Chapter 9:  
Who's ya Sensei  
Ranma's determined to teach Shampoo just who's the student and   
who's the Sensei, and this time he's not going to hold anything back.   
But Shampoo's got her own special techniques too. It's going to be a   
brutal no holds barred battle to the bitter end, determining just what   
their new relationship to each other is. Don't miss it! 


	10. Chapter 9: Who's ya Sensei

Ranma ½ and it's characters are the creation and property of Rumiko Takahashi-sama and various other entities, none of whom happen to be me. I'm simply using them without permission, but I promise to put them all back when I'm done, except possibly for Shampoo;) My other works can be found at http://www.angelfire.com/anime5/ficaleb Feedback may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com Support quality fanfic; subscribe to http://www.faniac.com   
  
Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law By: Kaleb  
  
Chapter 9 Who's Ya Sensei  
  
[Well, this sucks] sighed Ranma as he tapped his fingers against the pagoda by the koi pond…  
  
* * *  
  
Earlier that day…  
  
"Hey pop! Get your lazy ass out of bed and lets spar!" called Ranma up to the window of his parents room.   
  
"Oh, your fathers not here Ranma," came his mother's voice from the kitchen.  
  
* * *  
  
The flashbacking continues…  
  
"blah blah blah [insert excuse] blah blah blah [insert justification] yadda yadda yadda beg beg…"  
  
"Oh for Kami's sake," groaned Noodka, "I'll forgive you…" Anything to stop his pathetic groveling. Besides, there was nothing to be learned from his most likely extemporaneous explanation/excuses; she couldn't trust a word of it. Supposedly, stealing Ukyo's dowry had been the only alternative to starvation, and had been Ranma's decision anyway, same as with the "training accident" which had scarred her son with a most unmanly phobia. She doubted double checking with Ranma would clear the matter up any; he'd been vague himself to her solicitous queries earlier. [It's as if there scared of me for some reason] thought Noodka sadly as she removed her katana from her husband's gi [but for the life of me I can't figure out why]. Oh well, she didn't really want to know the truth; at least this way she could go ahead and pretend they were being honest with her. And it wasn't how the mess had happened, but how they dealt with it which really mattered.  
  
"On one condition. We need to provide recompense for Ukyo's dowry. Here's today's classifieds."   
  
"S-surely you don't mean for me to get a j-j…" Genma stammered in horror.  
  
"Job? If you want to show your face around here again, dear. We can't presume on the Tendo's goodwill forever; it'd be a disgrace to us Saotomes to be such a burden on our most gracious hosts. Now here's a lunch I packed for you and a bus pass," said Noodka with a beguiling smile as she pressed the bento and bus pass into her hesitant husband's hands. "Don't let me see you until you've got good news."  
  
"Wait, that means I'll have to get up early each morning," whined Genma.  
  
"Uh huh." Nodded a smiling Noodka.  
  
"And… and… if I have to wait until you've gone to bed before coming home we can't…"  
  
"Exactly. Unless you want me to introduce you to _my_ sword, dear," said Noodka pointedly, tapping Genma's chest with her katana. "So as I said, don't wake me up unless you've got good news. If that's the case, I may even be in the mood to "celebrate"," Noodka added with a wink.   
  
"Well, I better get going!" said Genma as he, having suddenly finding his motivation, stood erect. "Wish me well," and with that Genma took off.  
  
"See you later dear!" Noodka called to his retreating figure as she waved her husband goodbye.   
  
* * *  
  
"Great, pop won't be around for training til he finds a job," grumbled Ranma. "Which will be about as soon as pigs fly. But I need someone to spar…" Suddenly Ranma's head swiveled around, a movement in the corner of his vision having caught his attention.  
  
Akane, dressed in her gi instead of her usual jogging shorts, had just come downstairs. But it wasn't his fiance, but rather who was accompanying her, that had caught Ranma's attention. "Why ya little…! I thought I already warned ya to give it up!"  
  
"Huh, what are you talking about Ranma? Warned me…? Hey!" protested Akane as she backed up slightly from her charging fiance.   
  
"Think ya could get away with sneaking back in Ryoga? Stop sneaking around and be a man!"  
  
KWEEEE! Ranma's spinning punt sent P-chan flying out of sight. "Moron, he's got a girlfriend now, he's gotta cut this crap out…"  
  
*THUD* "Ranma, how dare you pick on poor P-chan like that!" yelled Akane in outrage as she slammed Ranma's face into the floor. "You brute! And stop yelling at Ryoga! Uh, just where is he," said Akane as she looked around for the lost boy.  
  
"I can't believe someone could be so oblivious to the obvious," muttered Ranma as he picked himself up off the floor. "Now if I could just find someone to fill in for pop…"  
  
"Well, now that you mention it," began Akane nervously, not looking directly at Ranma, "I was thinking perhaps it was time I stopped practicing just on bricks…"  
  
"Yeah, bricks are nothing. You've certainly got the strength to move on to boulders," said Ranma as he pulled on his squashed nose, straightening it out from his face. "Can be real useful in a fight too; overpowered opponents like Ryoga really like tossin' those things around."   
  
"…that's not what I meant," said Akane with exasperation. "I was thinking something more dense."  
  
"Metal?"  
  
"No! You moron!"  
  
"Well why the hell are you telling me about your training if ya just want to insult me and ignore my suggestions?! Look, I don't care what you do for training, so why don't ya just run along now. I've got my own _important_ training to figure out here," Ranma said as he turned away from Akane and started throwing practice punches.  
  
"Trying to figure out how to defeat Shampoo?" suggested Akane.  
  
Ranma quickly whirled back around, "I already told ya yesterday; that wasn't a real fight! I was going easy on Shampoo and she took advantage of it. That's all! I didn't realize she could paralyze with one pressure point attack like the old ghoul, else I never woulda let any of her attacks inside my guard. And ya can be sure I won't let her pull any cheap tricks like that in our next fight!"  
  
"So just when is Shampoo coming over?" Akane asked. "Is it true that your training her?"  
  
"Yeah," shrugged Ranma. "But I don't know when that slacker student plans to show up next. Nor do I care."  
  
"Well, if your going to be teaching her anyway, do you think I could maybe… um, join in?"  
  
Ranma looked at Akane incredulously. "Have you been paying any attention Akane? I'm training _Shampoo_ here! This aint no beginners class; you'd just slow things down, which is the last thing I need."  
  
"So you'll train Shampoo, but not me?" said Akane, obviously hurt. "I'm not good enough for you?"  
  
"Look Akane, why the hell do you think I'm doing this in the first place?! It's sure as hell not because I want to be spending time with that crazy bitch. The sooner I train her, the sooner that airhead will go back to China and be out of our way, so the last thing we need is some slow klutz holding up the class…"  
  
"SLOW KLUTZ?!"  
*SMASH* *WHACK*  
"CRAZY AIRHEAD BITCH?!"  
  
Over Ranma's crushed body, the two girls looked at each other in surprise.   
  
"S-shampoo? W-when did…" stuttered Akane.  
  
"Long nuff be glad jerk boy no longer Shampoo fiance. That real nice hook you hitting him with," complemented the Amazon.  
  
"No, I'm sure it was your jump kick that leveled him, you've got a lot more power than I do."  
  
"No sell self short, Akane have lots power, specially when get mad. Shampoo no would want be on receiving end of violent girl's mallet strikes. If polished technique, would be quite the warrior."  
  
"Like that'll ever happened," said Akane bitterly. "Ranma's right, I'm to much of a klutz to ever acquire that polished grace of a real martial artist. I'd just waste his time trying to learn it. You two enjoy your class." Akane turned to leave, but was stopped by Shampoo's hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Hey! Why Akane let stupid Ranma discourage, what that idiot know? Akane have much potential."  
  
"D-do you really mean that?"  
  
"Course Shampoo do. Last time we fight saw Akane have talent, just never been properly trained, neh?"  
  
"Well, compared to what Ranma's father put him through, my dad's training was nothing; I don't think dad could go hard on me if he tried. And of course Ranma's never been any help; he won't take me seriously at all," complained Akane.   
  
"No take so personal, is that Akane women; whole culture itself no take seriously. Too bad she not born Amazon, we'd have made real warrior of her."  
  
"Thanks, but I'd rather not have to marry any stranger who defeated me," joked Akane.  
  
"Yeah, just need marry who ever parents pick instead. Like that any better. At least we play part in decision by our fighting talent, and husband earn us by own merits."  
  
"Sure, the merit of being able to beat you up; how unromantic can you get?"   
  
"Hey, at least kind of "exciting", neh?" said Shampoo with a wink.  
  
"No, unless you happen to be some S&M pervert."  
  
"*tsk* Well, _some_ girls so uptight 'n proud probably only way they ever get laid is for man take matter in own hands," said Shampoo as she shrugged her hands.   
  
"You'd better be talking about your own people there," Akane challenged as she crossed her arms.  
  
"heh heh, true that describing many us Amazons," giggled Shampoo as she looked Akane over. "You know, more I think about it more can't help thinking Akane have made perfect Amazon."  
  
"I suppose coming from you I ought to take that as a complement," Akane said slyly.  
  
"And ordinarily wouldn't be?" questioned Shampoo sweetly.  
  
"Interpret it as you like."  
  
*sigh* "At least if Akane been Amazon we might not have ended up such enemies," sighed Shampoo wistfully. "Maybe even… hey, Akane? If you's really serious bout wanting more training, Shampoo willing train with."  
  
"Really?!" said Akane eagerly, then stopped and looked suspicious, "wait, just why do you want to help me anyway?"  
  
"Jeesh, think I have ulterior motive for everything?" pouted the amazon. "Maybe Shampoo just think it'd be fun. Maybe thinking time I start trying make some friends stead of having everyone here hate Shampoo."  
  
"Shampoo…" said Akane, taken aback. Then she quickly bowed in apology. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize… I should be grateful for your generous offer to train me… it's not that I hate you, it's just I have a hard time trusting you; I still can't quite bring myself to believe that you'd really give up on Ranma."  
  
"No, Shampoo should be one apologizing," confessed the amazon as she looked at the ground. "I's sorry for how treated Akane, no deserve be trusted. And you's right, Shampoo is having ulterior motive," admitted the amazon as she looked up smugly, "Figure will really get Ranma's goat."  
  
"Heh, I should have known you were using me for your own end," laughed Akane, "but for once you've got a motive I can get behind. If that jerk doesn't want me to train with him then I'll just go ahead and train with you. That'll show him. So what's first teach?"  
  
"Well, Amazon warrior always have weapon she specializing in…" began Shampoo as the two girls headed toward the Dojo.   
  
"And just where do you think you're going?" growled a voice behind the girls.   
  
Without looking back, Shampoo replied, "Me and Akane-chan going do training. If want, Ranma can join, but since is Amazon techniques, session being girls only group."  
  
"And just when did _you_ become in charge of training?"  
  
"Since _we's_ knocked you out." giggled Shampoo.   
  
"Yeah," chimed in Akane as she looked back over her shoulder at her glaring fiance, "someone who gets beat up by his students hardly deserves to be called Sensei, wouldn't you say Shampoo-Sensei."  
  
"True, true," nodded the amazon.   
  
"Akane, you stay out of this," warned Ranma. "I made a promise to train Shampoo, and I'm going to fulfill it, no matter how insubordinate she gets. But we both know Shampoo can't be trusted to live up to her side of the bargain. I don't want you alone with her; training "accidents" are a perfect way to get rid of someone who's in the way."  
  
_This_ got Shampoo to acknowledge Ranma. Turning around, she walked over and slapped him, cutting his lip. "How dare Ranma… All fiance wanted was spend time with you, but to much bother for selfish jerk boy show enough respect to train her! Jerk boy have no right now say anything since wasn't willing work with her in first place! If Akane want train with Shampoo, that our choice; none of your business what we do together!"  
  
"Wrong. She's my fiance and you're my student," stated Ranma as he wiped the blood from his lip. "It's my duty to defend her and discipline you." Throwing down the gauntlet, he slapped Shampoo back. *KA-SLAP* "Whadda say we settle who's the Sensei, here and now?"  
  
"Well, suppose fem boy can sometimes be man after all," smirked Shampoo as she felt her bruised cheek. "Very well, I accepting your challenge, on one condition; we spicing it up with little wager." Pacing backwards until she reached Akane, Shampoo placed her arm around the other girl. "Akane being prize."  
  
"H-hey!" exclaimed Akane in surprise.  
  
"No worry," whispered the amazon into Akane's ear. "Shampoo know what doing. Just enjoy the being fought over. Is fun!" Then aloud, "Whomever winning get to train Akane, deal?" challenged Shampoo, now entwining both her arms possessively around the duel's blushing prize, who though thankful, was wishing Shampoo wouldn't get quite so carried away with her acting calculated to annoy Ranma.  
  
[At lest she _better_ be acting] thought Akane nervously as Shampoo tightened her grasp to keep Akane from squirming. Tilting Akane's chin up, the amazon mocked Ranma, "Well, what it going be fem boy? Leaving fiance to Shampoo's tender mercies?"   
  
Damn, this was a lose-lose situation. But if the only alternative to having Shampoo train Akane was to… "Whatever, let's get this started already. Now get your paws off Akane!" As soon as Shampoo complied, Akane hurried over to the sideline and Ranma went into fighting stance. "I'll only warn you once Shampoo, I'm not going to hold anything back today."  
  
"Like that warning," shrugged Shampoo as she took up her position about ten meters from Ranma. "Seen Ranma at best before, not like don't know what to expect. Let me give Ranma _real_ warning. Haven't seen _me_ at all out best." As Shampoo slipped into her battle stance, the air began to positively crackle with her angry battle aura. Akane couldn't help but tremble as she felt the ripples of that energy ominously wash over her. [Be careful Ranma].   
  
"Know why?" asked Shampoo. "Is simple. Same reason I never show Ranma how smart I really is. Stupid men like think they better than women, so smart women let men go on thinking that. But now we no longer engaged, time I show Ranma my real power as Amazon Champion."  
  
"Bah. Talk is cheap. And you know someone's in for an ass whuppin' after uttering that cheesy "Time to show you my true power" cliche. I wouldn't want this fight to be too easy anyway. Let's do it!" And with that Ranma charged at Shampoo…  
  
To be continued… In Chapter 10 Who's ya Sensei Part 2 Hmmm, the lead in turned out long enough to be a chapter in it's own right, so I decided to just divide this part of the story into two chapters. I promise the big Ranma vs. Shampoo showdown, with Akane as the prize, is next. Don't miss it! 


	11. Chapter 10: Who's ya Sensei Showdown

Ranma ½ and it's characters are the creation and property of Rumiko Takahashi-sama and various other entities, none of whom happen to be me. I'm simply using them without permission, but I promise to put them all back when I'm done, except possibly for Shampoo;)   
  
My other works can be found at http://www.angelfire.com/anime5/ficaleb  
  
Feedback may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com  
  
Support quality fanfic; subscribe to http://www.faniac.com   
  
Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
  
By: Kaleb  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Who's ya Sensei Showdown  
  
"SHAMPOO BATTLE DRESS, MAKEUP!"  
  
"What the hel…" Ranma's charge suddenly came to a halt as Shampoo twirled around and tossed her waitress outfit up into the air, leaving her completely naked and her now unconfined breasts free to follow those movements. Blushing, Ranma looked away, "Quit screwin' around and put some clo…"  
  
"Ranma, look out!" warned Akane.  
  
Diving for cover, then rolling to his feet, Ranma barely avoided Shampoo's lunge attack. Both combatants whirled around to face each other, Shampoo now dressed in her clans' full battle regalia; complete with bracers, battle bra, and bonbori, or rather, one of her bonbori. Shampoo looked at it, appearing confused, while Ranma eyed her warily, determined not to miss her next move. "Now where I leave other one?" wondered Shampoo aloud. Suddenly seeming to remember, Shampoo snapped her fingers, "Oh yeah," *KA-KLONCK* "Was in waitress dress," declared Shampoo smugly as her second bonbori dropped atop Ranma's head, dropping him to the ground. Clutching her bonbori in both hands for more power, Shampoo lunged like lightning again, prepared to pulverize Ranma where he lay. "HIYAA!"  
  
[I can't lose this quickly again!] thought Ranma desperately through his hazy head. Ignoring the ringing in his ears, Ranma grabbed Shampoo's other bonbori. "Thanks for the weapon!" shouted Ranma as he returned it to its owner with a full force throw, forcing an early swing on her part to deflect it. Now that she couldn't counter, Ranma sprung forward on his hands, catching Shampoo in a scissor lock, which he quickly reversed into a scissor suplex, slamming her to the ground hard enough to send her body bouncing. "You overcommitted your final strike Shampoo," scolded Ranma over his shoulder as he followed through on his momentum, flipping back to his feet.   
  
"How…?" groaned Shampoo from where she lay, holding her head with one hand and propping herself up on the other elbow. To Ranma's dismay she quickly got back on her feet, appearing only slightly dazed. From her dropped bonbori and the dents in her bracers, it appeared she'd been quick enough to curl her head and cover with her arms, taking the brunt of the suplex's force on her forearms. "Can't believe Ranma recover so quick."  
  
"I could say the same about you," complemented Ranma as he pressed his current advantage, unleashing a barrage of strikes at Shampoo before she could fully recovered. "I also can't believe how stupid that cheap opening of yours was; Shampoo Battle Dress, Makeup!" mocked Ranma in falsetto.   
  
"I thought it was quite stylish," commented Nabiki from the sidelines, "and an ingenious technique. Throw a guy off guard by twirling around naked, then take him out while he's distracted."  
  
"If Akane hadn't interfered Ranma would no still be standing," said Shampoo as she gave ground, concentrating on blocking Ranma's attacks while she waited for her head to completely clear. [That's no empty boast] worried Ranma. [I know she can win with one clean shot, but if I don't let her… Whoa! Barely avoided that counter. Damn! She's really good. And fast. Can't let my guard down for a second].  
  
"What are you doing here?" Akane asked as she turned to her sister.  
  
"It's not a proper fight without a Greek chorus," explained Nabiki. "And you can't very well be a chorus by yourself, now can you?"  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?!"  
  
"Anyway, this looks like it's going to be good. Shampoo's starting to put Ranma on the defensive and make him give ground. Looks like he may have met his match," said Nabiki slyly, watching Akane out of the corner of her eye.  
  
"Don't underestimate Ranma," huffed Akane defensively. "Even when outmatched, he's surprisingly resourceful. If there's a way to win, he'll find it, and if there isn't, he'll keep fighting till he makes one up. Besides, I think he's just trying to avoid getting in real close with Shampoo; she could slip in one of her debilitating pressure point attacks real easy then. He's just giving ground to keep her at arms length."  
  
"Your faith in your fiance is commendable. What say we put it to the test? How much you willing to wager Ranma wins this?"   
  
"W-what? … I'm not going to bet with you Nabiki! You always cheat and screw me over somehow!"   
  
"My, _someone's_ bitter about _always_ being got the best of," laughed Nabiki. Then speaking loudly while watching the combatants out of the corner of her eye, "I guess that shows who you think is really going to win. Poor Ranma, his fiance doesn't even believe in him enough to place a harmless little wager."  
  
[Akane?] Ranma's train of thought was abruptly derailed as Shampoo smacked him in the torso and upside the head with a double roundhouse. Stumbling back, her narrowly evaded her finishing hook kick and follow through sidekick. Regaining his focus, he still couldn't help but glance over at the girls on the sideline one more time.   
  
Akane embarrassedly looked away. "Guess I can't blame you after seeing how sloppy Ranma just was," said Nabiki. "At this rate Shampoo will have him in no time."  
  
  
  
"Shut up Nabiki. Who knows what you learned from that day with Shampoo that your keeping to yourself."  
  
"Well, I did learn something," admitted Nabiki, "but nothing that'll give me an edge here, and not for lack of trying. Still, _I've_ got enough faith to bet on Shampoo, even though I honestly don't know how this'll turn out. I'd forgotten how exciting it could be to have things uncertain. Your missing one of your best chances Akane; it's rare for me to go on instinct instead of insider information."  
  
"Fine, I've got 500 on Ranma," said Akane determinedly, despite never having won a bet against Nabiki, or perhaps because of it.   
  
"500? _That's_ the extent of your faith? Please Akane, lets make this worth our time. I've got 5000 on me which I'm willing to put on Shampoo."  
  
"5000?! I thought you were near broke a couple days ago. Where'd you get… never mind. I don't want to know. I'll bet 2000 that Ranma wins, you can take it or leave it."  
  
"Deal," said Nabiki with a smile as she and Akane shook on it. "All right! Go get him Shampoo! If you win this we'll celebrate with some drinks from my winnings! Of course I'll expect you to make up for skipping out on the tip last time!"  
  
"Would give that rest already?! Still, drink really hit spot after get done here," said Shampoo as she casually wiped the sweat from her brow with one hand and blocked Ranma's punches with the other. It irritated Ranma, but Shampoo didn't feel quite as confident as she was acting. Against opponents who she didn't take down immediately, she usually was able to pick up on patterns in their fighting style by now. Everyone had attacks and defenses that they unconsciously favored, and once she detected them, she could very quickly end a match. But Ranma seemed to be stringing his moves together completely randomly, yet not haphazardly, it was too damn effective for that. There seemed to be an almost poetic method underlying the madness, but for the life of her Shampoo couldn't read or anticipate it.   
  
That wasn't keeping her from launching her own offense though, as evidenced by her turning her sweat wiping into a knife hand counter. Shampoo was sure she had him, but at the last moment he ducked, not enough to evade the blow, but a knife hand was designed to either break the neck or rupture the carotid artery; at this level her hand merely bounced off his head. [Ow! Thick skulled idiot! How I keep missing ? Had several strikes already should connected cleanly! Like he dodging by sheer force of will to no lose, where his power come from? Got to get guard down somehow.] Turning toward the girls on the sideline, Shampoo asked sweetly, "Where Akane going to treat her knight to date if he win her winnings?"  
  
"W-what, that wasn't part of the bet!" exclaimed a blushing Akane. "T-the jerk would probably lose rather than have to date me."  
  
"Eyes front you cocky bastard. Let's see you block all these! TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!" Ranma unleashed the first technique taught him by the Amazons; a burst of speedy movement capable of unleashing hundreds of punches instantaneously. They were far to fast for the girls to follow, but before they were finished Shampoo was knocked off her feet and then sent flying across the yard. "Hah! How'd you like that! You fly a lot further than Ryo… *gasp*" Ranma's taunts were cut short as he went down on one knee and clutched the bottom of his ribcage.   
  
"Both of them? Good thing I had you bet on Ranma winning. Even if it's a draw, I win," said Nabiki.   
  
"Would you shut up about that! I think Ranma's choking!" said Akane as she rushed toward Ranma's side. "Shampoo must have traded with him and struck his diaphragm. If she paralyzed it he won't be able to breathe! God, I hope that idiot didn't knock her out. She might be the only one who can release it in time!" Realizing the situation was serious, Nabiki ran over to check on Shampoo. "Ranma! Are you okay? Can you breathe?! Say something!" implored a panicked Akane.  
  
"And *gasp* how the hell *gasp* … would I do that if I was *gasp* choking," said an annoyed Ranma through labored breathing. Fortunately he was too short on breath to add an insult questioning his fiance's intelligence, or he really would have been finished.   
  
"Oh right, you'd need air to… Then you are alright!" said Akane thankfully.   
  
"Of course I am…" said Ranma as he pushed Akane away. "I was able to twist enough… to throw her aim off… it's just cramping a little… Now get out of the way!" snarled Ranma, "…I've got a fight to finish…"  
  
"Damn, Shampoo thought finished you there," spat the amazon as she rose too her feet, looking a little worse for wear. "Still, only matter of time before Ranma falling," declared the amazon as she wasted no time charging back in at him. "Was waiting for Ranma use that technique," taunted Shampoo as she and Ranma rejoined their hand to hand melee. "When focus on such excessive punching, leave small but perfect opening for Shampoo."  
  
"Yeah, too bad you blew it. I'd say you got the worse of that exchange," boasted Ranma as he regained his breath. "Sure it hurts a bit to breathe in, but that's nothing I can't ignore now that the cramping has stopped. Face it, your fancy little pressure point attacks are worthless as long as I keep in motion. Your good, extremely good in fact… for a girl; but you can't beat me without the weapons, cheap shots, and tricks you amazons use to compensate for being weaker than men."  
  
"Really? Chauvinist pig boy just keep trying convince self that as long as able. Martial art lot more than raw strength; not how hard or how much, but _how_ hit that matter," lectured Shampoo as she slipped a hook past Ranma's guard. "And I knowing how do more damage!" twisting her knuckles, Shampoo shredded Ranma's inner cheek against his own incisors.   
  
"You'd been better off rechambering that attack quickly," countered Ranma as he grabbed her wrist, "than risking an opening just to add that spiteful injury!" Using the momentum he already had from the amazon's blow, Ranma yanked Shampoo off her feet, over his head, and slammed her straight on her back. Expecting a follow up throat strike, Shampoo wildly lashed out with a pressure point counter, but Ranma knew better to stay in close with the amazon. Withdrawing into a crane stance, he then launched an ax kick, dropping it straight at Shampoo's raised head. "TAAAH!"  
  
Flattening her head against the ground and catching Ranma's heel in her palm, Shampoo was able to bring it to a stop right before it impacted her face. Bringing her other hand up, she shoved back, throwing Ranma off his feet. [Shit, that too close!] thought Shampoo as she scrambled back onto hers. [Can't believe let sexist fools trash talk make Shampoo so careless! That supposed be my game!] Panting, the two tired warriors turned back toward each other. Without giving either of them time to catch their breath, Shampoo resumed her assault. "Might think have advantage as man," warned Shampoo, "but if Ranma no start taking seriously and stop pulling attacks, won't stand chance!"  
  
"Huh? I'm not…"  
  
"Don't jerk Shampoo round! I felt! With ax kick, and Tenshin Amaguriken, was slight, but didn't put full force behind," suddenly bringing her arms back to help brace her stomach, Shampoo let Ranma's sucker punch connect. "See?!" accused the amazon as she locked her indignant eyes on Ranma "You holding back!" Her angry counter punch knocked a surprised Ranma for a loop.  
  
[She's right!] realized Ranma as he got back on his feet. [It was almost imperceptibly slight, but I did pull that punch at the last moment. But why? I wasn't trying too…yikes!]  
  
"You find I hard enough knock out as is; so stop playing and give Shampoo real fight!"  
  
"You tell him Shampoo! Kick his ass!" cheered Nabiki, feeling that things were finally turning around.  
  
"You idiot! I thought you weren't going to be holding back!" yelled a distraught Akane. "You make me almost hope Shampoo kicks that chauvinistic ass of yours!"  
  
"Damn it! Could I please get a different cheerleader?" Ranma complained while weaving his way around Shampoo's ferocious attacks while trying to figure out what in the world was wrong with his.   
  
"I don't think he can help it Akane; as long as I've known him, hitting girls hasn't been Ranma's style," Nabiki explained. "I've heard that male wolves are hardwired to be incapable of hurting the females. Ranma has pretty entrenched ideas about what is and isn't proper conduct for a man. Striking women may be distasteful enough to him that he's subconsciously shrinking from it. You can't expect him to immediately discard something so ingrained that it's become an instinct."   
  
"Oh Ranma… you… y-you dummy!"  
  
"Which means he's in big trouble," concluded Nabiki. "Given Shampoo seems to be real tough and that Ranma's attacks aren't at full strength, I don't think he can score a KO."   
  
"Hey, if Shampoo had been just a bit slower reacting, both the suplex and the ax kick would have been lights out for her," pointed out Akane.  
  
"_If_ she'd been slower, but she wasn't. She's incredibly fast, and with a strong defense to top it off. I don't think Ranma's used to dealing with an opponent who doesn't give him the speed advantage."  
  
"We could say the same for Shampoo. They've both got an amazing amount of agility. I can hardly follow their exchanges; they seem about equal speed wise."  
  
"For now," admitted Nabiki. "But I think I see Shampoo's strategy. The longer this battle goes on, the more likely Ranma is to lose."   
  
"Wha…?" Akane's question was interrupted by Ranma's body crashing between the two girls.  
  
"What wrong Ranma?" Shampoo asked sweetly as she lowered her foot. "*tsk* You bit too slow there. Is the mighty man getting tired?" suggested the amazon as she advanced on her panting rival.   
  
  
  
"She's wearing him out!" realized Akane.   
  
"Uh huh," Nabiki said. "Intense hand to hand combat can be even more exhausting than all out sprinting. They've been going at it for a while now, and Shampoo's been making sure Ranma doesn't get any breathers.  
  
"But shouldn't Shampoo be slowing down too?" asked Akane.  
  
"Not yet. Her everyday training gives her a definite edge over Ranma here."   
  
"Daily training?"   
  
"The deliveries…!" realized Ranma as he desperately gave ground, trying keep his distance from the relentless amazon. But he was rapidly running out of space to back up into.   
  
"You mean all her biking for the Cat Cafe customers…?" Akane said in disbelief.   
  
"Yup," confirmed Nabiki. "Customer satisfaction is the most important factor in the restaurant business. Happy customers become repeat customers. It's imperative to get their food to them as quickly as possible. Considering Shampoo's skill on her bike, the Cat Cafe must have quite the reputation for delivery."  
  
"True, true," chimed in Shampoo as she stepped inside Ranma's punch and sent him flying into the wall with a sidekick. "Our speedy deliveries so popular. Is insane. At peak time Shampoo so busy zooming back and forth. Is much exhausting. But try to stay fast as possible, get bigger tips then."  
  
"Everyday Shampoo pushes her lungs endurance to the max trying to get her customers their dinner piping hot. What a work ethic! No wonder she's out lasting Ranma. Doesn't help that he's got an injured diaphragm either. Shampoo probably had this planned from the start," said Nabiki with obvious admiration.   
  
"And Ranma only helped speed things up with his Tenshin Amaguriken!" groaned Akane. "Throwing all those punches so quickly is taxing. He completely wore himself out that time he kept using them to beat Ryoga's bakentetsu endurance."   
  
"Still think got best of exchange?" taunted the Amazon as she leisurely advanced on her cornered prey, licking her lips and flexing her fingers for effect. [Like a cat's claws] Ranma couldn't help but think as he shivered with dread. There was no mercy in her eyes, only a gleeful sadism. First she'd paralyze, then play with him. Ranma's instincts were screaming at him to run, and only the knowledge that she'd pounce if he so much as began to bolt allowed him to hold his ground. [Get a hold of yourself Ranma!] thought the Saotome youth as he tried to fight down the irrational terror taking hold of him and keeping him from thinking straight. [Don't let her unnerve you! Think! There's gotta be a way to turn this around…!]   
  
"Pathetic," said Shampoo with amused disgust as Ranma clutched his trembling and hyperventilating body. "Must realize useless to try resist. Perhaps hope I get bored and finish off sooner? Coward Mouse boy not man at all," Shampoo said sadly as she prepared her final pressure point attack.   
  
She never got to deliver it though. Only her noticing Ranma's pupils suddenly dilate and her awareness of his ki field drastically shifting allowed her to put up her defenses in time. Not that they did her much good. With a blood curdling "MEOOWWRR" Ranma pounced at the amazon. Shampoo backed out of the range of his claw swipes, but not far enough to avoid the powerful ki aura that surrounded the Neko-ken; a ki aura to which bracers and flesh were hardly impediments. Shampoo screamed in pain as Ranma converted her forearms into bleeding scratch posts. Concentrating on maintaining the ki field around her muscles was the only thing that kept them from being torn to pieces. Trying to ignore the burning pain in her arms, Shampoo swatted Neko-Ranma away with a double backhand, buying herself a moments respite. "I-impossible," shuddered the amazon, "Wasn't pushing Ranma far enough to make snap…"   
  
"No, unless he deliberately decided to push himself over," realized Akane.   
  
"You mean he did it on purpose?" Nabiki gasped. "I didn't think he could do that. His phobia's so intense that he always avoids it. Even when he wanted to use it against Cologne, you had to shove Shampoo in his face to force his change."  
  
"Right, but this time he didn't run. Instead he faced his terror and embraced it, confronting those traumatic memories that Shampoo was trying to use against him," explained Akane. "Ha! And you thought he was a coward Shampoo! Who's getting weak kneed now, neh?!"   
  
"Uh Akane, maybe you should try and calm Ranma down and we call this a match. If I recall, Ranma can't control himself in this form, and he looks like he wants to kill Shampoo right now. If his moral restraints aren't in place…" said Nabiki, only partially motivated by the prospect of losing her bet.  
  
"No! Shampoo still can win!" protested the amazon as she steeled herself. Now that she was facing Neko-Ranma, Shampoo finally understood why Cologne had thrown in the towel; if she made the slightest mistake she might very well meet a gruesome death at her former beloved's claws. "Ranma make mistake; Neko-ken pure animal offense. Shampoo can always find opening in attack like that [I hoping], and one opening all I needing [I really hoping]." The amazon also didn't mention the collateral damage she'd have to take. But it was unavoidable. Due to its inhuman speed and surrounding ki aura, the Neko-ken was virtually impossible to dodge. And the penetrating power of those ki claws made the technique unblockable to boot, as attested by Shampoo's shredded bracers. The Neko-ken was a truly horrifying offense. Still, as long as she could survive it… Projecting a cat like aura (easy considering she was intimately familiar with being one) toward the hissing Ranma, Shampoo intended to set off his territorial instincts and make him attack in a rage…  
  
End of Chapter 10  
  
Why? Because I'm evil. Bwhahahahaha! And as any fan of Shonnen knows, a good fight is more than an episode long. This won't turn into Dragon Ball Z though; I promise to wrap the duel up next chapter. Will Shampoo get horribly mauled? And just who is gonna win anyway? You'll have to tune in next time to find out. Don't miss it!  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Who's Ya Sensei Showdown: Sudden Death Overtime  
  
Shampoo: Why I no liking next chapter title?  
  
Author: It's a figure of speech.  
  
Shampoo: Sure, like you never playing with double or more meanings.  
  
Author: Uh… no comment.  
  
Shampoo: Let Shampoo see that script! *snatch* AIYAH!  
  
Author: Um… it's not quite done yet… [maybe I should just shut up and sneak out of here before she gets to _that_ part] 


	12. Chapter 11: Who's ya Sensei Showdown: ...

Ranma ½ and it's characters are the creation and property of Rumiko   
  
Takahashi-sama and various other entities, none of whom happen to be   
  
me. I'm simply using them without permission, but I promise to put   
  
them all back when I'm done, except possibly for Shampoo;)   
  
My other works can be found at http://www.angelfire.com/anime5/ficaleb  
  
Feedback may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com  
  
Support quality fanfic; subscribe to http://www.faniac.com   
  
Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law  
  
By: Kaleb  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Who's ya Sensei Showdown: Sudden Death Overtime  
  
"Shampoo, this fight isn't worth risking your life over! Don't   
  
provoke him further!" pleaded Akane as Shampoo stumbled back from her   
  
one-sided exchange with Neko-Ranma, one hand trying to dam the red   
  
stream oozing from her side.  
  
Shampoo was sorely tempted to listen to Akane. She'd never been   
  
more terrified in her life. Only once before had she felt Death so   
  
close by, but that time it'd been in an implacable impersonal form that   
  
almost seemed a savior from suffering, not this horrific beast who'd   
  
without a second thought bring her a dog's death in this unhallowed   
  
foreign land. Damn it! She wasn't ready to die yet. Sure, Ranma may   
  
have rejected her, but she wasn't going to descend into a depressed   
  
death wish like some pathetic angsty teen.  
  
No, now was not the time to despair. Looking up, Shampoo   
  
focused her frustration instead on her anger, glaring hatefully at her   
  
hissing rival. "Shampoo can't stop now. Rather die than let Ranma   
  
take this too from me!"  
  
"Huh, what do you mean 'this too'…?" asked Nabiki.  
  
This fight was supposed to be hers. Her revenge where she'd   
  
give that arrogant asshole who'd shamed her his comeuppance. Shampoo   
  
had always taken pride and power in being the first maiden and warrior   
  
amongst her people. Those two pillars were all she had, but they'd   
  
been enough to support her standing supremely self confident all alone;   
  
what need did number one have of others anyway? Then along came Ranma.   
  
Bit by bit he'd desecrated her maiden image, finally sullying it beyond   
  
repair. Even worse though was the ensuing loss to her self image; that   
  
supreme self confidence which had sustained her through so many lonely   
  
nights had been shattered. Still, even if she wasn't much of a maiden,   
  
she was still a warrior; maybe she didn't have love, but she had power!   
  
Shampoo had been looking forward to rubbing Ranma's face in the fact   
  
that he'd never deserved to be engaged to her anyway. But even that   
  
little dream she'd been nursing was crumbling. Why didn't any of her   
  
plans regarding Ranma work out? Why was this damnable foreign boy   
  
always able to surprise and knock her off balance?!   
  
  
  
Tensing herself as Ranma prepared to pounce, Shampoo was caught   
  
completely off guard when Ranma pulled down his eyelid and stuck out   
  
his tongue at her. Taking advantage of her surprise, he leapt over the   
  
wall. For a moment the frazzled amazon just stared in disbelief,   
  
before shaking her fist in outrage, "Tricky bastard better run!   
  
Shampoo hunt coward boy down to ends of earth! You no get away that   
  
easy!"  
  
"Wait, he was faking the Neko-ken?" said a confused Nabiki.  
  
"No, not the way he managed to tear up her arms and side   
  
without even touching her, that was definitely the Neko-ken," realized   
  
Akane. "As Shampoo said, she wasn't pushing him hard enough to make   
  
him snap, so he had to consciously choose to push himself over the   
  
edge. Since the stimulus wasn't as overwhelming as usual, I think   
  
Ranma partially accessed the Neko-ken while staying conscious of   
  
himself!"  
  
"Hmmm, it might have only lasted while Shampoo was threatening   
  
him," speculated Nabiki, "but that was at least enough for him to pull   
  
off the ol Saotome Secret Technique. I'm not sure if he's going to be   
  
able to outrun Shampoo though; she managed to bandage herself and pull   
  
out that bike of hers real fast."   
  
Bike in tow, Shampoo made straight for the wall Ranma had   
  
disappeared over. However, before she could charge through it like it   
  
wasn't even there, someone on the other side beat her to it. The   
  
amazon cried out in surprise as the wall exploded inward toward her.   
  
With Shampoo battered by the debris and coughing on the raised up dust   
  
(which conveniently doubled as a smokescreen), Ranma had no trouble   
  
grabbing her two arms and nearly yanking them out of their sockets as   
  
he delivered a swift knee to her gut. "Like I'd really be dumb enough   
  
to charge right inta the counter ya had ready. _You_ on the other   
  
hand…"   
  
"Walked right into Ranma's trap," finished Akane. "Maybe he   
  
can't win with a KO, but he can always grapple and put her into a   
  
submission pin."  
  
"Risky, getting in that close with her," warned Nabiki. "But   
  
he's got to risk it; he doesn't have the stamina left to fight much   
  
longer. And… Oh God!" winced Nabiki. "That's gotta hurt."  
  
Ranma yanking her into his knee had bowed Shampoo's head.   
  
Proudly thrusting it back upward, she struck him on the chin, snapping   
  
his neck back. She also repaid his knee strike with one to his crotch.   
  
Nabiki's remark however was in reference to Shampoo's follow through,   
  
wherein she bit Ranma's exposed throat. Only his twisting it at the   
  
last moment saved his jugular from being torn apart by Shampoo's savage   
  
teeth. He may have been keeping her pressure point hitting hands under   
  
control, but they were far from the only weapons at Shampoo's disposal.   
  
Thrashing back and forth like a wild animal (her teeth still   
  
savaging Ranma's neck) Shampoo felt Ranma's grip on her wrists slacken   
  
slightly. It was enough. Slipping her hands free, Shampoo placed her   
  
hands atop Ranma's. Rolling backward, she let go and sent Ranma   
  
sailing through the air. That he was reaching the limits of his   
  
endurance was evidenced by his failing to land on his feet, instead   
  
tumbling gracelessly across the yard.   
  
"Care try that again?" teased Shampoo coyly as she licked the   
  
blood from her lips, then wiped away the remainder. "First thing   
  
amazon maiden trained is how stop man who try force self on her. On   
  
other hand, Ranma Anything Go style quite weak with wrestling. Not   
  
surprise consider who originating school. Was good try, but you no   
  
will get best of Shampoo that way."  
  
"She's got a point. I just can't see Happosai having much luck   
  
trying to pin someone," snickered Nabiki at the ridiculous mental   
  
image. "I don't think the little creep can encircle a lady's wrist,   
  
let alone a whole body."  
  
"Who cares as long as I got enough grasp to pinch tit?" asked   
  
the Anything Goes Master as he jumped up into Nabiki's bosom and gave   
  
her a good groping.  
  
"ACK! Kill it! Kill it!" screamed Nabiki as she ripped the   
  
old lecher off her chest. Immediately dropping him as if he were some   
  
disgusting vermin, the middle Tendo sister proceeded to stomp him   
  
underneath her Birkenstocks. "You are so dead old man! DIE! DIE DIE   
  
DIE!"  
  
"Before I finishing Ranma off," said Shampoo as she attacked   
  
her exhausted rival, "want apologize for calling coward. Gave good   
  
fight, much better than Shampoo expecting. In honor that, I make kill   
  
clean."   
  
"Getting ahead of yourself, aren't you?" said Ranma cockily as   
  
he dodged Shampoo. "This fight ain't over yet, and there's something   
  
you should know; Ranma Saotome doesn't lose! MOKO TOKOBISHI!" Shampoo   
  
had no chance to dodge Ranma's point blank ki blast that sent her   
  
flying across the yard.  
  
"Ugh… Ego is it? Why I no surprised?" snorted Shampoo as she   
  
unsteadily rose from the tract her body had dug. "No get Shampoo with   
  
same trick twice."  
  
"Oh? How you gonna manage that? Looks like you're starting to   
  
get worn out yourself. There's no hiding it, you really felt that last   
  
blast, and I got plenty more where it came from. You don't have the   
  
stamina left to dodge them all," predicted Ranma confidently. "MOKO   
  
TOKOBISHI!"   
  
"Such stupid attack, make Ranma far to cocky," tsked Shampoo as   
  
she sidestepped the blast, then recklessly charged him.  
  
"Cocky?! I'm not the one rushing headlong into a ki blast.   
  
MOKO TOKOBISHI!" extending his hand Ranma sent another blast of his   
  
overblown ego at the amazon. But she'd already made her move. Moving   
  
so fast she almost seemed to disappear, Shampoo leapt over the ki blast   
  
and prepared to strike Ranma from the air.   
  
"HA! Now you can't dodge!" laughed Ranma triumphantly as he   
  
aimed his other hand at the amazon. Quickly rotating the bottom hand   
  
that fired the first shot one hundred and eighty degrees, Ranma brought   
  
the two together and poured everything he had into one final blast.   
  
"MAXIMUM STRENGTH MOKO TOKOBISHI!"   
  
Shampoo gazed condescendingly at the huge ball of energy   
  
hurtling her way. Before it collided with her, Shampoo closed her eyes   
  
and placed her palm right in front of its path. *KA-BOOM!* Ranma was   
  
blinded and knocked off balance by the back blast, leaving him in no   
  
condition to fend off Shampoo's jump kick which struck him across the   
  
jaw, torquing his face and neck violently to the side.   
  
"She countered Ranma's chi attack?" said Nabiki as she rubbed   
  
at her eyes.  
  
"Yep. All emotional chi attacks have a specific counter,"   
  
explained Happosai as he crawled out from underneath Nabiki's feet.  
  
"Right. The Shishihokaden didn't touch those who were   
  
emotionally empty," remembered Akane.  
  
"And all take for counter dumb Ranma move is projecting more   
  
confidence than one who firing," declared Shampoo arrogantly as she   
  
pressed her advantage. Ranma was to slow to deflect her attack, only   
  
managing to directly block it with his upper arm. Extending the   
  
knuckle of her index finger, Shampoo drove it home full force. Just as   
  
he was going to counter, Ranma felt his deltoid seize up, making him   
  
realize too late the danger of letting any of Shampoo's attacks land,   
  
even on seemingly unvital points.   
  
With Ranma momentarily unable to raise his arm, Shampoo's eyes   
  
glazed over as she moved in for the kill. One hand was brought round   
  
to Ranma's back, the other struck to the side of Ranma's sternum with a   
  
full force palm strike. Grinning evilly, like a child with his foot   
  
raised over an about to be squashed bug, Shampoo applied more pressure.   
  
Ranma gasped as three of his ribs popped out of joint. Using her back   
  
hand to maintain pressure, Shampoo aimed her new weapons for Ranma's   
  
heart and lungs (the two lobes on the left side).   
  
Without stopping to think, Ranma shoved desperately against the   
  
side of his ribcage. The sensation of his rib tips scraping the inner   
  
surface of his sternum made him cry out in pain, but at least it threw   
  
off Shampoo's aim. His deltoid recovering, Ranma smacked Shampoo in   
  
the face with a backfist. As the amazon stumbled back, a panting Ranma   
  
clutched at his chest, trying to get his nearly impaled heart to slow   
  
down. He marveled that it could be going at such a break neck pace   
  
when the rest of his body seemed to be moving with such a literally   
  
agonizing slowness, as if the cold sweat he'd broke out in was freezing   
  
his joints. Surely Shampoo would be upon him any moment to finish what   
  
she'd started.   
  
But the amazon's attack was held in abeyance. She just stared   
  
at Ranma in shock. In an attempt to distract her from attacking while   
  
he recovered, Ranma came up with an incredibly idiotic idea; using his   
  
verbal skills. "What the hell was that Shampoo?! That attack was   
  
designed to kill, wasn't it."  
  
Hearing Ranma's accusation, Shampoo seemed to regain her   
  
bearings. "… Ranma one who say no holds barred. Should not challenge   
  
amazon if not ready for anything. Many amazon attacks instant kills.   
  
S-shampoo not responsible for what happen in heat of battle."   
  
"Bull crap. A true martial artist is always in control, able   
  
to pull his attacks and only using lethal force when needed. It's a   
  
martial artists responsibility to protect life, not take it. And I saw   
  
that sadistic expression; you were enjoying crushing my life in your   
  
hands!"  
  
"I-it Ranma fault! Ki attack force me look at as insignificant   
  
insect! Why think us Amazon's ban them?! They unbalance too much!"   
  
No matter what she did Ranma kept frustrating her. What was wrong with   
  
her? Why hadn't she won yet?! She was Shampoo, the strongest and most   
  
beautiful warrior of her people, heir to the matriarch. This battle   
  
should have been over quickly, yet there before her was Ranma, still   
  
standing and insulting her; a living testament to all her inadequacies.   
  
Shampoo's frustration mounted at this extended duel, and Ranma's   
  
accusations only served to compound them. "And Ranma moral code only   
  
apply to his martial art. Amazon style have different purpose.   
  
Shampoo be within rights if wishing avenge insult you bring upon her,   
  
family, and tribe!"  
  
"Aha. I thought so," said Ranma darkly. "Finally figured out   
  
what this is really about. This never was about training at all, was   
  
it? This is about revenge."  
  
"What? No, I…"  
  
"You're getting revenge for my refusal to marry you. The   
  
request for training, the humiliation you subjected me too, it was all   
  
to set me up. You wanted _me_ to challenge you. Then you could claim   
  
it was my fault, allowing you to kill me with a clean conscious. I'm   
  
on to your little game now," spat Ranma.   
  
Everyone stared at Shampoo with looks ranging from disgust to   
  
disbelief. "T-that what you think of me?" trembled Shampoo with rage.   
  
"Y-you really think that what I wanting?! …I HATE YOU!" Ranma barely   
  
managed to avoid Shampoo's lunge at him. As she locked her baleful   
  
stare upon him, Ranma was surprised to see her dirty face was tear   
  
streaked. "That what Ranma expect, maybe THAT WHAT RANMA GET!"   
  
screamed Shampoo as she unleashed her most ferocious assault yet.  
  
"God, he's _such_ an idiot," Nabiki said in disbelief. "If she   
  
didn't want to kill him before, she does now. Akane…"  
  
"Yeah, this is getting out of hand… but I don't think either   
  
would forgive us if we stopped them, _if_ we even could…" worried Akane   
  
as she helplessly watched Shampoo tear into her fiance.   
  
Only her being to angry to precisely hit his pressure points   
  
saved Ranma, for the moment. But he could tell that he wasn't going to   
  
last much longer. Next time she knocked him down, he doubted he'd be   
  
able to get back up. "Shampoo…"  
  
"SHUT UP! Just shut up and staying down, forever for all   
  
Shampoo care!"  
  
"Now that there getting worn out, Shampoo's edge in skill is   
  
starting to stand out," opined Nabiki as she watched Shampoo   
  
relentlessly continue her assault.  
  
"Serves that ingrate right," said Happosai as he nodded his   
  
head. "Shows what happens to those who don't respect their elders."  
  
"Huh? What do you mean Master Happosai?" asked Akane.   
  
"Ranma's a slacker," huffed Happosai. "He doesn't value   
  
consistent formal training under a master. He surpassed Genma long   
  
ago, and his pride has kept him from acknowledging and submitting to a   
  
superior teacher who could further refine his technique."  
  
"And that would be you?" said Nabiki dubiously, "Can't say that   
  
I blame him."  
  
"See?! You kids have no respect for your elders these days,   
  
except Shampoo," said Happosai proudly. "She hasn't let civilization   
  
corrupt her. I've seen her training with Cologne early most morning   
  
out behind the Cat Café. It's submitting to that type of regular   
  
training from a superior martial artist which has given her a more   
  
consistent and refined technique than Ranma."  
  
"True," admitted Akane worriedly as she watched Ranma's failure   
  
to even slow down, let alone hit, the amazon with any of his attacks.   
  
"But Ranma has more "street" experience. Not that it excuses the holes   
  
in his training, but you learn things from real combat against a   
  
variety of opponents that you can't pick up in formal training."  
  
Damn. He'd sorely underestimated her. Now that his strength   
  
was giving out, Ranma was realizing just how skilled Shampoo was. No   
  
normal attack would make it through that tight defense of hers, and she   
  
was instantly all over the slightest hole in his. He'd never seen such   
  
sharply honed reflexes; almost automatic in their reactions to his   
  
slightest…!  
  
"Now Shampoo ending this!" screamed the amazon as she aimed her   
  
final attack at an opening.   
  
"Ranma!" Yelled Akane as Shampoo descended on him in a flurry   
  
of movement. Screw their warrior's honor. Akane took off toward the   
  
two combatants, hoping she wouldn't be too late to stop Shampoo from   
  
tearing Ranma to pieces. But it was Shampoo's, not Ranma's, body which   
  
came flying through the air, raising a cloud of dust as it landed next   
  
to a surprised Akane.   
  
Looking momentarily shaken, Shampoo quickly recovered and   
  
charged back at Ranma, with similar results; an intense exchange of   
  
attacks which sent her crashing back down into the dirt. But this time   
  
she wasn't able to get up as quick. "H-how…?"  
  
"Give it up Shampoo," panted Ranma. "No matter how many times   
  
you try, it'll end up the same way, and I'd rather not hit you again.   
  
I'm sor…"  
  
"Don't Ranma dare patronize me! It just fluke!" screamed   
  
Shampoo as she hurled herself at Ranma again. But he deflected all her   
  
attacks and then knocked her back down with his counter combo. This   
  
time she didn't get back up, just shaking on the ground with impotent   
  
rage. "What the hell going on! Shampoo striking at all weak points in   
  
defense! Ranma should be one… should be the one… No way stupid boy   
  
reading my moves?!"   
  
"No, I don't need too, since I'm the one controlling them."   
  
"Like hell!"  
  
"You said it yourself: you "striking at all weak points". If I   
  
deliberately show an opening in my defense, you'll strike at it,   
  
letting me control your attacks. As soon as I realized your offense   
  
was perfect I knew there was a slim chance to beat it. Anything   
  
perfect is extremely vulnerable; it's to rigid, without any slack or   
  
play. You've trained so much at hitting weak points as soon as they   
  
open up that it's become an automatic instinct!"  
  
"No way…" whispered Shampoo. "No fucking way!" the amazon   
  
screamed as she desperately launched herself at Ranma. Catching   
  
herself as she began to strike at an opening, the awkward hesitation   
  
proved just as disastrous, for it gave _Ranma_ an opening big enough to   
  
ram an entire donkey kick through.  
  
"You… still conscious?" panted a surprised Ranma as Shampoo   
  
struggled to rise.   
  
"This… this no over yet," gasped Shampoo. Her knee's buckling,   
  
she went down on one of them and settled for trying to regain some   
  
strength from there.  
  
"Quit being so stubborn Shampoo! "You can't expect to   
  
immediately discard something so ingrained that it's become an   
  
instinct." And you can't try and completely control yourself   
  
consciously in combat; it's far to fast for that. It'll take time to   
  
retrain you. So just give it up already. You won't last another   
  
round. There's no shame in that; you tried your best and gave me one   
  
hell of a fight."  
  
"Since when Ranma ever give up?! But okay for Shampoo just cuz   
  
she girl, is that it?! This not happening!" denied the amazon as she   
  
clutched at her head in despair. "Ranma no could come up with such   
  
counter and pulling off on first try! And even if did, Shampoo be able   
  
read counter which Ranma planning after puppetry openings!"  
  
"Yeah, you're good enough that you probably would pick up on   
  
any counters planned to go with a feinted opening," admitted Ranma.   
  
"But I don't think that far ahead. I'm not even planning those   
  
openings ahead of time, let alone the counters that follow your   
  
predetermined attack. That's why you can't read me; it's all spur of   
  
the moment improvisation," Ranma couldn't help but let a slight note of   
  
pride into his voice.  
  
"T-that impossible! To pulling that off…"  
  
"Guess I'd have to be a genius, eh?" laughed Ranma, his ego   
  
getting the better of him. "To be honest, I didn't think I'd be able   
  
to pull it off. I knew how I'd start, a deliberate opening to control   
  
your attack, and I knew it'd end with you getting knocked out of   
  
striking range, but as for all the details in between, I just made   
  
those up as I went, and somehow it all slipped into place. HAHAHAHA!   
  
That it worked out so well just goes to show what a genius I am!   
  
That's what separates us Shampoo. You're technique is excellent, maybe   
  
even better than mine, but you're only copying what you were taught,   
  
whereas I'm able to create something new from scratch," boasted Ranma.   
  
"RAAAAUGGGGGHHHH!" With a final desperate war cry, Shampoo   
  
gathered up all her remaining strength and charged her smug rival.   
  
Setting himself to meet her charge, Ranma sadly shook his head.   
  
"Her pride won't allow her to let go until the bitter end, will   
  
it?" sighed Nabiki.   
  
  
  
"That's the way of a true warrior," said Happosai. "They both   
  
know that."   
  
"Still, I'd rather not watch," said Akane sadly. "Poor   
  
Shampoo… she was so close, but to get so thoroughly beaten at the end…"   
  
*KA-THUD* "Ranma?!"   
  
Now it was Ranma's turn to painfully groan in disbelief, "H-  
  
how?"   
  
"Memory manipulation!" realized Nabiki, "When she was clutching   
  
her head earlier…"  
  
"She must have been dampening those neurons controlling her   
  
automatic attack response!" Akane finished.   
  
"First time I trying that on self," panted Shampoo, "Guess it   
  
worked. What now sensei? You all out of tricks."   
  
"So it's sensei now? No quotation marks?" smirked Ranma as he   
  
struggled back onto his feet by a sheer act of will. He knew now that   
  
he was at the end of his strength and running on pure will power; it   
  
was only a matter of time before he'd collapse from exhaustion.   
  
Somehow, he was going to have to win before that.  
  
"Even if he lose, suppose stupid boy proved self worthy,"   
  
admitted Shampoo with grudging respect as she lifted her tired head up   
  
to look at Ranma. She couldn't help but smile a little. "heh, think I   
  
be looking forward to future lessons. Ranma have something worth   
  
learning after all."   
  
"Ya bet I do!" boasted Ranma as he lifted his gaze to meet   
  
Shampoo's now clear eyes. "And you can bet this battle ain't over yet   
  
either. Just cuz you got around my counter doesn't mean you've won.   
  
Bring it on!" challenged Ranma as he shakingly shifted into a fighting   
  
stance and motioned Shampoo on with his index finger. [I can't stand   
  
up much longer, but Shampoo will want to score the finishing strike   
  
herself, which gives me one last shot].  
  
"*tsk* Ranma never know when beat," smirked Shampoo as she   
  
mirrored Ranma's stance. "But guess that how he winning so much.   
  
Either way, this match soon over. Here I coming!"   
  
"This is it! Go get him Shampoo!" Cheered Nabiki as she   
  
eagerly watched Shampoo go on the offense against Ranma, who barely was   
  
managing to stay one step ahead of her attacks.   
  
"Yep, it's all going to come down who can score the next clean   
  
hit," observed Happosai. "They're both at the limit of their   
  
endurance."  
  
"Come one Ranma, you can do it! Can't you start launching a   
  
real offense at least?!" ordered Akane. [Wait, that pattern Ranma's   
  
making…!]  
  
"That fool!" exclaimed Happosai. "Does he really think that   
  
will save him this time?!"  
  
"FINAL ATTACK:" announced both Shampoo and Ranma   
  
simultaneously.  
  
  
  
"HIRYU SHOTEN HAKEN!"  
  
"FIST OF FREEZING FORCE!"  
  
  
  
Shampoo smirked. Ranma had made a grave error gambling that   
  
she wouldn't recognize one of her clans secret techniques. So much for   
  
creativity; falling back on the technique that had won him so many   
  
battles before! But her smirk was wiped off her face as Ranma stepped   
  
in toward her. That wasn't how the technique was supposed to finish!   
  
Already committed to her final strike (a sledgehammer sucker punch that   
  
slammed into her rival's second charka/gut), Shampoo could only look on   
  
in dismay as everything seemed to go into slow motion and the   
  
signature spiral uppercut of the Hiryu Shoten Ha homed unerringly   
  
toward her chin. [oh f-!*]  
  
The spinning uppercut sent Shampoo's unconscious body spinning   
  
through the air. Ranma held his triumphant pose, the main reason most   
  
likely his being frozen inside a shimmering block of ice rather than   
  
trying to look cool (though he certainly was at the moment). After   
  
Shampoo's body crashed back down to earth, and for the first time since   
  
the battle had begun, a peaceful still silence descended over the war   
  
torn Tendo yard.   
  
  
  
To be continued…  
  
In Chapter 12  
  
Who's ya Sensei: Epilogue  
  
Damn. I misled again. Can't believe I didn't think there was   
  
going to be enough material for a chapter here. Didn't even really   
  
wrap things up. But the visual images at the end just soo felt like a   
  
chapter break point. Gotta go with what the story wants to do rather   
  
than what I had planned. Interesting also that the battle didn't play   
  
out entirely as I had scripted it in my head. So it looks like this   
  
section of the story, that I'd originally thought would be one chapter   
  
is going to turn out to be four.   
  
I am going to continue working on this story, it's my favorite   
  
thing I've ever or am writing, but it may be a while before it's   
  
updated again. Right now I'm looking into writing for faniac magazine,   
  
probably depending on if they actually get off the ground and are able   
  
to pay writers. There's a Trigun fic I'm working on in case they do,   
  
though until then I'm spending a lot of my writing time on a nonfiction   
  
metaphysics book for real mainstream publication.  
  
*sigh* Sadly, talent goes where money is. That's life. So if   
  
you want to help raise the quality of fanfic, go over to faniac.com and   
  
subscribe. Or don't. Ideally, faniac will get enough subscribers to   
  
start paying writers, and I can convince them to start publishing   
  
Shampoo's Chance as a serial story. Or faniac might go under and I'll   
  
resume working on Shampoo's Chance in my spare writing time when my   
  
mind needs a break from philosophy, but my output won't be as much in   
  
that case, because I won't have any deadline sticks or monetary   
  
carrots. Anyway, just thought I'd level with you on how things look.   
  
Thanks to all of you who've read this far! I hope you've enjoyed the   
  
trip! 


End file.
